Depression and addiction

[DPC30]

Hi everyone first off thanks for letting me be a part of the community and letting me vent. I have read a lot of the posts and I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories.

About me I have been suffering severe depression for about 18 months after losing a large sum of money in a bad investment 

I went to a psychologist and went on antidepressants for about 8 months but didn't like the numbness that they make you feel and ended up turning to illicit drugs. I ended up overdosing and had a very bad experience in front of my wife and children. At the time I swore I would never do that again. I stopped all the drugs including the antidepressants.

6 months have gone past I am doing great I have lost weight I am training regularly my mood is good. But a good friend bucks party is coming up and I think to myself I can go I will get some gear and hold onto it till the event and i will have a good time just like I used to when I was in my early 20s.

Well it didn't go well I took all the drugs straight away my wife found out again and I have compromised my job. I am suffering terrible withdrawals and my depression is back with a vengeance but not just depression full blown anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts.

I realise now the trigger and that I cannot attend these kind of events anymore but the shame I feel right now because of all the people I have disappointed is just so crushing.

I am now seeking professional help for the depression and the addiction with the support of my wife who is staying with me bless her. Hopefully I can get my life back on track.

[Sophie_M]

Hi DCP30

First of all: Welcome to the Forums! We are so glad to have you here as part of the community.

It is clear that you have been through a lot and it can truly take its toll. It is an incredibly brave thing to be able to share with us here so openly. Putting words to your experience can be a very powerful tool. 

It is great to hear that you are looking into some supports to feel like you are getting back on track. Taking those steps is so important something to feel proud of in the midst of a really challenging time.

Please also know that the lovely counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service are always available to talk on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 11am-midnight AEDT.

Once again thank you for your post and for sharing with the community today

Kind regards
Sophie M

[indigo22]

Hi DPC30,

Welcome and thank you for having the courage to share your story. It sounds like you really had a handle on things for a while there, it's a pity that backward slide happened but at least you know now that you need to distance yourself from temptation. I can understand that you are feeling shame for disappointing those you love but the truth of the matter is that we all make mistakes, what matters most is that you are determined to make the changes necessary to make things right again. It sounds like you really want to make it up to your wife and that feeling will keep you on track when you are having difficulty. You got your life back on track once and I have no doubt that you can do it again with the help you are seeking. Hang in there and let us know how things are going, we will be here to support you.

indigo22