Betrayed by a friend

[Nick_D]

Hi

I just returned from living in Paris yesterday after 6 months.

I met someone I grew extremely close to and we became very good friends. He would have been my best friend not just in France but maybe in the world.

Anyway, we spent almost every moment together. Not just because we lived together but because we got along so well. Normally if you're around someone à lot you want to take a break every now and then to get some space but not with us.

So I had to leave for a multitude of reasons and we knew about a month in advance that I was going home. Naturally I was extremely sad and cryed a lot. We would say everyday that we love each other and we're going to miss each other and it was going to be a hard goodbye. But we promised we could keep in contact via Skype or whatever. Also, this was not a romantic relationship but it felt like it just without the sex

When the time came, he saw me off at the train station and we said what we needed to say and I left.

I travelled a bit around Europe for 2 weeks before I came back to Australia because travel anywhere outside of our country is outrageously expensive.

Now, during the first few days we mostly kept in contact and we facetimed once after the first few days.

But then suddenly I got no response. And I haven't since.

I was trying to call him everyday after that. He wasn't answering and just reading my messages that were asking if we can talk or if he's angry with me for some reason and eventually explaining to him that I'm very hurt by his silence, but still nothing.

After about 10 days of no response and asking his girlfriend why he's behaving this way (she has no idea either) I stopped contact with him.

It's been a week now and still nothing. His birthday passed and I didn't wish him well or anything. I feel awful about it but he is refusing to even acknowledge that I exist.

I really have no idea how to handle this situation because I've never been so connected with someone in my entire life and I'm being totally ignored and shut out and he won't explain why.

What should I do? Completely ignore him for the rest of my life and pretend like those 6 months never happened?

Or pursue things further and keep trying until I get an answer?

Preferably the second option because it hurts the most that I don't even know why he's doing this.

[startingnew]

hello and welcome

what a tough situation your in! im not great on advice or friendships but perhaps thye just need abit of space or maybe he doesnt feel the connection you feel but doesnt know how to approach you about it?

can i ask if your female? just thinking that if your a woman then maybe his girlfriend is having a hard time accepting your friendship with her bf..

[Croix]

Dear Nick D~

I think there is a whole load of difference when you are actually with someone, even if they are about to depart, and the time after they have gone. Particularly if there is no reason to think they will return.

A few phone calls, Skypes or similar will certainly bring it home how limited the relationship has become. It can be exceedingly painful and if there is no happy ending in sight then simply letting it go might seem the best course. Sadly may friendships made when one is in one situation cannot be maintained when circumstances change.

I don't know what you would like to have happened, or expected. I'd think it improbable to maintain the same sort of behavior and obtain the same enjoyment across the world. While it might be tempting to ask if he wanted to close things off why has he not said so, perhaps he to is not only unhappy but confused and unsure what's for the best.

One thing to bear in mind perhaps is that you have discovered that you have the ability for a close relationship, I would think you will find others.

Croix