My name is Murray
just over a year ago I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD.
before long I felt my world coming down hill like a fast truck with no brakes.
i felt scared and fearful about everything. Would get pins and needles all over my body, a racing heart and couldn't sit still. Constantly felt like I was dying.
i couldn't tell from what was real to fiction. My brain racing with so many unusual and terrible thoughts.
i would find myself staring at my hand or at a object and get seriously worked up over it and feel a panic attack come on.
i kept thinking how did I go from a completely happy person and care free to so full of anger and trying to control everything and worrying about everything.
it takes time but I believe something really does trigger it. Mine was the past . How I was treated as a person and how it hurt me so much with how people treated me and how they acted and there was so apology .
through my anxiety I really had to learn that it is completely normal to care for yourself and you don't have to be in control of anything apart from yourself.
you can't control your past or the people in it. And you can't control how people act or what is going on in the world. ITS NOT YOUR PROBLEM!! Because of these unfortunate events that happened in my past I felt like it was unfair and I had no control of what took place .
then I developed a attitude and mind set that I had to control everything. Such as making sure everyone was doing the right thing and doing it my way. How exhausting !!
I believe there are a lot of people that are hurt or get effected emotionally by what people have done to us or what people do that are wrong but we have to remember we are only in control of what we do and who we are as a person. We are all born for a reason.
And that's to live our life well and love ourselves and only be in control of what we can be in control and rest when things that we can't be in control of arise .
take the pressure of and don't define who you are because of what others have done to you or what the world is doing . It's not your problem or fault .
