coping with loneliness

[Faithfalls]

I've been living on my own for the last 10 years after a painful divorce and was generally coping with life just fine. Lately I am feeling stressed by life and finding I can't cope with being on my own on the weekends. I have adult children nearby but don't want to burden them by being there all the time. If I sit at home I just cry for no reason and find it difficult to keep my mind occupied on positives. I had been drinking heavily but now I have stopped most days and cut back on others but feel worse than ever. When I don't drink I can't sleep and then I came home from work the other day early because I felt sick and kept running to the toilet and felt that everything was just overwhelming. I spoke to a friend but as soon as I got home I just felt like crying again and it's like I can't stop. I don't want to be like this.

Faithfalls

[Summer Rose]

Hi Faithfalls

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story. Please know that you have arrived at a place of kindness and non-judgemental support.

I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time. I want to congratulate you for cutting down on the drinking, as I can imagine that wasn't easy. But I think you will find that to be a really helpful decision in the long run.

I say this because I believe proper medical care will be far better for you. I'd like to suggest that you make a double appointment to see your GP and talk through how you are feeling.

Depression and anxiety are common conditions and with the right treatment most people do recover. The most important thing is to realise you need help and to reach out.

Lonliness is really hard and, while I understand that you don't want to burden your children, I'm wondering if you have other family or friends to reach out to? Some extra support right now might be really helpful.

Of course, there are also many people here on the forum who can support you on your journey. Please feel free to post any time.

Kind thoughts to you

[Faithfalls]

Thanks Summer Rose. I have phoned my GP and can't get in until Friday so guess will just have to hang in until then. I have been in this place before and I just don't want to do it anymore. Why do so many people suffer like this these days? Is it because we don't have the strong family bonds that we used to have?

[demonblaster]

Hi Faithfalls Summer Rose and readers ☺

Good on you reaching out darl it's often not easy is it and welcome to bb this really is an incredible place. It's a caring community with lovely people as you can see with Summers beautiful post ☺

How sad how you're feeling. Loneliness is a cruel hard place to be. There are some possibles to ease that. Summers touched on the medical side which can be of great help to you. It's very hard doing pain alone but rest assured you're not alone here ☺

If you do a search here Faithfall for "loneliness what" is enough to bring up "Loneliness what choices are there" which has a few suggestions. Also theres a few threads on loneliness which could if you're interested be of some comfort.

I think it's very thoughtful of you not wanting to be at the kids too often. I feel for you. I noticed you spoke of a friend do you think maybe you might be able to go out or have coffee together

Depending where you live there might be coffee clubs around, are you ok meeting new people?

Another thought is maybe joining a club whether sport, cards could be knitting group craft where you could meet people.

And congratulations from me as well. Fantastic backing off on the drink it wouldnt be easy you're showing tremendous strength and a wise move.

You mentioned you're not sleeping as well as a result I wonder do you exercise at all which if a gym or walking or ? you enjoy is very stimulating I find being out and about amongst it all and people. Sometimes a chat a couple of words smiles or simply being around them as opposed to home alone can have great affects on our mental health (MH) as well as endorphines waking up. Not sleeping tends to make us vulnerable and brings on emotions of sadness. This is where medical contact can initiate good help.

I hope todays a little easier for you. You know how it's hard to think of positives, keep at it they're still there just buried atm and when you think of anything at all you like whether it be taste visual a memory art clothing people you like love.. feel the goods that make you like it I'm finding is kinda meditation and gives a bit of warmth, the more we practice and habit positives the less room for negatives.

Hope to hear how you're getting on if you're up to it youre welcome to talk anytime

All the best and if you can keep at the back of your mind it won't necessarily be this way all the time ☺ especially that you're reaching out.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Faithfalls

Good to hear from you again. It's a bit of wait to see your GP, but great to have the wheels in motion.

I don't really know why there are so many people experiencing lonliness, anxiety and depression but, like you, I think the weakening of family bonds plays a role. I don't think our fast-paced lives or social media helps either.

I arrived from Canada 30 years ago and had only my partner here. As lonely as it was, it did force me to build a strong network of friends who have become my family over time.

I am so lucky to have these people in my life, yet at times still have to work at concentrating on what I have, instead of what I don't have.

I think I know the place you're in. I've been there. You are not alone, my friend.

Hang in there. It will get better.