What is best

[K_Ley]

So, I am currently receiving online therapy for my condition.  Whilst the therapist is great and we are getting on perfectly, I have to wonder if face to face therapy is better.  This is my 2nd online therapist as I wanted to talk about my self-harming thoughts with the first one and they said they would be ending the sessions as it was not professional to keep going in that situation as they were not able to identify if something had triggered me.  I get that, but because of it I have not told this therapist any of that information.  Yes, I know I need to tell her, but I don't want to lose her and/or start all over again with a new therapist.  

[K_Ley]

no she is in the UK.  its through the betterhelp app.

[sunnyl20]

Hi K_Ley,

Finding a good therapist that you connect with can be difficult, so I do understand your hesitancy in telling her given your past experience. Is there anyone else that you feel able to talk to about this? For example, would you be able to talk to your GP? I think it is really important that you are able to let someone know given it does concern your safety. Would you feel open to doing this?

It is challenging to have the prospect of a therapist ending sessions due to safety risk - in face-to-face therapy my understanding is that the therapist has a responsibility to develop a safety plan with supports in place and to ensure adequate follow-up but I do not know whether this is the same with the betterhelp app.

Would it be a possibility to broach the topic of self-harm with your current therapist to gauge her response? 

[P12]

My experience is that face to face meetings are more effective than online meetings.

My experience is also that effective long term treatment requires a close connection between practitioner and individual. I think treatment will not fully work long term if you cannot discuss some topics with a practitioner. However, I have still found some benefit from taking a short term approach. I have found the process of obtaining a close connection very difficult. I have consulted roughly 10-11 different practitioners.

[K_Ley]

So in total shock right now.  I finally had the courage to go to the GP for a mental health treatment plan.  Through the course of the consultation, I was asked to complete a questionnaire regarding my current state.  I left the doctor being told that I was suffering moderately severe depression, extremely severe anxiety, and severe stress.   And as a result of recent self-harm would need to be re-assessed monthly for the next six months.  My whole world is spinning right now.  I never dreamed that I was suffering so much.  Yet those around me saw it.  Why was I so oblivious.  Why didn't i get help sooner.  

[therising]

Hi K_Ley

It's good to hear that you now having a starting point which to work from, thanks to those who led you to see your GP. So, now it's a matter of 'Where to go from here?'. A solid circle of people who can support and guide you is absolutely key. Your doctor, family members and friends is a good start. Adding people to the circle as you go along can be about looking out for who works best in that circle. A good psychologist vs a mediocre one, for example, a worker at your local cafe who always leads you to smile each day or at least once a week, someone on YouTube perhaps that often provides much needed revelations, no matter who they are they'll make some difference (big or small). It becomes a circle of people who raise you in a variety of ways (raising your spirits, consciousness/awareness, level of optimism and enthusiasm, energy levels etc etc).

I think unless we're familiar with the signs, we just don't see it coming (a period of depression, anxiety or something else that deeply challenges us). Unless we can say 'I know this feeling' or 'I know where this is leading, based on past experience' it's not always obvious. Even people who are experienced with mental health challenges don't always recognise the lead up at times. I think sometimes inner dialogue can play a part in that. We can be telling our self, it's not as bad as it seems' or 'If I just do this or that everything will be okay'. Then the inner critic can start of creep in, more and more over the passing days or weeks, 'You're hopeless. Everyone else can cope. You're just weak'. Sometimes it can sound more like the people pleaser in us, 'It doesn't matter if you don't have enough time and you've got a stack of things on your plate, you have to serve that person (you have to please)'. So, as the inner critic starts to gradually become depressing and the people pleaser in us demands that we take on so much to the point where it's anxiety inducing, things really start to escalate. The lead up can all be so subtle.

As you set out to become more conscious of your triggers, your feelings, your inner dialogue and so much more, I wish you many revelations on you path, ones that bring you a sense of light and inspiration.❤️

[smallwolf]

'm really sorry to hear about your recent experience, but please know that you've taken a courageous and crucial step by seeking help. Mental health struggles can be difficult to recognize in ourselves, and it's common for those around us to notice the signs before we do.

The important thing is that you've now started your journey towards healing and recovery. Try not to dwell on why you didn't seek help sooner; focus on the fact that you are now taking action to improve your mental well-being. Small steps... and one day at a time. Listening ...