60 years of living with depression

[jenms]

I have been living with depression for 60 years to varying degrees, much much worse lately, have had less than understanding workplace which is making it much worse

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm sorry to hear this.

I wrote a post a long time ago. Please Google it and just read the first post of that thread.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/they-just-won...

Are you on medication? Do you attend a GP on a regular basis? Do you have any hobbies or sport?

I'd love to know more.

Repost when you feel like it.

TonyWK

[jenms]

i have not had good mental health my whole life, long story short, violent alcoholic father, mother who told me when i was 10 that she had wanted an abortion, death of 8 year partner, two bouts of cancer. I know my logical brain says to move on from this but i honestly feel it is part of my dna. i have held down a job full time for 46 years but current employer is very non understanding. Have had one senior manager bully me constantly, another senior put a finger in my chest and tell me to "change my attitude", while the company was pushing 'speak up stay chatty' i spoke to wh&s rep about the above two and got told 'we know, we cant do anything due to the high level of their position'. I recently 'accidentally' told a colleague how i was feeling. It kind of just came out unexpectedly. That resulted in a home visit by 3 managers who then sent me a four page letter threatening disciplinary action for "upsetting" the person i had spoken to. I thought i could not go any lower but i was wrong!!

[JimmyT46]

Hey jenms,

Sorry to hear about ur struggles.

It might be time to think about a new job. I know that might be frightening but staying in a toxic environment is not helpful and makes depression worse.

If you can't afford financially to move quickly, make a plan and stage ur exit from ur workplace.

You say you've been working for a long time, another option might be to retire.

But don't isolate yourself, do some of the things you've always wanted to do, volunteer, join a bowls club, a support group, whatever motivates you and makes you feel better.

Australian workplaces can be very brutal, I'm a middle aged white male and you'd think I'd be OK with the stupid non-caring way that Aussies are toward each other but I also struggle with the sames issues you have mentioned.

Ur not alone, there r so many people to talk to.. start with GP and discuss a mental health plan. I've got my first appointment soon. I'm really looking forward to it.

Hope you r feeling better.

JT

[SleepingisWhenImHappy]

Wow 😯 Your short story is definitely rough, I’m so sorry to read all this

60 years is along time . I see someone say leave toxic work place .

I mean , that’s great advise , if it’s an easy option for you

I see it a bit different, I don’t think just because 😏 you struggle that you should just allow others that are in the wrong to drive you away. My take is if someone has poked there finger in your chest , that’s assault!! Australia have very strict laws about abuse,

I think people who find out that us people that suffer from mental illness are sometimes viewed as been weak or easy too take advantage off, I see it as , Sorry 😞 but in fact I don’t and refuse to be treated any differently. IF YOUR a got some support, I would get a hidden camera , to film and have prove of anyone touching or bullying you at work .
Then I would go to a lawyer and sue the company!!

this advice of mine is only if your really NOT wanting or even in the position to lose your job, It just makes my blood boiled that because you choose to trust someone with personal information and they have zero integrity and no respect or understanding of human rights.

I would most definitely have a note book 📕 Make sure you keep it with you , and log everything with time and dates . Maybe 🤔 if your been battling for 60 years do you need a review on your medication as they are improving all the time also

good luck 🤞🏼 ❤️🙏 Sending you love and good vibes 😎 Best of luck !!

[Scapegoated]

My take on what you told me is similar to my childhood that I am still
living. My mother is a narcissistic sociopath and my father is an
alcoholic who refuses to have the courage to take me away from her. I
believe what is going on in your workplace is that you are being
scapegoated. Once it happens in your home as a child it becomes a
pattern. Narcissism is rampant now and there is one in every
workplace. I would encourage you to work form home online or maybe
retire? You said you have been working non stop for 46 years wouldn't
that make you eligible for retirement? You need to be gentle with
yourself. Depression comes from being angry at ourselves and the
inability to fix a bad situation. Just be kind to yourself and I know
it is probably your way but do nOT blame yourself. Just know that it is
a pattern you cannot control. They are bullying you coming to your
home and threatening you. You are right to say it is toxic. If you are
not blaming yourself i think that is terrific. The more you stay in
the environment though the more it will wear down your knowledge of what
is right. I know because i am trapped with a narcissist at home now
and I am being gaslit as always. I think for your mental and physical
well being you should find other employment or retire. It is important
to get away from toxic people. Someone can say you can fight but you
really cannot win with a narcissist and bullying always involves a
narcissist stirring the pot. I wish you the best. I am writing a book
on scapegoating in narcissistic clans based on my experience growing up
in one.

[SleepingisWhenImHappy]

hi, I’m just wondering after reading your post ?

Depression comes from been angry at our selves ?

I have never heard of this been stated before , Just wondering is this a fact or just how you see it ,as I’m confused 🤔 I’m not angry at my self ? I’m trying to work out depression is your statement “Your views “ or is this factual evidence??

Because if it is factually correct I need to rethink everything?

kind Regards

ME ( no names allowed )