Brand new

[K_Ley]

Hi this is my first time here.   I am just starting my mental health journey and I am scared to death of the next few weeks and months. 

[indigo22]

Hi K_Ley,

Welcome and thank you for having the courage to reach out. It can be daunting at first, not knowing what to expect, but I would like to help calm some of your fears. I have been on my journey for some time, so if you have some questions you would like to ask, I will do my best to answer them. The forum is a safe and non judgemental place to talk about whatever you are going through, we are here for you, you are not alone.

I would just like to make you aware that the forum will be out of action for few hours due to maintenance in the next couple of days so if you are unable to log in, just try again later, you will get back in eventually.

If you would like to talk some more, I will be following your post and will get a notification.

Sending you a big hug,

Indigo22

[Chelsea24-24]

• Hi I have suffered from Anxiety for more than afew years I have recently been walked out on I am hoping and wishing to get things really sorted and on track I understand priority is key.Ìt doesn't always mean that the problem disappear straight away but I think the main problem with my struggles are focus and to distracted to quickly 

[K_Ley]

Hi Indigo22,  thank you so much for your reply.  I have so many questions I don’t know where to start.  Guess my first question is can you recover from anxiety or is it life sentence that you have to learn to manage.  Reading so many conflicting stories.  

[indigo22]

Hi K_Ley,

It's good to hear from you, keep the questions coming when you are ready.

The answer to this first question is one that requires some thought on your part, so I will give you the short answer and then ask you some questions to think about so we can figure out how the long answer relates to you personally.

The short answer is that because we are all different, some are able to recover permanently, some are able to recover but have relapses, some need to manage it long term.

Anxiety comes from a feeling of being unsafe (for any number of reasons) and there are 'triggers' that set off a reaction in your nervous system. These reactions are known as: shut down, freeze, flight, fight, and regulation.

In simple terms, you are triggered to either stand up and fight, run, feel frozen and a don't feel able to do anything, or dissociate completely with the experience. Regulation is when you are feeling safe and there is nothing triggering you.

So my questions are about your particular circumstances and how the anxiety began to manifest.

Was there an experience/s that comes to mind that could have started the anxiety? This could be a number of things like being bullied, feeling disconnected and unloved with family, a burglary, verbal abuse, you get the idea.

How long have you been experiencing anxiety for?

Are you getting any support from a counsellor or any other type of support?

Are you on any medication?

Have you done any reading (not on the internet) about anxiety? I can recommend some authors if you would like to read more about it.

That is probably enough for you to consider for the time being and I look forward to hearing your reply.

You and I are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum, I have been dealing with depression for a very long time. Anxiety is all about thinking about what might happen, Depression is all about thinking about what has happened. The trick for all of us is to find our way back to the centre of that spectrum, that is where safety and happiness is found. Not an easy task, but also not an impossible task.

I hope this helps a little,

indigo22

[K_Ley]

thank you for the reply.  sorry its taken so long to reply.   I thought the anxiety only started after the death of my sister.  But I have to wonder if it actually started back in my early 20's to some extent.  I was in an abusive relationship (physical and sexual) for a number of years.  I have always been very shy and introverted since that time.  I never talked about the abuse to anyone after I left not even family.  Figured if I just ignored it then it would not bother me.  

I am receiving online therapy once, sometimes twice a week.  I have not seen a doctor so I am not on medication.  I spend a lot of time not doing things because I worry about whether it will work out the way I want it to.  But i also carry a lot of guilt and shame from the past.  

[indigo22]

Hello again K_Ley,

So nice to hear from you.

Firstly, I am sorry to hear that you lost your sister and and that you went through those years of abuse. No one should have to experience abuse of any kind. I think you will find that the abusive relationship was the catalyst based on the facts you have mentioned about not talking about it with anyone, burying it, being  shy and introverted since that time. I am going to take a wild guess that you are around 40 now? We can only bury things for so long, then they start surfacing so they can be addressed, which is what is happening with you now. If you haven't already done so, start talking to your therapist about that relationship so you can start healing from the emotional damage it caused. You will also need to address the source of the guilt and shame you mentioned with your therapist.

So I think the long answer to your earlier question is that if you put in the work that needs to be done, face the things that need to be healed, figure out what your triggers are and keep a positive mindset about recovering, then it's possible to recover. It won't happen overnight, it took you years to get to where you are now so you should expect it will take time for healing and recovery. Like I said earlier, not an easy task but also not an impossible one. I think your reluctance to try things is probably due to a lack of self confidence, which should improve as you work through the issues and begin the healing process. Please ask any other questions you may have, I will do my best to answer them.

Take care of yourself,

indigo