A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[startingnew]

Hi Mary

Thats a great list and also thanks for responding about the emotional responses to threads.

Hope todays a good one for you ❤

[Chloe_M]

Hi Dools,

I don't have long but just quickly I would like to say that in your post I think that your idea is a very good one. We could all contribute to an information thread for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self harm and suicide (maybe) etc.

The sleep thread is a really good one, very informative. We could use more like that one.

Have a good day everyone 🙂

Chloe

[Tams20]

Thanks Mary, that’s a great list.

Tams x

[Quercus]

Woah.

Hello Mrs D and Tams and Mary and SN and Flick (long time no see 😊) and Chloe (congrats on your VC badge).

This is part of my issue I think. Mary mentioned sticking to threads with few replies. That's me too. Even though I created this thread I find the role of caretaker exhausting. And long threads NEED a caretaker otherwise people get ignored and hurt.

Take this for example. I can't do individual posts. It's just beyond me right now. And condensing all of the things I would like to say means many of you might think I'm not acknowledging what you said.

This thread is about how to make every member feel welcome. And even here I fail at that.

The idea of dot points taken from long threads is valid. But doesn't BB do that already? Occasionally we see points made on the forums used in campaigns on the BB website and credited with the member's screen name. Same with studies carried out by BB.

I think the issue is that the forums, the website and blueVoices all operate as separate systems. So something written here that gives awesome advice may be used by BB and condensed exactly as Mrs D and Tams mentioned... But that feedback doesn't come back to the forums.

For example how many are aware that suggestions here along with feedback and brainstorming via blueVoices activities can be used to build to the many resources... Booklets, videos, ad campaigns designed by BB?

So in some ways the dot points have already been gathered for us and presented in booklet/page form on the website.

Just my thoughts. So many wonderful responses. Thank you all. I'm a bit of an angry toad today so I'm off to water my trees.

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I am a bit like you at times Quercus, I just can't get my head around individual responses. Hence the HI EVERYONE tag.

Hope you are feeling a little better after watering your trees!

There certainly is some great discussions happening here. Hopefully some of what has been shared will make a difference on the forum.

Cheers all from Dools

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Quercus, you're not a toad, nor have you failed. You are a wonderful person who I really admire, respect and feel close to. Nat you give so much of yourself. The life you have is 'very' full, kids, working, managing your home, being a CC. Wow. You are awesome!!

So let me take your hand (if that's okay). Let's just sit for a few moments (in a room without the kids or hubby) and breathe, listen to the music of your choice. Relax, drop the shoulders, the spine, the pelvis, feel the energy rising through your feet from the ground (that you just watered).

Sending you the best energy I can to lift you up Quercus.

Always in my thoughts

PamelaR

[demonblaster]

Hey Quercus and eveyone ☺

Honestly I think you do a great job replying to people. Thank you for your great work and help to so many 🌹

[Quercus]

Hi Mrs D and Pamela and DB,

Thanks very much. I'm not really upset just finally realising my limitations. I like the one on one replies. So in a thread like this as caretaker it takes more from me than replying separately to 5 new posts. We're all different I suppose.

Pamela you made me laugh. Being called a toad in our house is an affectionate term/insult. Toads are awesome! But they're also not as polished and sweet as frogs so they suit my little family and myself 🐸❤🐸.

I had a blast actually. It rained so miss 3 and I set the bonfires alight instead. Nothing like a good burn off. Smokes out the demons 😊. But thank you all.

Right... What makes you feel welcome?

Calling all new members!

Anyone reading and feeling intimidated because we all seem to know each other??

Don't despair please. We want to know about you too.

Anyone feel like saying hello and telling us old timer members how to keep the forums inclusive and welcoming?

[blondguy]

Hey Quercus

No one will get hurt or upset if you dont respond to replies on your thread

People understand that you are involved in answering new posters as well

You are doing fantastic work on the forums by helping out so many people in pain Quercus 🙂

I hope today is good to you

My kind thoughts and Hugs

Paul

[Tams20]

Oh dear... I feel bad now for starting this conversation....

Nat you do a fantastic job on these forums - you all do! I understand that you can’t be everywhere at once. I know even from my own ‘My Threads’ tab that it is hard to keep up with everything, your list must be huge!

Please understand that my comments were not meant to be a criticism of anyone’s personal commitment to the forums...

Tams x