Coping with chronic illnessess

[Stannie]

Hi
I have dealt with several Painful Physical chronic illnessess For 40 years. Mostly housebound and in bed 22 hours a day

I have a tick born disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, adrenal insufficiency, atrial fibrillation, POTS,migraine, spinal stenosis, hashimotos hypothyroidism and several other conditions as well. i regularly have days where I feel The pain and suffering is worse and beyond my ability to cope. I have developed one coping habit that is bad for my health. I binge eat or overeat, and it's getting worse. I've tried many ways and spent large amounts of money to try and cure myself from binge eating. If I was well enough I would seek professional help again but these days I haven't the strength to talk for long or attend it. This makes me very depressed on top of my physical ailments. The last 6 months my physical condition has got worse and that makes me anxious too. I'm writing here because I don't want to burden my Loving family more than they already are. I would like to cope better especially on the bad days when the symptoms are high and my thinking gets very negative. I have books and meditation apps and belong to online support groups but nowhere that I can be anonymous and speak my truth. I don't see many people other than my husband because I am home in bed and often too sick to do more than speak on the phone or FaceTime my children sister and mother. So I don't have much stimulation. And cannot use my hands other than to type a bit. Thanks.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Stannie, welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We are sorry to hear of your struggle, it sounds like things have been tough on top of the challenging medical conditions you experience. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need. We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness.
Please stay in touch.
 

[Stannie]

Thank you for the welcome Sophie and your kind words. Yes it's been very tough lately. I feel that physically I am improving Slightly but the last 7 tough months has brought Down my spirits and motivation. I've contacted an online therapy service recommended on beyond blue so I'm hoping that will be helpful. It has course work and I hope I am well enough to do the work. I feel that I may have some ptsd from the horrible symptoms of my illnessess. I appear very stoic and cope well to most people. Mainly because I don't like to sadden or depress them so put on a brave front. My husband is caring and supportive so I am very lucky. It's not been easy for him Especially in the early years but we have come through to a good mutually supportive place. He Cheerfully does everything for me other than personal care which was very hard for me not to feel guilty about but I have come to terms with it pretty much. He has had to be father and mother often to our now adult children. So there are a lot of losses and griefs to deal with. I Usually do cope well when my energy is a little higher but negative thinking accompanies the painful exhausted days. I do try to catch any catastrophic thinking and be realistic. It's strange though that on the bad health days Sometimes every little thing I've ever done that was selfish or wrong rises up in my mind over and over again So I feel like a terrible person even though these are things already dealt with. But still they come up over and over. You'd think it would be the things others have done to me that would be on my mind but no, it's all self criticising stuff and often just little things I'd neglected to do for someone or something I'd did that was personally humiliating. I think it's connected to the levels of cytokines in my body that are high during pain and illness days. As I begin to feel better physically so those thoughts ease up too. I'm not expecting answers to that but I do want to find better ways to counteract that negative thinking. Thank you for listening to me.