2nd and real intro

[B1982]

Hi,this is my first day on here as - I feel like a failure - a mother, wife, teachers assistant, can't keep friends cause I always put my foot in it - I gossip and I can't help myself I feel as though it will make me more friends, and I know it doesn't I hate it but can't help myself. I drink too much when I go out and say things to people that mean the most to me that make me want to run away and never face them again, but I have to. I smoke cigarettes and I don't want to, but I like doing it!! My parents have lost everything and are living with friends and the stress they have been through is like they are not here anymore, my kids don't really even care if they don't see them, don't miss them or care that when they do come around my parents are very vacant and don't listen....

im very all over the place emotionally don't really know who to talk to or where to go...

Thank you

[white knight]

Hi b1982 welcome,

A trip to chat with your GP could be a good first step.

Your picture you paint is likely not unlike some of us with depression but a correct diagnosis is needed

A little reading might help. Google these

Topic: depression, a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Your self confessed gossiping was a brave admission. Perhaps it is so as you desire acceptance? I'm aware that "foot in mouth" is a symptom of ADHD also. You might not have ADHD but we often have traces if one illness here or there.

For your loved ones sake and your own pursue it through professional consultation.

We are here to if needed. There is an immense amount of reading you can do.

Tony WK

[White_Rose]

Dear B1982

Hello and welcome. You sound very confused about what is happening in your life. You know what you are doing but unsure why or how to change. Overwhelmed sounds like the right word, would you agree. I think you like to please people but go about it the wrong way. I think if you went to see your GP it would prove helpful. I know smoking and drinking are social habits but you seem to be holding on to them like a lifeline. Do you feel these provide you with a way of escape from putting your foot in it and gossiping?

So chat with your doctor and find out if there are any physical problems before going on to the mental health stuff. Can you tell us a little about your family? Husband/partner/children. Are you helping your parents as it appears they are having a rough time as well?

This is a short post to let you know we are listening to you. Tell us a little more if you can. Not a problem if you feel you cannot. I will be waiting for your reply and we can talk some more. Is there anything in particular you would like to talk about?

Mary

[geoff]

hi B, I think that I replied to your first post and with this comment it opens up your situation a little more, which is good for us to know, because we can then help you further along.
Sometimes people keep talking when they have been drinking whether it's rational or whether it's a bit off target unfortunately this is something they don't know, but other people can pick this up and then decide whether or not they want to be friends with you, and by smoking does accentuate the problem.
It's terrible that your parents have lost everything so their world must feel as though it's been lost and what must be going through their mind would be devastating, and even though you may know why, there could be other factors that you don't and your parents probably would want to talk to you about, so this must be a lot of pressure going through your mind, and to block all of this out you need to not have one drink but several, I could understand the reason for doing this, but the problem will still be there the next day and perhaps it's time to visit your doctor. Geoff. x