Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Our family has been affected by someone who has narcissist traits.

replies: 5

HI everyone, my wife has been working with a guy who we now know was love bombing her. He was all over her at 3 different work parties and she has told him that she's married and that he should be happy with his girlfriend. Since this rejection which was done in a nice way he has been splitting and treating her terrible. All she wanted with him was friendship and not anything romantic but he kept pushing it by text etc. He has all the traits of both borderline personality disorder and narcissist personality disorder. The thing is that my wife believes that his bad treatment of her is all her fault and that she must have done something to make him change. I won't go into all the things he is doing in this post but it involves splitting, gas lighting, triangulation leeching supply etc. Is there any councilling services in the north of adelaide that can help us..?

Newbie

replies: 2

Hi i am struggling with depression and anxiety i had a car crash 2 years ago and that has left me in able to work i have tried tms and now doing ect i has been a long painful time i have chronic back pain and i am feeling like ther is no end to this i see no hope of a future job and just don’t know what to do i am on lots of anti depressants and i feel they are just masking the pain i am on lots of pain killers to i have lost many friend as I don’t go out a lot due to the anxiety and panic attacks i am hopping some one mite be able to help thanks

New to Beyond Blue but not new to life

replies: 6

Hi all, My introduction Thought I should join to gain more insight into life, I am nearly 50, I live with a alcoholic abusive girlfriend for going on 6 years and have a permanent employment in a industry that favours a younger generation. While I still see simple beauty in life, from nature, knowledge and other avenues, perhaps my expectations on life are unrealistic to think people can be better than what the media and the world shapes them to be. I know I can't change the world but I believe that the only time you ever look down on a person is when you are helping them up, irrelevant of their race, religion, skin colour or sexual orientation. Thanks for reading, Deadpan

I need of a friend. God that sounds needy!

replies: 7

Hi Folks, I'm new to Beyound blue. Up until now i have always wondered about the name "beyound blue" but i can completely relate to it now. i moved to Oz, from the uk, just over 3 years ago. I came heree with my aussie wife and 2 young uns. Since moving things have slowly headed more and more into the blue. I have not slept well for half my life, but since emigrating its got so much worse. I'm now at the point that i hardly sleep at all. Along with the lack of sleep is a major uptick in my mood which is turning very depressed. I now contenplate wondering down to the bottom of my block in the hope of findinging a snake, or going for a major tumble in the car. I'm so fed up with life. I don't have family or friends here and as i tell my wife a few bits about how i feel, she pulls away from me making me more and more isolated. It's not my wifes fault as she had a traumatic childhoom, bit needless to say, that doesn't help me. Anyway if anyone fancies a chat, get in touch. Cheers. Tom

I'm New.... Anxiety Setbacks

replies: 7

Hello All, I have joined this platform as a way to hopefully obtain some help with anxiety set backs. I've had anxiety for 10 years, I am 30, I am currently enduring high levels of physical symptoms which have not been this bad for some time. I've hit a rock bottom again. I'm at the paranoid point of questioning the symptoms eventhough I know them, havent left the house for days, avoiding social events, worrying about going to work. I have had the same job for 12 years. Childcare, almost finished my degree in Kinder Teaching. At the moment I'm on hold, I can't cope, I can't move forward. My main physical symptoms is foggy brain, severe disorientation and can barely put one foot in front of the other. I just want to sleep and forget the world for a while.

stuck in my head

replies: 2

I have been searching the internet for years almost to try and find a post or a blog or a forum about thoughts I have and insecurities. Everything i come across seems to be the same around depression, wanting to end it, seeing everything negatively, feeling numb. I only relate to some for a portion of time. I am a happy person anyone would agree with me but something i have struggled for so long with is being stuck in my own head. I struggle with the every person insecurities about body image and if my personality is fun and lovable. But i also have a terrifying fear that my younger sister (J) is becoming prettier than me, cooler than me, funnier than me, juvenile stupid things yes. I have watched all my sisters grow up and surpasss me in beauty and the ability to take control of their lives, weight, maturity and motivation. I am still stuck back here. I feel left behind. I used to relate to (J) on body issues and lacking motivation but she's hit 16 and already moved on. I feel myself becoming more and more defensive around her, needing to put her down to make myself feel better and make myself feel like she hasn't left me behind. I am definitely the least prettiest of my family. Compared to my supermodel 3 sisters i am an average looking person i mean even compared to anyone else nothing stands out about me i am so average i look at myself in the mirror and i just feel so bored with my face. my older sister will always say "oh (j) you could be a model" or "(younest sister) you are going to be the hottest in the family", stupid things but i push it off with humour when it makes me feel so shit and out of place in the family. I am rapidly gaining weight and feeling worse and worse about myself as i get older. My sister and i used to bully each other with humour and we wouldn't be hurt by it because we were both in the same boat but now as (J) becomes prettier and more mature i feel so intimidated by her i don't feel older than her at all i feel pushed down by her even with her nicest words towards me. What terrifies me the most above all of this is that i write this and the perception of what is being written by others is another insecure girl. My worst fear is that all of this only exists in my head, not in the sense that it isnt real but that only i can understand the true pain being felt and no matter how hard i search for someone to really understand, i will never find them. i have other problems but this one is on my mind at the moment

I need help please

replies: 11

Hi, I'm a late-30s woman living alone. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and currently being assessed for a personality disorder. No partner, no close friends. I am on medication and regularly seeing the doctor and psychologist. I've ... View more

I thought I had beaten depression

replies: 2

Hi All, I really appreciate anyone taking the time to read this, just the idea that someone is listening is comforting. I had a battle with depression a few years ago and thought I was over it, I hadn't felt this sadness and anxiety until now. I had lost a number of family members to a natural disasters overseas, but the deaths that hit me hardest were the 3, 5 and 7 year old nephews who I had helped raise and saw as younger brothers. I was 21 at the time and the day I got the news was the week of their birthdays, I had kept their presents ever since. I felt so sad, anxious and unsure, it was easily the worst time of my life, but with the support of the one councillor I felt comfortable with, and some medication I got through it. Last week my house was broken into and I lost everything, but I only cared about those presents. I am having those negative thoughts again about myself simply not being good enough. I am feeling the survivor's guilt again and I am scared, it almost ruined me last time and I don't know where to turn too. I have a loving family and extremely close friends but I don't think they can understand and I like to keep my things private. I know they will help but I feel like a burden, I can't help it. I find the local councillors unreliable and very patronising so I can't turn to them, hence why I am on here. Maybe I need to vent, I just don't know. I feel really okay with my friends in a social environment, but the second I am alone those thoughts come back, why should I live and they not, why am I so lucky? I should stress I am not suicidal in the slightest but the guilt is messing with me and I don't know who to turn to, so I thought I'd see the community here. Thanks for listening.

First timer - Stuck in a rut

replies: 2

Hi, I have had anxiety / depression for about 2 years now, associated with a difficult relationship with my boss. I have been on medication since being diagnosed, and although this helps me keep going to work, I am still very up and down in my emotional life. At the moment I am feeling quite anxious / angry / despondent, but mostly feel that I am stuck in a rut - getting no joy out of life and just going through the motions. I have stopped looking after myself in terms of exercise and eating, and although I usually get a bit slack in winter, I can't be bothered doing anything to change my thinking or approach to life. I have a supportive family and colleagues and a couple of friends, but I have a nagging suspicion that the way I choose to be for these people is part of the issue, and that I am not really being my try self - but I don't know what that is anymore. I have also had some counselling (CBT) and although I can identify some of the ways I think "erroneously" it does not change my reality very much. I am scared about trying to get a new job as I am in my late 50's and want to retire in a year (as agreed with my wife). But I think I have some concerns about not working too, as I love the challenge of my work - I just want to do less of it, and work for someone who respects / appreciates me. I see that others on the forum have similar issues, so I know I am not alone. Currently I am just trying to pace myself and hope that things will get better as the weather warms up and a few of the current work / life stressful issues are solved. So I guess I am looking for ideas on how to start to get better again. Thanks.

1st timer-where do i begin?

replies: 1

HI. Unsure if I should be here and don't know how it works really. Feeling overwhelmed/worthless on a daily level. Married man 15+ yrs (2nd time), 2 kids, seem stuck in a rut. I seem to always see the negative in everything before the positive. I guess I'm a moody stubborn old fart. Things have not been going well lately at home and work. I feel embarrassed and ashamed at things happening to me recently. I am smart enough to realise I have depression but and most likely OCD but can't bring myself to go see my GP or seek any help. I have used work counselling previously but the generic responses I got did not help my personal circumstances in terms of daily changes. I'm financially crippled due to child support of kids from 1st broken marriage and have NO friends at all. I am very socially withdrawn and only know work colleagues. Each day seems a struggle but I don't see things changing. I'm at a loss what to do.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Our family has been affected by someone who has narcissist traits. replies: 5

Newbie replies: 2

New to Beyond Blue but not new to life replies: 6

I need of a friend. God that sounds needy! replies: 7

I'm New.... Anxiety Setbacks replies: 7

stuck in my head replies: 2

I need help please replies: 11

I thought I had beaten depression replies: 2

First timer - Stuck in a rut replies: 2

1st timer-where do i begin? replies: 1