Feeling lost

[Rye]

Hi all, my names Ryan. For some time I've been feeling extremely lost. Last year I was diagnosed with PTSD, Health/Generalised Anxiety and was told I showed symptoms of a personality disorder but not enough to diagnose. I've struggled with my mental health since I can remember as I grew up in a DV household from a family that wasn't very close. Ever since I can remember I've struggled with my thoughts. More often than not I feel trapped inside of my head, I have thoughts racing all the time about anything and everything. It feels hard to quiet these thoughts most of the time and It's become so overwhelming that I'm feeling extremely unmotivated in my day to day life. I've been to therapy before, but I've gotten to the point where I even feel useless in therapy as I know most of the things they're telling me.
I've struggled to keep a job, I inevitably feel pressured in every single job I've been in so much to the point where every job I typically leave for mental health reasons. It was a similar thing to school - I always struggled attending as I'd often find myself with this massive anxiety and lack of motivation.
I'm truly at a standstill on where to go from here, I'm so lost and feel so behind my peers, I feel like I'm disappointing every person around me.
I'm on anti-depressants, I exercise daily and meditate but even still I feel miserable most days & have to mask and pretend I'm doing better than I really feel.
Any tip's on where to go from here for me?

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ryan,

Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story. It’s clear from your words how deeply you’ve been affected by your experiences, and how long you’ve been trying to manage what’s become an exhausting internal battle. You’re absolutely not alone in feeling this way. Many people in this community will relate to the sense of being “stuck,” especially after years of doing everything “right” and still feeling weighed down.

You’ve clearly put a lot of effort into your wellbeing, from therapy to exercise and meditation and that shows so much resilience, even if it hasn’t brought the relief you were hoping for. Feeling unmotivated, or like therapy isn’t helping anymore, doesn’t mean you’re failing. Sometimes it means the tools we’re using just aren’t the right ones yet, or that we need a different kind of support whether that’s a new therapist, a more targeted therapy style, or something more specialised like trauma-informed care.

Feeling like you’re behind your peers or disappointing others is such a heavy burden, but you’re here, and that shows strength. The fact that you’re still reaching out and still looking for something better says a lot about your determination, even on the hardest days.

We’re really glad you found your way here. You deserve support that works for you, and this community can be part of that. Please keep posting! You matter, and your voice belongs here.

Warmly,
Sophie M

[TrueSeeker]

Hello Rye

I'm so sorry that you're going through all this. It's a big load and it's really good that you keep looking for different things that might work for you. It sometimes all feels so overwhelming, confusing and exhausting. It can help just to take a bit of break and when you're ready, take tiny little baby steps and see how it goes.

I think it's completely normal to constantly think. It's our mind's job to process our surroundings, our past and possible future. It's ok to just let it do what it needs to do and be an observer. It helps us to understand ourselves. It can become a problem what our thoughts aren't helping us to feel better and need to be corrected
to what we like them to be.

I can see that you have a lot to deal with and sometimes just focusing on what we want can help to make our thoughts more productive. When I feel lost, I keep repeating to myself "I just want to be happy" and somehow my mind starts bringing up things that could make me feel better that I might've forgotten about or wanted to try. It helps to boost our energy to just do something that we enjoy and makes us feel better.

I know it can be hard, please take care, be nice to yourself and feel free to share any thoughts or feelings as it can help to make sense out of it all