Anxious, depressed, feeling lost

[Kpatch779]

I have been struggling more and more since i was made redundant over a month ago
Slowly try to get possitive that will get a job whatever that might be, to which i did and once again it became unstable hrs drop to randomly be called at odd hrs and after it i became sick with fevers and coughing, sneezing away, headaches continuously

I became more tired,decided that need it to get tested for Covid-19 the possibility of having it didn't help my anxiety and knowing i have nothing in control, started to isolate more internally plus doing the right thing so in case have it not transmitting to my partner and kid's,meantimw had to stop working once again

2 day's later i get results that came back negative, weeks went by and still have headaches flu and so onbeen tested again to check my iron levels as it been lpw previously

My partner and step son been supportive but i have been edge, irritated, short, distant and not present at all.

Feel at a loss, waiting to get psychiatrist evaluation and continue to see psychologist

I do feel ashamed for my behaviour and been angry. Any advice would appreciated

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Kpatch779,

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear of your struggle with finding employment. Things are so difficult right now and developing flu like symptoms on top of this sounds really really hard. I am glad to hear that you have gone for tests and they have come back negative. I wonder if you received your iron test results back as yet? Assuming you have been to a GP, have you had a physical exam or just the COVID tests? Sometimes when you are feeling run down, there can be other things going on in your body like a lack of vitamin so its always good to get checked and seek advise from your doctor.

Your struggles with symptoms of worry, irritability and feeling distant sound difficult for you and I am so glad to hear that you being supported by a psychologist and soon, a psychiatrist. When is your next appointment?

When symptoms are really strong, people often feel guilty about how they are behaving when really, it is not how they want to behave, but are just feeling so low. It is frustrating when you are not feeling well and many people develop feelings of anger. You are not alone.

I wonder if you get an opportunity to discuss with your family on how you're going very often? Sometimes, having a daily chat can help - even if its just a quick check in each morning. Another thing that can be helpful is to write down things that you want to achieve each day that might help you to feel better and ask you family to help you work towards meeting those goals. It could be a really simple list like: go for a short walk, take a nap, or do something together as a family. Sometimes the little things can really help you to connect with your family so they are working with you on your healing journey. If you enjoy using technology, an app called Daylio can help you track your mood and remind you to do things you identify that make you feel better.

If you feel like you just want to have a chat and get some of these feelings off your chest, don't hesitate to reach out to the Beyond Blue support number on 1300 22 4636 as this can be quite a relief even if it is only short term.

The forum is a safe and supportive place and if it feels right, please continue to share and post. We are listening.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn

[mocha delight]

Hi kpatch779 just wanted to say welcome and I wish I could help more but I can’t as despite being on antidepressants (I’m new to having antidepressants or was as previously beforehand I’d never had them before) I’ve not been diagnosed with anything yet but my gp strongly believes I do have depression and I started on the antidepressants the week before covid 19 was first mentioned.

[Kpatch779]

Had my psychiatrist appointment and He basically said
Sounds like i lost myself and giving up on everything.

To which if am honest enough, yes that's how i feel

The situation is worst 2 weeks ago had a massive argument with my partner and today recently been arguing as we don't have the kids with us.

She's (my partner) happier and we seem alright when we are all together but when the not seems like no connection towards each other, am a physical person and she's more emotional

Currently we are not giving each other what we need and feel sense of distance

Although she's not all to blame but i feel a failure as a partner, co parent, friend

I am angry, sad, coming off one medication as psychiatric wants to put me on something else

Meanwhile i am a angry, not happy, ungrateful

I dislike myself immensely as wished all this would disappear, for the first time in a long time feel that i am in a real relationship but am destroying it and wished it would all go away over night.

[Kpatch779]

Hi Mocha and thank you for your kind word's

I try to hold on to some kind of hope to get on.

All i can say is don't give up as myself trying not to

[Mememo]

Hi, I’m in a similar situation. It sux. My partner doesn’t want to be physical with me at the moment and it really makes me feel bad about myself. Was just going to say that changing medicine Seemed to make my mental illness worse (only at the start), this is what I experienced but once my body adjusted I felt better. I called heaps of people including lifeline for support when this was happening. Try not to beat yourself up about being not good enough. You are what you are but you can always improve but I find if I’m like a kind coach to myself I achieve more. I think it’s amazing that you are feeling and talking about all of it.

[Kpatch779]

Thank you for the advice and gradually starting to open up and talk about it with some ease

[Rampant_Reality]

Hey mate, just checking in, see how you're doing?

[Kpatch779]

Hi,

Not to well managing and adjusting to new medication week 2 and to be honest is harder than i thought.

Changing diet, still have anger issues and trying to resolve meeeh

Will get thru

Hope you well