A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[Quercus]

Hehe thanks PamelaR (for your answer and the compliment) 😊

By the way I saw your posts in the happy memories thread about crocodiles and it made me laugh... I'm glad you survived to tell the story too (to anyone reading check it out if you need a smile... It's in the staying well section).

Hmm that's a thought....If you were chatting to a new member and recommending a thread... Which would it be?

[PamelaR]

Ohhhh, that's a hard one Nat.

I've a range of diverse interests and needs. So it depends on what one's looking for.

I'm a positive person, generally with a lot of energy, and love to have fun. So I'd really recommend the Happy Memories Thread, the Staying Well and the Pets thread.

However, I realise people come here for more serious reasons (which I did in the first place). So I must say I'd recommend the Strategies for PTSD (since I started it too. LOL). There is of course other very interesting threads happening in numerous forums.

My suggestion for newbies is to troll through some of the forums to find the one that suits your needs, wants and likes.

[Bethie]

Hi

I suppose for me it comes down to remembering how many times i was all alone with my MH and life problems then being able to come here and find out that hey I wasnt Robin StCruiso there are others out there and face the same same things and its not the end of the world. Just the start of a journey in my life.

Being able to help give others just a bit of that feeling and take away some of the stress even for just a few minutes like was done and does for me is a special moment in life.

[Quercus]

Hi Sapphire* and yep this thread is open to everyone... The more the merrier. So welcome 😊.

I'm sure your post wasn't there yesterday but sorry for the delayed reply anyway.

I love your post. Love it. It is worth celebrating. The first time you post to support another is a really truly important moment. Congratulations 😊.

I want to reassure you that your voice is just right how it is. Noone has the right thing to say. And the beauty is we don't have to. We just give from our own experiences. Sometimes that will really resonate with another person and sometimes not.

Intrude? Nah Sapphire. If you read Sophie_Ms FAQ thread there is no wrong place to post. Nowhere off limits.

Sometimes the person who began a thread might not click with what you wrote or even get annoyed but that is the joy of moderation. If anyone gets nasty there consequences because we don't work like that here. And we support eachother. If a thread makes you uncomfortable or intimidated you can report the post.

As to saying the wrong thing... Welcome to the foot in mouth club 😊. Conflict happens. It just does. And I can tell you from experience not to let that put you off trying to help because others will support you and there is a solid team of moderators and the forum manager working hard behind the scenes. These forums are safe. They have to be otherwise noone would join.

So next time you want to support another and doubt yourself... Think of how it feels to get a response...

One reply alone is fantastic. But two or three or four or five gives you more members to have that initial conversation with. It gives you multiple contacts so you see familiar names about and feel good.

It's the difference between walking into a crowded party and seeing a single familiar face and feeling like you don't belong as you keep to a corner. Or seeing many familiar faces as you walk through the room and somehow the crowd no longer seems quite so intimidating.

Good on you Sapphire* and most of all... Thank you for keeping on reaching out. Have you tried sharing a happy memory on Croix's "store your happy memory" thread?

❤ Nat

[Sapphire_]

Thanks Quercus.

Sorry i havent replied until now. I have been in a bad place and am just coming back from it now thankfully.

I havent checked out the happy memories thread yet since i was so low i didnt think i could remember any. I will definitely check it out and maybe even post something. Thanks for mentioning it.

I am starting to post more on other threads, a lil more each time i do. I still have a feeling of intruding onto other posts though but i guess after a while that will change. Youve encouraged or maybe inspired me to post more. 😊

❤ Sapphire xx

[startingnew]

its so good seeing you around on other threads now Sapphire, i think Quercus (Nat) covered well everything! it doesnt really matter of the content, a pop in to say your hearing them can make a big difference

[Sapphire_]

Thanks SN ❤

[quirkywords]

Saphire

I can understand by what you mean about intruding on established posts as I felt like that and still do at times.

My threads Be yourself and Talking to to your inner critic welcome everyone. So if you feel like it drop in and say hi.

I enjoy your posts as you are honest and write clearly.

Thanks Nat for this thread

Quirky

[startingnew]

hi guys

it would be much appreciated if someone could help out a newbie here, i commented however im abit out of my league.

the thread is called newbie-unsure and lost by Memphis3167

[Sapphire_]

Thanks Quirkywords.

I will be sure to check out your threads tomorrow. 😊

🌼 Sapphire.