Feeling blue lately because of stress of work and financial struggles

[Ace.x-ray]

Hello this is my first post and I want to tell you a little bit about myself before I write my problems I am facing right now.

I am a shy and quiet woman and have been bullied for a long time, which started in high school and it is still happening up until now. It has affected me so much that I lose faith and trust in people who I meet and they don’t understand my personality. I am often quiet and resevrd which they think I am ignorant or uninterested but I am not because of my shyness.

Also my father was never there in my life as he was a gambler and an alcoholic, stealing money from my family and going to the rsl clubs to play poker when he didn’t care about us.

I have been struggling to find full time work in the last few years and it is because I lack in confidence and my shyness gets in the way as well as my anxiety. So i have no idea where to go with this.

But now I have got a part time job in housekeeping. A fee days ago I got my first feedback and it wasn’t great after reading my feedback. I felt hopeless and unworthy. I always blame myself and let myself down, that what I do doesn’t make my clients happy and I think that i am not good in anything and worry about my future.

[Hanna3]

Hi Ace and welcome to the BB site! I'm fairly new here myself but I did want to welcome you and let you know I've found this a safe, supportive place to be. I'm sure others will come on and help/support you soon. It takes a little while to get used to navigating around the site but once you get to know some people it's a real help. Everyone is supportive and kind.

I can relate to what you say, I was bullied at school, it continued for years into my working life too. I went nursing after school but was immediately picked out as an easy victim by a senior nurse and it got too much for me. I suspect bullies pick out anyone who shows signs of not being sure of themselves, which is what you sound like. People who are confident don't get bullied. Unfortunately those of us who are shy or introvert or in any way a bit "different" attract bullies (who are weak people or they wouldn't need to bully others to make themselves feel big).

So first of all remember you are a heaps better person than anyone who bullies you!

There are some good websites and Utube videos about being bullied so you might want to look around on the internet. Trying to act more confidently even when you don't feel that way can help. What about your good points - what positive things can you say about yourself?

I'm sorry about your father and your difficulties finding work, it's not easy these days I know. You sound like a nice person and you're clearly trying hard. Nobody is hopeless and unworthy so don't put yourself down like that. People on BB have had all sorts of problems so people here will be able to give you help, advice and support. Do look around the site a bit. Once you get to know a few people here it's a real help. Take care and go easy on yourself - you are clearly doing the best you can at the moment! Cheers and welcome again.

[Hanna3]

Hi again Ace,

A great website for you to take a look at is bullyonline I'd recommend you Google that and read up about bullying and why people are bullied. It's a terrific site and should help you gain some insight into why bullies behave the way they do.

Hope you login again and let me know how you're going. Cheers.

[Ace.x-ray]

Hey thanks for your message. Well I have been feeling better then a few days ago. I just had one problem at work and it got me down pretty quickly.

High school was the worse for me getting bullied for being quiet and shy. It all happened when my 2 female cousins left to another school. I would always hang around them and no one would bully me. But when they left I was all alone and the bullying happened.

I have done nothing wrong to them to deserve it. I was just trying to get on with my studies. Bullied thought I was an easy target because they knew I wouldn’t fight back.

But over the years I have grown more confident in myself which took a long time and forgot about the bullies. They are now repressed memories I can never forget.

I know I shouldn’t let myself down all the time by feeling unworthy and hopeless. This is one thing I still need to work on but it is hard. I have support from my family and friends.

A few good words for me would be that I am caring, honest, kind and helpful to my family, friends and people I meet.