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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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My brother is a DV perpetrator and our mum died last year

replies: 1

Hi folks, Thanks for including me here. I am the middle of 5 adult children in our family and our mum passed away last August after 8 weeks of being in hospital. She was just shy of her 90th birthday and had increasing health issues over many years. However, she recovered so many times that it was still a shock to us. My 87-year-old dad is understandably still dealing with the grief, as we all are. My brother has always had a hot temper and has been an undiagnosed alcoholic for years but he still has a good side mixed up with all that. Mum would forgive him anything but the rest of us were getting sick of his moodiness and outbursts. He and his (now former) partner have 2 beautiful toddlers that we all love. They had a rocky relationship, though, and I could see he could be quite nasty to her at times. I asked her if she wanted help several times but she said she could handle it so I respected her decision. While we all struggled with grief after Mum died, he just didn't know how to deal with it and kept to himself a lot. Then, in early January, he was at home with his partner and kids when they got into an awful argument. He was drunk and he lashed out, She was also holding her 1-year-old daughter at the time. She called the police and then my sister who lived nearby. My sister came and got her and the kids while the police took my brother away. The police released him later that night but he needed a safe place to go that wasn't near his family or their place. I went to get him but I only did it because I knew our mum would have wanted that. His partner has been amazing and she resumed contact with him as she still wanted him to see his kids. My husband and I are helping her any way we can and she has received a lot of support through DV agencies. He also had to join a 20-week men's behaviour program and he gave up alcohol cold-turkey. My sister and dad agreed he could live at their place but it's put a huge strain on our family relationships. I can't find much info on mental health support for family members of perpetrators so that's why I'm here. Has anyone else here had to go through this? I can also offer something back to this community. I live with chronic health conditions including autoimmune arthritis and I now help others going through similar issues so I might be able to offer support to people like me here.

Please someone help

replies: 1

Hello there. I don't really know where to start or what to say, so I guess I will just type and let it flow. I know I have issues. The thing is, nobody wants to help. My family history with mental health is complicated - both my parents have spent time in a mental health facility. They are both heavily medicated and will be the rest of their lives. So there is more than likely genetics at play. I don't doubt I'm depressed with imposter syndrome and all that thrown in, but things are getting more and more difficult. It's around this time every year my self-destructive side comes out. In 2021, I embarked on an affair which ended my marriage, in 2022 I attempted suicide (twice) and in 2023 I caused a substantial rift in my family. I'm just waiting for what 2024 will bring. I'm self employed, and the past few weeks have just been kick in the balls after kick in the balls. With so few staff, I can't afford to take the time off. My sleep is terrible. I am at most getting three hours sleep per night and just spend the rest of the time staring in to the void. My GPs are not much use - Just more of the anti-depressants with the sedative side effects. Which work for a few weeks, then back to usual and just an increase in dose. I'm now at the maximum dose, and the doctors won't even prescribe me one round of sleeping pills. I just want a good nights rest. I am sceptical of psychologists - I have been raped/blackmailed by one (see 2021's destructive behaviour), and being told to change my thinking just isn't the solution. I try, but saying business will be okay tomorrow or I will sleep tomorrow and think happy thoughts just doesn't work. Maybe there is even some PTSD or something at play here? One of the GPs I have seen got me a referral to a psychiatrist - but they didn't deem my case interesting/important enough to take on. It feels like the end of my tether is fast approaching and I really don't know what to do anymore. My partner is fast loosing patience with my constant negativity, I am always tired and I struggle to talk to the doctors (Being a man, hard to talk about our mental health!). When my partner has come to help explain my moods and behaviour, one of the doctors just told her to be quiet or wait outside, and let me explain myself. I just don't know what to do. I don't know who can help. There is no interest in hobbies any more. I don't know who to talk to. It just feels like the night is getting darker and I don't know when the light will come back.

Feeling alone

replies: 4

I am 59 and feel all alone. I have no close family or friends. I suffer anxiety, panic-attacks, depression, to name a few. At am at a loss at what to do. I don’t drive, I don’t have a job, it is so hard to meet people to form a friendship. I am hoping by reaching out here, I may find others that know how I’m feeling and wouldn’t mind commenting.I do have a husband but it is hit and miss when it comes to him giving support. I feel like an old lady with nothing. Thank you for reading.

Hi there

replies: 2

Hi there, introducing myself hoping everyone are getting the most of this forum and can help me out too. Hoping I can help too.I'm a professional just under 50. I am a Latin man, born in a different country, complete different culture.I have a dream job, a gorgeous loving and caring intelligent and driven wife, 2 beautiful and intelligent young adult daughters and 2 dogs. All who I love to bits.I am here because I should have a perfect life, but I don't feel that way.I'm angry, impatient and intolerant at home. I feel neurotic at work and think I'm being discarded anytime soon, and I don't really feel like I have true friends - I must mistreat them all too!That's me.

Anyone had a similar dilemma and can offer a workable strategy?

replies: 6

Hello - I am a new user and have decided to come here to see if anyone has had a similar scenario and success. Context wise, I am early 50's, married for 15 years with 3 kids and have been blessed with a successful career and good income. We have just built a beautiful home and have a substantive mortgage on the usual 30 year term which is not ideal at my age given I will need to work until I am 80 to pay off the mortgage based on the current status quo. I don't want to come across as sounding self-fish as I know we are very lucky to have my job and a nice house, however my dilemma is my wife just won't get a job to contribute to paying off our high monthly expenses - my wife's response is I should look for a second job on weekends so we can have extra income - this is a huge red flag for me as she is effectively saying I don't care about your health, just as long as I don't have to work sort of attitude. I am already struggling mental health wise as I get zero down time and just seem to either work, or help my wife with house chores and attending to our kids. My wife has zero incapacities and spends her days sitting on the couch staring at her phone - scrolling through social media posts - at most she may place a load of washing on and cook 2-3 times per week, but that is it. The house is constantly messy, washing is constantly piled up, groceries are always behind etc. It is really starting to impact my mental health in that I have a wife who just has no oomph in life to do anything even when she clearly can see I will be working until I am 80, we are not moving forward financially (mortgage, private school fees - just staying afloat). I just don't understand how someone can choose to do not contribute financially to a family unit. Does anyone have any advice or strategy on how to gently support my wife to wake up and smell the roses per say? Whenever I try to broach the conversation her defence mechanism is to just yell at me. I am at a point where I just want to sell everything and buy a tiny home just so I am not faced with working until I am 80, and also showing her the impacts of her not contributing to the family, but why should I sacrifice what I have worked for because my wife just comes up with excuse after excuse as to why she can't get a job (and also impact the kids so they lose their nice home?) Appreciate any stories on anyone who has been in a similar situation!

Struggling to understand fairness

replies: 2

I’m a 23 year old female wanted to start a family. From a very young age I have always dreamed of being a mum when I am older. And now at this stage in my life I feel that starting this journey would be a good idea. I have been with my current partner for 5 years, he is 24 years old. I’m not entirely sure that I wanna keep going. I have been on my TTC ( trying to convince) journey for 2 years now and it just not getting anywhere nor am I seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. I have gone through all the tests I can and I have suggested all the things for my partner to do. But we just haven’t gotten anywhere. Every negative test or failed cycle just gets more and more difficult and I have no one to turn to that will understand how I feel. Because when I try to talk about my feelings I get shut down or told “it will happen if you stop stressing” and I’m honestly sick of it. I honestly don’t understand how or why this journey to becoming a mum is this hard

Unsure of myself

replies: 6

Hey, I’m feeling really lost, empty, anxious and unsure of myself. There have been lots of changes in my life over the past few years. I am trying to support my child who has mentalhealth issues and I am struggling to keep myself afloat at the same time. I don’t feel like I can share with anyone and haven’t yet been able to get a referral to see someone. I worry lots and feel like I’ve lost my voice with everything , likei don't matter and I am just here to be used by those around me. I am teary more often and I am losing the enjoyment I once had for activities. While I know plenty of what to do things to help with my mental health I still feel like the remedies are short lived and I am so profoundly impacted by those around me. I feel so alone.

Hello all

replies: 3

Hello my name is Maz and fro the past few months I have been experiencing insomnia and anxiety associated with that. It is a really isolating place to be in my opinion. I have recently begun a medication to help with sleep but I have tried lots of other things also to varying degrees of success. Acupuncture, Chinese medicine, hypnosis, counselling, meditation, kineseology and other herbal mixtures, CBD Oil. I would be interested in how other people how navigated this journey. I resigned from work and moved back home to be closer to family, I want to be myself again and would love to go back to work, thanks for reading

Just expressing

replies: 2

Depression for me has never been a major issue. It’s always been anxiety recently. The past seven months I’ve been experiencing family violence from my own mother who meant so much to me physically, emotionally and verbally. So I’ve been trying to push through and get my life together well that’s been happening but recently in the last month my boyfriend broke up with me and he was the one person I always had no matter what was always there for me. I spent every day for three months with him, to escape my house. I can’t eat without feeling sick. I’ve cried every day for A little over a month, I can’t sleep properly and I have no motivation. I can’t keep putting an effort into life when it keeps taking away the best things I had.

Where to turn ?

replies: 3

After 26 years of committed service, the recent show cause notice came as a profound shock, especially given the absence of any prior warnings. Over the years, I have dedicated myself to upholding the highest standards of network security, adapting to numerous changes in policies and technological advancements. The introduction of new rules has unexpectedly placed me in a challenging position where, despite my extensive experience and dedication, I find myself facing significant hurdles. Throughout this trying time, the unwavering support of my family has been my cornerstone, providing solace amidst the storm. As I navigate these turbulent waters, I remain committed to resolving this matter, drawing on both my professional acumen and the strength derived from those closest to me.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

My brother is a DV perpetrator and our mum died last year replies: 1

Please someone help replies: 1

Feeling alone replies: 4

Hi there replies: 2

Anyone had a similar dilemma and can offer a workable strategy? replies: 6

Struggling to understand fairness replies: 2

Unsure of myself replies: 6

Hello all replies: 3

Just expressing replies: 2

Where to turn ? replies: 3