Devided family due to Covid restrictions

[GreenBike2017]

Hi there,

I just joined BB because I just wanted to talk to someone who is in similar situation to mine.

I am a 40 year old female, married and have 2 kids in primary school.
We live in Melbourne and visited my mother in law in Brisbane right after Christmas.
I flew back on the 3rd of January and my husband and kids were supposed to be back yesterday.
However during their drive, VIC gov closed the border with 40mins notice and they had to turn around and head back to Brisbane.

I had a Covid test 2 days ago as advised and it was negative, but I need to stay at home at least until tomorrow night.

This situation really has been affecting me and I am so sad.
People in Melbourne say in social media, they have no sympathy to people like us.
They say we should not have gone to Brisbane from the start.
We have been following all government protocol, got permits and everything.
We just wanted to see my mother in law as we lost my father in law last March.

My close friend in Melbourne keeps sending me messages however she hasn't asked me if I am OK.
Everything she says is like "the government released this. Are you following the rules?"
She is a lovely lady but I have been so annoyed.

She went to one of Covid hotspot on Boxing day but she didn't have to take any test because she was there earlier than the person had a positive case.
My family did not go to anywhere near the hotspots in Brisbane but they cannot come home and I have to stay at home at least tomorrow.
Brisbane is not a small suburb but people in Melbourne think we did something totally wrong.

I am so frustrated. No one knows when my family can come home. I am also worried about my husband's job.
I know my problem is small compared to to others but just wanted to connect someone can understand how I feel.

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to beyond blue.

I am not in your situation yet I can imagine it would be upsetting for you with your family being split between 2 states and the thought you are in the wrong. When I heard the news when it was all happening I had the same question about those who were far from home.

Regarding your friend... texting and conversation are very different things. In person when starting a conversation we may ask how the other person is, but this is not the case with texting - skip over the intro stuff and get to the point. I do wonder from the post whether you friend know how you might be feeling? After all, they cannot see you. They may assume you are OK?

And with the latest lockdown in Brisbane ... there was also a news item about Victorians confused about the border closure.

I don't want to say that your problem is small or "not small" and when something is worrying you it can impact on your mental health. The not knowing when things will change is super frustrating.

So what can you ... ?

Perhaps a letter/email/call to your local member to see whether they can help you or provide you with more information.

Putting aside my issues with perfectionism, something my psychologist said to me... Based on the information available I made the decision decision I could and that is all I could do.

I hope some of this help.

[Guest_342]

Hello Green Bike,

This is so devastating - and you needn't compare your situation and trivialise it. It is all relative to what you're accustomed to. Your being upset is perfectly justified. It's such a sad situation, this uncertainty. also, when things happen so suddenly, there's a lot of confusion.

My partner lives in Sydney and I am in Melbourne. We had a trip planned in Melb over Xmas but it had to be cancelled due to the border closure. It feels like things will get better in Syd soon.

Hoping this Brisbane thing will be short-lived too. We had a family weekend planned this weekend but had to postpone, as one of us had done an overnight work trip the night before. I also have a friend who departed for Perth on 31 Dec for an 11 holiday and arrived to find he had to spend hi holiday in isolation, given the border closure and quarantine operated retrospectively.

I don't have any advice for you but just wanted to let you know I understand your frustration etc and think what you're done and how you feel is fair. No one should suggest otherwise. You do what you do, based on info available to you.

Sending you my support and thoughts.

[GreenBike2017]

Thank you for your time small wolf. I just have to wait and see what is going to happen. Appreciate your advice.

[GreenBike2017]

Hello Gelati,

Appreciate your time and thoughts. I didn't feel like doing anything yesterday but I'm trying to do few things today.

[Summer Rose]

Hi GreenBike

I’m really sorry that you and your family have been caught up in the border chaos. My heart goes out to everyone in a similar situation.

None of this is your fault. The pain of family separation is very real and you did nothing wrong to make a visit when there was a window of opportunity.

Eventually you will be reunited. In the meantime, look after yourself and do what you can to relax. Everyone is different but perhaps try listening to music, reading, walking or writing.

Kind thoughts to you

[GreenBike2017]

Hello Summer Rose,
Appreciate your time and kind words. Hope things get better soon and I can reunite my family. Being in quarantined at home by myself is a bit lonely but I will be alright. Thank you again.

[NobleAlarc32]

Hi, GreenBike2017, and welcome.

Allow me to express my sympathy for your current situation. Being separated from the ones you love and unfairly judged despite taking every precaution and following each and every regulation must be unimaginably distressing, though the fact that you have chosen to reach out for support and reassurance right here is a sign that you hold perhaps a whisper of positivity within that things will work out. Hold onto that positive spark, as it is key to helping you cope with this circumstance until you are reunited with your husband and children. Hang in there, there’s always hope. 😄

And no problem is too large or too small to seek comfort and support during this tough time. Always remember that many of us have been/are going through some similarly tough experiences, and we are here to offer a friendly smile, a word of encouragement and an ear as you share your concerns, free from unfair criticism, judgement and lack of understanding. You are most welcome here, and we’re glad you could join us. 😊

[GreenBike2017]

Thank you NobleAlarc32,

Appreciate your time and kind comment. I felt so frustrated and sad, I usually a quite outgoing person but this time I have been affected surprisingly.
I talk to my kids every day. They miss me and I miss them. At least they are in a safe house with their grandma. She is happy to have some extra time with my kids.

[Summer Rose]

Hi GreenBike

I really like the way you have identified a silver lining! Your children and their grandmother have received a gift of precious time, despite how hard it is for you. Your selfless appreciation for this is admirable.

Makes me wonder if there’s any way you can use your time apart to do something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t had the time due to the pressures of “routine” motherhood.

I realise you’re isolating at home, so it’s hard but maybe ... you have letters to write, or a family photo board to create as a surprise welcome home gift for the children, new recipes to research, or a special book or two to read. I don’t know exactly but a project that will bring you some joy.

Hang in there. I will keep you in my thoughts.