Bit of a intro post!!

ijk596

Trigger Warning!!! Mention of poor mental health, exercise and dieting.

Hi all, i really dont know how to start this, it feels a little weird. But i think this will be a good tool for me. Im not too sure the extent of things i can post in this welcome and orientation forum. So ill just give a bit of general info about me and my struggles and what i hope to find in these forums. I was diagnosed with MDD at 14-15 years old. Im now 18. I have a few health conditions, diabetes type 2 and hypothyroidism. I was diagnosed at 13 or something. When I’m experiencing low moods, i tend to isolate and just sleep and rot in bed. Its always been like this. At school, i would go for a few weeks and do really good and get so much work done and then i would just dissapear off the face of the earth (well, what it wouldve seemed to my teachers) and isolate myself for a few weeks. Its almost like im not made for this world, i cant function properly. I cant just keep a steady pace of whatever im doing - used to be school, now its tafe courses or a healthy lifestyle or maintaining good relationships with people in my life. I’ll do everything really good and put my all in and then i burn out and need to just rest. Im either all in or not at all. It is so tiring and has cost me so many friendships. Anyway, in December last year i had a hospital scare and it just opened my eyes. And then, at the start of this year, i started doing really well. Id go for 5km walks every day, in a calorie deficit, losing weight, reading self development books, taking time for myself and checking in with how i was really feeling. And then things went wrong in one part of my life so naturally I had to destroy every other good thing i was doing for myself. Im so sick of this vicious cycle. I want to start doing better again. I need to book a drs appointment to discuss mental health help but i have so much medical trauma and my recent hospital scare has really topped it off.

Croix

Dear Ijk596~

I'd like to welcome you here to the forum and start off by saying I think you are too hard on yourself. I can't comment on your hospital visit as I do not know what it was for, my own last one was frightening, not a good expereince

For the rest however having a cycle of doing a whole lot of supposedly healthy things, then collapsing and not being able to do much at all. That's another matter. For a start you are facing the effects of long term depression, diabetes and hypothyroidism. In my own case depression does come in waves, with times when I'm energetic, and other times when motivation sunks through the floor.

All of one's life is connected, and something going wrone in one area can have a big effect all over. One bad event can sink my motivation right down in everything.

I know it is unpleasant but you were diagnoed a fair whie ago and it really is time you went back to your clincian and set out all that has been happening to you. Those waves make life very difficult and things cna be much better. Treatments can improve quite quickly wiht new ones coming on-line, so confuirmatin of your conditions (or alternatives discovered) can make a big difference. The only real hassle is that treatments for each condition interacts positvley (I reply on my pharmasist quite often point out possible conflicts:)

If you think talking ot your doctor fact to face and being able ot give a complete and logical account then can I suggest you do as I have done. Take a couple of days to write it all down in simple point form (leaving nothing out) and then just handing the paer over. It seems to work well, I've ony been asked for more detail about what I've written and it is a handy list to work though.

Can I suggest at the good times you use moderation, especially with the dieting which can esilty reach the harmful stage.

Can I ask if you have anyone to give you support, family member or friend perhaps. I hope you do as facing all this along is extra hard. If someone can take you to the doctor and sit in the waiting room until you have fininshed so much the better.

You know you are welcome here anytime

Croix

ijk596

Hi Croix.
Yeah I definitely do want to make an appointment to see a doctor. It’s just finding the right one. I have been doing some research though. As a child i had a regular doctor, then moved to different town and had found a few okay doctors but no one that I felt that they were actually listening to what I had to say. Also, your recommendation of writing what I want to discuss to the doctor about is helpful. I also think I still have the letter that my school counsellor wrote to say I had been diagnosed with MDD. I can understand that symptoms of depression can be present in symptoms type 2 diabetes and hypothyroidism. I wasn’t taking my medication for a long time there. But since the hospital, i am back on them and definitely noticed the difference.

And yes, you definitely have a point of saying that everyone can feel like this, feel like if something goes wrong in one area of life, it can affect other areas. I just thought i would have bounced back better and had the motivation to do so since I had been feeling and doing so great when I was a healthier version of myself.

As with the dieting, I do understand that that can be a very slippery slope, however looking back on that time I definitely think I was doing it healthy. I was losing weight steadily, no drastic changes, just cut out junk and actually started to educate myself on food and nutrition and the things that go with it. I do have family and they definitely wouldn’t say no but I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. It has been quite hard to kind of deal with this on my own. Although im not on my own, im on my own if you know what i mean. So yeah, definitely trying to find a good doctor who can refer me to some supports.

Croix

Dear Ijk596~

Taking your meds sounds like it might be a good idea, just keep in touch with your prescribers about unwanted side effects, or the opposite where it appears to do nothing.

Also not being so hard on yourself. Bouncing back sounds all very good, but in real life can be a slow process, with ups and downs, in my case sometimes simply due to difficult physical states, others by depression.

The list is an excellent tool and it allows you not only to set everything out but is also a tracking tool where you get to see over tme how many points the clinician has addressed. You are right, finding the correct clinician is no small task.

Can I suggest you do try to find a supporter, they only have to listen, not panic, and show they care. They do not have to 'fix' anything. It helps when feeling overwhemed to have osmeone you can talk with.

You are course welcome here

Croix