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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Husband secretly visiting brothels for years

replies: 2

In July last year I found out that my husband has been visiting brothels. He left a website open on his phone and I came across it by accident. When I asked him about it, he strenuously denied anything had been going on. He even looked me square in the eyes and told me so. I was not satisfied with his answer (he’s always lying in work situations so I figured he’ll probably be lying to me because he’s proficient at it). I made him install a tracking app (after a similar incident in Jan where he had a condom wrapper stuck to his butt and he didn’t know how it got there - yes he gave a very long winded intricate excuse for that too). So, I check the app for the past month. I found one definite occasion where he went to a brotgel and two maybes. I confronted him about it, he STILL maintained his innocence until he just knew he was caught out. He also admitted to the Jan one at this point. I struggled over it, wanted to leave, but I didn’t (and still don’t) want the world to know what he’s done. Especially his kids. And if I divorced him, they would know. He’s a good dad, he’s a well respected boss and friend. So, we decided to reconcile. Anyway, I kept having thoughts about wanting to see if I could find any other occasions. Lie and behold, I found phone calls to brothels going back 8 YEARS. 8 whole years. He said he didn’t always go in, sometimes it was just calling then hanging up. I believe him because some calls are only a few seconds. But there are many many times where it seems that he did go in. I don’t know what to do now. I’m so angry and sad and hurt. I still don’t want his kids to know because they love their dad, so soooo much. And I don’t want him to be a broken man. I can’t imagine life without him, but more I worry for him. I think I would be fine - it would just take some getting used to. Any advice would be appreciated

Adjusting to retirement with a lazy husband

replies: 1

My husband is very lazy and has to be pushed to do anything. I’ve recently retired after working full time, while he has been on off work for the past few years through injury. I’m still doing the cooking, cleaning, housework and gardening, as I’ve always done. There has never been any help offered and now I’m beginning to resent this. What advice would you have for me to stop me just packing up and leaving him to it!

New Here and Hello

replies: 1

Currently I'm studying. I'm a parent of 3 children. 1 grandchild. I was diagnosed with PTSD, High Anxiety, Border line personality disorder, broken heart syndrome of losing a parent. and a few other things. I decided to join because i believe it woul... View more

Manup

replies: 1

Hi, I am a 46 yo struggling with alcohol addiction. I have been struggling with alcohol for around 24 years. I have dealt with addiction for my entire adult life. Starting with cigarettes and alcohol, then progressively venturing into more illicit drugs. Although the more illicit drugs are gone from my life alcohol seems to be my strongest vice. Perhaps because it is readily available everywhere and advertising is attractive. I have recently crashed my car, and lost my home. I now have to relocate my family to qld and start my life over again. I know I need help and am willing to listen to advice. This is the lowest I have ever felt in my life as it really affects my family life. I love my family and I need to stop all contact with alcohol.

My partner has an ice addiction

replies: 4

Hi, I am unsure where my post belongs, however, my partner has an ice addiction. We have been together a year and a half and a month ago I learned that he is using ice. His explanation was that he was an addict 8 years ago and now only uses casually. I don’t believe someone who was once an addict can use actually, but I don’t have any experience with drugs or addiction myself. I cannot get the night I found the drugs out of my mind, I went through so many emotions. Shock, confusion, sadness, anger, numbness and now a month on I feel worse. I have tried to continue to support him, however, it’s clear that I am devastated. I really try not to let it upset me, particularly in front of him but sometimes it bursts out of me and he doesn’t say anything at all, as if I’m not even there. He doesn’t console me, at times he has removed himself from the room I’m in and the past week he has turned on me and withdrawn completely, and ended our relationship.I feel as though I am being punished for finding the drugs and learning his secret and now that I have, he has discarded me. Finding the drugs and reliving that in my mind constantly was already difficult, and a few nights ago I went to see him and found him just after he had used. He had fallen asleep and when I walked in, his eyes were bloodshot red, the pipe was in front of him and he was hiding the ice behind his back. He’d been drooling. Again, I can’t get these images out of my head. I have never seen him like that before and he obviously never wanted me to see him like that. He looked ashamed and defeated, I sat with him, and it was so sad because he looked like he felt so alone. I am trying to put my own feelings aside, at least while with him, and concentrate on him but I worry that I am being overbearing. My thought is, I want to remind him that he is supported, loved and cared for and my hope is, if he feels that, he might not feel the need to use. I also know he won’t use if I’m with him, so I try and be around him as much as I can. Bringing him food etc, just so I know he’s had at least 1 meal. Are my actions healthy though. It feels like I am acting in desperation, I want to do something/anything to help him. I don’t know what to say or what to do right now. I looked at photos of us tonight, and yes I had noticed a change in his appearance but looking at our photos, it’s heartbreaking. He almost looks like a different person. He’s aged, lost weight, he looks so tired and worn out. I feel quite stupid for not knowing, his friends and family all knew about his past. Some friends have suspected he was using again, I’m the only one who was in the dark about this and I’m the one who has been the closest to him. I want to be there for him but I also cannot feel like this longterm.

Ms

replies: 4

Hi, this is my first time posting. A couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with BPD, complex PTSD, and anxiety. I’ve tried numerous medications, shrink sessions, and hypnotherapy to help manage my conditions, but so far, nothing has worked or I’ve ended up having night terrors and other negative side effects. No one knows of my conditions and for my whole like I have tried to fake it til I make it. But a couple of years ago I had two nervous break downs over work and have never recovered. Since the breakdowns I know I now present very differently to people who know me . I am extremely depressed, exhausted 24/7, have insomnia, brain fog, no focus, can’t deal with too much noise, lost my ability to speak up, self hate, have suicidal thoughts constantly-or more like I can’t wait until death comes for me, feelings of rage like I want to physically get in the ring with people, spend money I don’t have recklessly, binge eat and self sabotage all kinds of relationships. It feels like I’m constantly at war with my own mind, and I don’t know how to stop it. Apparently group sessions for CBT may help me. Can anyone out there relate or provide any insight the group therapy???

-LE-

replies: 3

Hello everyone, Im an optimist who has been clinically depressed for 20years. (Interesting combination). I have finally become tired of the “sort it out” mentality and need to connect with other people struggling against this monster who understand it’s not a case of taking a pill and everything’s good, or you are weak if you are a depressant. Im fighting hard to stay me and keep alive. Reading this forum gave me the strength to engage so thank you to every one of you! I’ve turned 60 and life is NOT what I expected. It is controlled by so many other things, most not of my own making, so very frustrating and another reason why Im seeking reassurance. Done the expensive therapies and retreat, but I guess I know why I'mp depressed, just need some validation for being so and not rejection. While it’s not OK having it, it’s not a crime being a depressant. Nor do I feel it fair to be judged and found wanting because I have it, particularly when the causes are NOT of my making; toxic in-laws, a car accident I didn’t cause, neuralgia, caring for 2x90+ parents with dementia, etc. Not wanting to make my introduction a litany of whinging, I am also incredibly lucky living in an old Queenslander with a dog, cat, five chickens and a husband who I love dearly but he just does NOT get this whole depression thing and cannot understand why Im not stronger and “just sort it out”. I have two children both now in their 30s, both have left home, both single, both navigating their way through life. Reading your posts my heart bleeds for so many of you younger ones as I fully understand what you are going through and wish I could help, give you a big hug and tell you how wonderful you all are. Well, that’s the most I’ve spoken about me in ages. Hope to be able to chat soon. Big smiles and best wishes to you all. LE

Hello 👋

replies: 2

Hi everyone. I’m new here and am going through a tough time right now. It’s largely related to a toxic workplace but I’m also holding quite a lot outside of that. Single parenting, life after cancer, separation and general cost of living stuff (like most of us). I used to feel quite lucky but now I feel like it’s all downhill from here. Hoping reaching out can be one of the ways I can find hope again.

Need Advice on What to Do Next

replies: 2

Hi, this is the first time I’ve ever actually reached out for support. I heard online that this might be a good place to start. I’m 19 and somewhat in university, kind of. I don’t really know how to ask for help, but I know I need it. I’m not sure if I’m dealing with burnout, emotional exhaustion, or something else entirely. The past year has been a lot. In April last year, I lost my dad to cancer. I don’t really know how to grieve, or even if I’m still grieving. I was close to him, but I’ve had so much else going on that I feel like I just pushed my emotions aside. Last year, I started my first year at university and took four classes. When my dad passed away, I thought throwing myself into study would help, but it didn’t, I failed all four units. I didn’t want my family or friends to worry, so I told them I was doing fine. In semester two, I retook two of those units but still failed one. Now, this semester, I’ve decided to take a break from university to try and fix myself. But I haven’t told anyone. I’ve been pretending I’m still studying. I’ve been feeling lost and confused. I don’t know what to do. I keep telling my family and friends I’m fine, that I’m doing well, but inside, I feel like I’m falling apart. I smile and laugh, but it hurts. My sleep is a mess, and even though I’ve been trying to get myself together, I’m struggling. I came to this website for advice or support because I don’t know where else to turn.

Introducing myself

replies: 4

Hi, I'm Mark and I'm 66. I have been married for 44 years with 3 children and 9 grandchildren. I have been retired for almost four years, my wife still works albeit part time. I've experienced depression a few times over the years. One episode about 25 years ago was pretty bad, but I got through it with professional help I learned to recognize the signs that I am slipping into depression again and have been able to reduce the severity and duration of the occurrences. Lately though, it's been getting tougher, the negative emotions are stronger and persistent. I'm hoping i can find some support here

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Husband secretly visiting brothels for years replies: 2

Adjusting to retirement with a lazy husband replies: 1

New Here and Hello replies: 1

Manup replies: 1

My partner has an ice addiction replies: 4

Ms replies: 4

-LE- replies: 3

Hello 👋 replies: 2

Need Advice on What to Do Next replies: 2

Introducing myself replies: 4