Always anxious

[Archer19]

I’m feeling overwhelmed by my situation and relieved to open up about it.

Its weird to say this but I’m fairly new to mental illness (4 years) I’ve always had empathy towards anyone who has it, however I now know if you haven’t experienced it, you have absolutely no clue as to how debilitating it can become. I also now know that only kindness towards others will prevail in these circumstances.

I had severe injury at work which I had 2 surgeries, and the lack of emotional support is crushing. There are indeed systems in place and all looks legit on paper, they even have a mental health system in place but I’m a person and if you’re not listening to what I’m saying and acting on that then what’s the point.? They are Just ticking boxes. How can a Heath and Wellbeing Advisor help you while listening to the insurance company as well?

I confronted her about this among other issues and she said “I don’t know how to help you” The manipulations, micromanaging, mind games are beyond. All of this leads to self doubt, feeling like I’m a liar, constant negative thoughts, feeling like I’m going to loose everything because I’m the little person and they are a company.

I recently saw a program on SBS,it was titled “hurt at work”.

These stories were like mine. I felt sad, elated, angry, doubtful all at the same time. They looked worn out by the system with no choice but to hire a solicitor.

My anxiety and depression have been extreme at times, don’t know how I made it out some days or nights. I feel paranoid that I’m being watched and recorded all the time. Even though I’m doing things that I have been told I can do, or at least try to do. I feel like I’m doing something wrong by them. I’ve become a totally different person. And I don’t like myself, actually hate myself most of the time.

I always need convincing that I’m not doing anything wrong.

I can’t work much, nor do I want to where I’m at, and I feel a lot of it is psychological due to the way I was treated right after the injury, but I’m also in pain and scared to hurt myself further.

I feel like a failure and a liar, Before my injury, doing overtime helping different stations I was valued. That all goes away when you’re injured. And like it never existed.

They just don’t get it.

Calling Beyond Blue helps..

[Helarctus]

Hello Archer19,

Injuries at work can be rough, especially when they take a long time to recover from. A large portion of self-worth can come from our jobs and when we are unable to perform at our best it can be very harmful to our health. Businesses are getting better at helping staff with return to work, it is not perfect, it is improving.

Ticking the boxes so the metrics of the company/insurance is happy is a simplification and measurable way for the company/insurance to be accountable to its investors. You are in the best position to identify what you need to get back to working at full capacity, if you talk with your GP/physio/etc. about your injury and recovery, you may be able to identify alternate activities that you can do in the workplace that will not aggravate your injury. This may be an other existing role, a combination of part of two or more other roles or this may be an opportunity for a new role in your workplace.

Regards,

Helarctus

[Archer19]

Thanks for your reply.

It was on my return to work that my injury became worse. I made complaints to all the people I needed to and yet nothing changed. They pushed for more hours and didn’t change my position as no other department could support me. I became worse a ended up having surgery. Even on the day of the case conference the “health and well-being advisor “ asked my doctor for me to work more hours. Doctor said absolutely not, and reduced them prior to my surgery. The HWA was shocked and demanded a reason.. I tried to get HR number several times and was denied this.

I now work in a different store, same company, different position.

i couldn’t go back to where I was injured.

Im not perfect.. and have always tried to do the right thing. I have no faith in the system in place.

[Archer19]

Feeling especially low today. Started my depression medication 3 days ago.Woke up this morning completely heightened and full of self doubt and negative thoughts. I wrote in my journal, gave gratitude and wrote down prayers.

Went for a walk to burn some negative energy, arrived home then in tears shortly after.

Really trying to distract myself. The pain from my injury is flaring too.

Its all overwhelming today. Trying to find some light. Feel trapped and suffocated.

Waiting for anxiety meds to work today.

[Giraffe]

I’m sorry you are having such a rough day. I hope things look up for you soon.