Feeling overwhelmed that I’ve been diagnosed with Depression & Anxiety

[TishaJade]

Hi all,

I’m 22 years old and recently after several weeks of trying to figure myself out, have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and prescribed me antidepressants. To be specific, I’ve been suffering bad for about 6 months, but have probably been suffering unbeknownst to me for over a year. I am very confused because during the time I have been suffering, I have also been the happiest I’ve ever been. Having met the love of my life, plans to buy a home and have children in the near future and I do have friends and family’s support. During this time I’ve been irrational, angry, retroactively jealous, and insecure in my relationship though I have no reason to. It has seemed to be my perspective that has made it difficult to be in a good state of mind, no matter how I try and change my mood it cannot he changed. I now have feelings of guilt that my partner did not choose to be with someone who is depressed, and I feel ashamed to have depression as if there is something wrong with me. Even though I never felt that way about other people. I have always been supportive and understanding about other people’s depression, but I feel completely different about myself.

I have just started my medication this morning after a week of being in denial and feeling terrible about being on medication and already feel tired, cloudy and having strange bursts of anxiety.

I just wanted to put my story out there.

Does anybody else have any similar situations?

Tisha

[Lee97]

Hey tishajade

im also 22, I was on antidepressants from 16-19 years old and I do feel like they helped a lot. Often I could tell when I stopped taking them and so could others. The best I can explain it is it helped me not feel differently about certain things, but just be able to cope with it better. I never felt like a zombie or anything like movies make it out to be. Some of them make you sleepy, in which case you should take it at night. If they said it may keep you awake then take it in the morning.

But if you are not wanting to try them just yet, you have good reason. I personally wouldn’t straight away try antidepressants if you haven’t tried counselling or seeing a therapist first. Is getting a mental health care plan possible? Then you won’t have to pay. Sometimes talking can be enough. I’m studying social work and just did a course about counselling and psychotherapy and you wouldn’t imagine how many “types” there are and how they all work. It may be helpful to consider if you haven’t done so already.

but if you have and it hasn’t worked then the medication seems like a good option. Don’t feel guilty. Getting help is a good thing. Wouldn’t your partner prefer you get help now than leave it and suffer for months while it gets worse and they have to deal with that and watch you go through that? Think they would much prefer you got help and are trying your best to be better.
take care.

[TishaJade]

Hi Lee97

Thanks for your response. Over the last year or so I’ve discovered that talking to people does help me but that I always inevitably go back to the same pattern. I have tried to do counselling but have ended up on huge waiting lists and only able to fit in to see a psychologist in late February next year. I have tried talking to people online about my specific thoughts and triggers and I am only given tips on controlling anxiety which isn’t really relevant to the issues I’m having. I believe my anxiety is subconsciously affecting my depression and so anxiety is not present in my cognitive thinking which means I can’t control It and don’t even know sometimes that it is a factor in the thinking pattern.

I do believe medication is the way to go, purely because I can’t control my thoughts and cope with it once it’s there. But seeing a psychologist whilst taking the medication might help me change my thought process whilst in that better state of mind and prepare me to be weaned off it in the long run.

[Sophie_M]

We are letting you all know we're closing this and all TishaJade's other threads except for "Is it really as bad as I think?" in the Staying well section.
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/is-it-really-as-bad-as-i-think-...

Keeping to one thread makes it easier for members to keep up with TishaJade's story, and saves them from having to repeat information.