Depressed and feel like I've tried everything

[Danielle324]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post in a a forum - at the moment I'm trying anything and everything to move forward.

Long story short - I'm 26, I was diagnosed with depression at 19 and it has been on/off since then.

I started on anti-depressants at 19 and have more or less been on them the whole time, have seen psychologists on/off and have recently started seeing an acupuncturist.

In more detail-I'm working in a very toxic environment at the moment (Thankfully I should be returning to my old role within a month) but until then I feel bullied nearly everyday (but I don't think it's enough to involve hr) - I do think I take a lot of things too personally and can't take criticism very well. Lately even on anti depressants and everything I've been crying everyday and something small will usually trigger this. Today it was my manager telling me I'd completed this task wrong but he has such an odd/rude way of telling you. It's almost as if he wants to put me down? He always asks rhetorical questions and then when I answer I get 'told off' and he already knew the answer before he asked the question (that I'd done the wrong thing) god I sound like I'm in primary school and am getting told off by a teacher..... I usually just keep the things I say back minimal but today I had had enough I just said (in an assertive tone) it's not a big deal I'll just fix it - he definitely didn't like that response. After this disagreement I was nearly in tears,thankfully it was just before I was meant to leave for the day. I was driving home and wanted to see my friend but he way busy - this set me off - I cried all the way home (about an hour),my dad called and I had to tell him I'd speak to him later (because I was choking my words from crying) so now he's going to be worried (he knows about my issues at work/depression but I feel so selfish for worrying him since I'm 26 I should be able to look after myself). (That rant went on longer than intended...)

So essentially I'm after some advice of what to do next? I'm thinking of joining a support group in Melbourne but I am also studying part time so that might be difficult to get to....I just need to learn to not take things so personally...my job really isn't helping at all but it's not just that things friends will say/do offend me when I know they had no intention of hurting me .... for example I have a lot of pregnant friends and all I can think is that that'll never be me I'm destined to be alone....

Thank you in advance

[white knight]

Hi Danielle, warm welcome

I kid you not, no one it seems is more sensitive than me. So what is the answer?

• Get a job with the least people contact, this might mean a long term goal
• Learn to use a mask at work
• Use wit to counter others nastiness
• Treat bullies with the contempt they deserve

Here are some relative threads. You only need to read the first post. Use google

Topic: bullying- beyondblue

Topic: so what is their mental illness?- beyondblue

Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue

Topic: depression and sensitivity, a connection?- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

I hope they help you. Thanks for posting. Repost here or in those threads.

Tony WK

[Danielle324]

Thankyou for your reply tony I really appreciate it I’ll definitely check out those forums!! And they are very helpful tips as well. I try and disconnect myself which in itself is a horrible feeling not being able to be yourself but it puts up a barrier between how I’m being spoken to etc and thankfully it’s only going to be for about another month for me to push through! Keep focusing on the end goal! And I guess one positive of sensitivity is that we can be compassionate to people who need it