alone forever?

[inferiore03]

I'm one of the most popular kids in my year I'm friends with everyone and can start a conversation with anyone yet somehow I always feel lonely no matter who I'm with and I feel as if a relationship is the only way for me to feel whole or not lonely but because i can't find someone to be in a relationship with coz no one will ever like me more then a friend I just end up feeling worthless and forever alone.

[Hope4tomorrow]

Hi Inferiore03,

Your post reminded me of my youth in education.

Looking back on my youth, I realised that it was myself that I should've lavished some of that care and kindness towards. For various reasons, my family dynamics being the biggest influencing factor, I was essentially taught that I wasn't worth as much as the rest of society. I wish that I chose to not listen to the hurtful things that my older brother said to me or others during my early schooling particularly. My high school years were different in that I started coming out of my shell and was a bit of a "social butterfly, could talk to many people of different types, had a big 18th birthday party and yet, I was known as "that nice guy".

Again, looking back, there was nothing wrong with that. Don't fret, there is a partner out there waiting to meet you when the time is right, who is going to really appreciate and worship those qualities that you think don't get the cool chicks... news flash, things are not always as they appear. Those "cool chicks" have their problems as well. As you continue growing through these important years, things will make so much more sense to you in time.

Being a decent person is the hard part of living in this modern society that we now live in. It's changed a lot in the last 15 years and not necessarily for the better, but we definitely have a say in how much of the dysfunction that we get involved with ie comparing ourselves to others and how they appear to be traveling on social media etc. Removing social media from my life a month ago myself has helped me to moreso get in touch with where I'm and take stock of things. Facebook is not the socially "encouraging" platform that it self-appraises itself as or prides itself on being. It can subconsciously encourage comparison with others and emotions of envy, depression, anxiety and obviously jealousy.

Learn to appreciate self-nurture yourself as the human being that you are. You sound like a good person who deserves a good life but only you can decide if you believe that. If you start aiming for this goal now, you won't have to start the mountainous climb later in life after a breakdown from neglecting to do this very thing.

keep kicking goals and be kind to yourself Inferiore03!

Kindest regards, Boots.

[inferiore03]

but I how do I learn to appreciate myself when I could not possibly hate myself more

[Lee lee 73]

Hello inferiore03,

I'm so so sorry to hear you're struggling. It's often that those of us who appear strong on the outside, struggle internally.

Would you consider calling the kids helpline 1800 55 1800. The age bracket goes up to 25yrs. It may help to start talking to someone inferiore03. It sounds like you really need to talk.

Try not to lose sight of the things you like to do, the things that make you happy. From there, you will start to like yourself again.

This is a great place to also write about how you're feeling. Hope to from you again soon xx

Lee lee73

[Hope4tomorrow]

Hi inferiore03,

Lee Lee 73's suggestion is a very good one. To speak to someone from Kids Helpline who would have a good understanding around the issues that you are seeking some help with would be a good idea.

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling the way that you are.

I guess that your question is a tricky one to answer, it could be a few things done at the same time that could show improvement in how you're feeling or how you see yourself as a person. For example, talking to someone with the knowledge to be able to help you ie a counsellor or psychologist, a little exercise and a healthy diet are all good places to start

Have you considered speaking to or have you spoken to your parents about how you are feeling about yourself at this time? Hopefully they are supportive of your feelings. The fact that you are asking questions is a really good start towards finding the solutions that you're seeking.

If your parents are supportive, how would you feel about asking them of they could possibly put you in touch with someone who you could talk to about the thoughts about yourself and feelings that you're having at this time?

It can be scary to think about talking to someone about your thoughts and feelings but rest assured, they have studied at university or other tertiary studies and only hope to be able to help give people another healthier way of seeing themselves and their lives.

I will be honest and say that I tried to see someone when I was in my mid teens, but I felt too scared to open up to the person that I was seeing. I now have enough life experience to know that I had nothing to be scared of. I wish sometimes that I had opened up to the person. It probably would've made my transition into adult life a lot easier. Because you are young, you are in a good position to get on top of the questions that you have.

In answer to your question, it is through speaking to someone qualified to help you with your questions, that the negative self-talk taking place within you can slowly be dismantled and then your thoughts can be developed into self-talk that is more positive in nature, for example when getting something wrong, instead of saying "I got that wrong, I'm stupid" you could say to yourself "I got that wrong but that's okay, practice makes perfect" which is not self putting-down but confidence building instead. Trying to change the way that you speak to yourself in your mind is where it will help you to see someone.

Kindest regards, Boots.