Confused, lost, scared, hurt maybe a little angry.

[Jrh2810]

Hi everyone. This is my first time talking to anyone so I don't really know what I'm doing. My name is J, I've just turned 32 and live in a small country town. My partner has just recently left me. We have been together just over 2 years and we have been through ALOT together. We were both addicts (clean almost 2 years now)when we met. She had 2 kids when we got together and we had a baby together 6 months ago 🙂 I have an 11 year old from a previous relationship. We both got clean together. We moved state. Disconnected ourselves from our old friends. Things were going pretty good until a couple months ago. Then a couple weeks ago she left and took her (I love them and treat them as my own) kids and our baby away. I went to work in the morning as I usually do. Gave her and the kids a kiss and left. By lunch time she said it's over and she's leaving. I'm hurt. I don't understand why or what. I know she wasn't happy where we live and wanted to move back to where we came from. I didn't because I didn't want the drugs to control me AGAIN and I couldn't trust myself back there. I sit at home and cry. Missing my family. I've called and spoken to the kids a couple times and they are really happy. Our baby girl is growing up so fast and I'm missing it all. I don't leave the house unless it's to work because I don't want anyone to ask if I'm ok. I'm not ok. I don't know what I should be feeling. She tells me that I ruined her life and that they deserve better then tells me later that she loves me. I feel useless what do I do now. Should I just let them leave and live their life. It's breaking me

[geoff]

Hi J, and well done for reaching out, I know it's not easy, but I want to congratulate you for coming clean and if you moved back to be with your friends then it may start once again.

You know that takes strength to stop an addiction but it worries me that she has moved back to be with the friends who may have instigated the addiction.

I certainly would not give up, you have children who love you and you may not be comfortable to let them leave and live their life and after all of what you have had to entail, you deserve them, but perhaps you need to consult your doctor and discuss a 'mental health plan, which entitles you to 10 Medicare paid sessions per year.

We'd really like to hear back from you as I too can relate to part of what you have told us, as my wife (ex) left me a couple of times.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi J,

Welcome to the community here on the forum. Sorry to read of your experiences. It sounds like the separation was something that really took you by surprise.

It must have been confusing for you talking tot he children, knowing they are happy but not with you. No doubt you had a lot of emotions going through you.

Is it possible for you to open up to at least one friend to let them know what is happening for you? I know how hard it can be! It does help to have someone to talk with.

You mentioned you are in a small town, I am wondering if there is much mental health support in your region. You could have a chat with your Dr and see what is available.

Geoff mentioned a mental health care plan. I live in the country and know finding help can be limited. You may find it difficult to find a psychologist who will bulk bill. You may get a reduced rate but still need to pay a gap in the benefit. It is worth discussing this with your Dr.

In the past I have also used Lifeline 13 11 14 and Beyond Blue support services 1300 22 4636 , you could also try Mensline Australia 1300 789 978.

People here may have experienced something similar to you. Geoff certainly has by the sounds of it. Hope you feel welcome to chat more.

Regards to you from Dools