Hi,I’m new to this somhave no idea about what goes on, but I know I need support, I’m sick of opening Facebook atc and seeing all these happy family posts, and I’m sitting in a house with a sick son, and I’m not sure what’s going on for Christmas if anything, I hate December, I think it’s always been a difficult month for me, looking after the whole family since I was 16 years old.I’ve put my foot down now because a few months ago I broke up with my long time partner and I’m no longer financially or emotionally able to do what I used to, begrudgingly every year anyway. I just sit here and look st happy families and I cry, I am looking after my brother, Actually I have legal guardianship of him, he’s 49 and loving in an aged care nursing home, it’s such a sad situation. About 4 months ago my youngest sister was diagnosed with cervical cancer stage 4, stated terminal on the papers, I still haven’t come to terms with that yet, and my youngest, who’s 21, has been diagnosed with not one but 3 rare blood diseases and he’s unable to work so he sleeps all day and plays games online all night, it’s not a life we’re enjoying I can tell you. I myself am on disability because of my mental health issues and some physical ones, mainly arthritis, and I’m not coping, my other children only want me when they need something, they don’t ring me otherwise, so I just wanna run away this year. It’s the first time I’ve got no tree up, my partner used to help me, it’s an 8 hour job, it’s the first year I’m not driven around to see Christmas lights and go to carols. I’m just so so sad, I cry every morning, wishing I hadn’t woken up yet again. I have no friends, I’ve always been a family person but now they’ve turned away cos I’m not my usual chipper self. They can’t stand the new me, the one who insists everybody has to put in for Christmas food or they’ll be none so I have a sneaking suspicion they’re doing their own thing this year. I feel sorry for my son, I don’t know what we’ll be doing, eating baked beans on toast and I’ll be weeping hysterically from the lounge room. What a way to say hi, I’ve probsbly just made you all think I’m a loser too, anyway I won’t go into any more sordid details of my life, I’m sure you’ve heard enough. Merry Christmas to those who are blessed to have one and a loving family and friends and parties, and I’m very sorry for the people who feel like me, alone and bereft. Dreadfully sorry. I am hating my new life right now. It sucks big time.
