Do you feel comfortable on the forum?

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I've just been having a look at some of the posts on the forum and have once again been aware that some people make a thread, post once and then we don't seem to hear from them again.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, I am just wondering why that might be the case.

Do any of you have any suggestions?

Can you think of ways people may feel encouraged to continue posting?

o you personally feel welcome on the forum?

Connecting with others on this forum can be so rewarding in many different ways.

I also realise a lot of people just read and don't post and that is okay as well.

Are there ways we can make people feel more welcome here?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts and ideas.

Cheers to you all from Dools

[music_man]

Hi Dools and Tim,

Thank you both for the reply. I'm not criticizing anyone on here. I've seen some great support given by people on here. It's just that in some instances I feel it's been a bit lacking. I understand and appreciate what you're both saying.

I think that due to being so badly let down by people in my personal life, I'm scared to reach out for help on here.

Jez

[Doolhof]

Hi Jez,

I really do hope that in time you will feel comfortable to share how you are feeling here if you want to.

From personal experience, I know what it is like to feel like just about everyone you have contact with is kicking you in the head so to speak. I've had some horrid encounters lately.

It does make it hard to trust people. If you share your hurts, pain, issues and concerns how are people going to react?

Another thing with the forum is we all use different styles of writing and expressing ourselves. It can be easy to take words out of context.

I heard on the radio the other day that is why emojis were designed, so that in the world of the written word, people would be able to understand the context of a message.

Thanks for sharing your comments and thoughts Jez.

Cheers again from Dools

[Guest5643]

Hi dools

Its a recent thread i wrote which is my latest struggle. For a little while now i cant understand what people are writing, the posts seem so complicated to me and i read them over and over and over trying to analyse them best as i can and because i cant understand them im convinced there hidden negative meaning towards me. Im clearly to stupid now for the forums.

Lynne

[smallwolf]

Hi Lynne,

Perhaps if you think about a post/reply as a written form of a verbal statement it might be easier? Probably the other difference is that it is harder to correct yourself here without making another post. I can also understand you looking for or seeing hidden negative messages. Is that something you were used to seeing before you came to beyond blue? That is how it was for me.

And I have seen how you write on the forums - you are not stupid. Some parts might be struggle, but you are clearly smart.

Tim

[Croix]

Dear Lynne~

I write long posts at times, and they may indeed be complicated in places.

May I say two things?

First I never ever put in hidden meanings unkind to a poster - ever.

Second if you to say to me

"Croix you posts are too long, they are too complicated and I'm having difficulties following you " them I'd not mind you saying that at all,

From then on I would break things down into shorter posts, with hopefully clearer meanings.

We are all different and writing to each other can be difficult, it does not make you stupid at all.

Croix

[Guest5643]

Hi tim

In answer to your question its a big fat yes. Over the yrs ive been more and more convinced that i might have paranoid personality disorder. Ive never been diagnosed with it but it seems to fit me.

Lynne

[Doolhof]

Hi Lynne,

Thanks for sharing honestly here, there are times when the written word and even the spoken word confuse me as well. It does not mean that either of us are stupid, just we don't understand completely.

One of my mental health diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. I need to be aware at times that what I think people have said and written is not the actual truth, my mind is distorting the words.

I also tend to waffle on with long posts. I find it difficult to condense things. That is just me.

Do you have a thread you have started Lynne or would you feel comfortable starting one sometime?

You are certainly welcome to "chat" anywhere on the forum.

Hope you feel a little more supported on the forum.

Kind Regards from Dools

[quirkywords]

Lynne

I am so sorry you do not feel comfortable on the forums at the moment and very sad to hear you feel you are being attacked personally .

There are some posts I find hard to understand especially fi there are no breaks in the post.

I have read your threads and your posts and they are thoughtful, clever and they encourage people to reply.

Dools, Croix and Tim have given helpful suggestions and have offered support.

when I first started on the forum I found it hard at first as I felt I did not fit in and had trouble understanding some of the posts.

I have said before you are an asset to the forums .

Thanks again Lynne for sharing your concerns.

Quirky

[Tess2]

Hi to

quirky and Lynne and the others on this recent thread.

my level of comfort on posting varies a lot. I have not posted on my thread for some time, as nothing much has changed for me and I feel I am just repeating myself and sound Whinging

i am now careful what I put on others as it is very easy to be misunderstood and upset someone and that would never be my intention. But I would want to support others where I could.

Some people do seem to attract a strong following and I wonder what it is, I think it may be that they are willing to reveal a great deal of their story and that intrigues others. I don’t know. But I know I can post and not be replied to at all or just receive one response. I am not overly chatty and can be very direct, maybe that puts people off.

But I am glad this forum is here for me and others if I need it.

tess

[smallwolf]

If you have been so used to negative comments in the posts or emails etc. then it would make sense you would look for them elsewhere. Give yourself time and perhaps one day those hidden negative messages will disappear - its OK.

Tim