Unsure if my Psychologist isn't the right fit me or I just don't like the advice

[Kath-R-Tick]

Hi group,

After struggling a long time I went and saw my GP for help. They have started me on SSRI's for anxiety and depression and gave me a referral to see a psychologist. Many I that were suggested to me were not accepting new patients and I couldn't find a whole lot of information/reviews about many of them, but either way I was turned away by many of the more reputable places. In the end I found a lady and had the initial consult. It went alright. We touched on some things but didn't really probe deeper, she gave me some CBT advice and booked the next session.

I wasn't sure what to expect. We didn't really click so to speak but I thought I'd give it another go. This last session, I felt like I wasn't really understood. I feel overly emotional, tearing up at farewells for people I don't know when their boss says a few generic nice words, she says she thinks it's actually sweet and asked why I think it's a problem. I tried to explain that I couldn't find the source of the emotion and it was kinda embarrassing to cry at work or in public for things that even people who are related to the events aren't sad about. I mentioned that often when things are happy I cry and feel sad, no happy tears. After some discussion she sort of state I could just drug myself to not have feelings if that's what I really wanted, otherwise being sad is just something I would have to learn to cope with and eventually this phase will pass.

I feel like she didn't understand what I want to achieve, but I'm not sure if I'm just reacting to being told that I'm probably going to cry sadly about things uncontrollably and it's significantly bothers me, or if I really was misunderstood and maybe I should find help elsewhere?

She's a lovely person, but I don't know if she really gets me, and as I am I don't know how to even approach the question or say maybe she's not for me and let her know that? What if she feels bad? I don't want to make her feel like she's doing a bad job if she isn't...

[quirkywords]

Kath,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for starting this discussion.

It is often difficult trying to create a relationship with a psychologist.

Have you communicated with the psychologist about how you feel. ?

Sometimes you can write something down and read from it or show it to your psychologist .You have a right to explain what you expect from a session. Sometimes things can take time but if you feel the session is not going the way you want, you should communicate how you feel.

If you feel she does not understand you may want to find someone who is experienced in areas you are interested.

Quirky

[blondguy]

Hello Kath-R-Tick

Welcome to the forums and kudos to you for having the courage to post too!

I understand the frustration of finding a helpful psychologist. I used to have chronic anxiety followed by depression and it was a horrible place to be in.

Feeling like we are not understood and even crying is an indicator that you have an excellent counsellor. It took me a while to understand why the box of tissues was on the coffee table in front of me

Its only from my own experience that we need a proactive counsellor that takes us out of our 'comfort zone' .....only so they can help us more effectively

You are doing very well Kath-R-Tick having such a positive focus on your health!

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post...I really hope you can stick around the forums...if and when you wish!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Kath-R-Tick]

Thanks for the feedback and advice. I'm going to try formulate a way to tell her how I'm feeling.

I don't so much mind being pushed out of my comfort zone, I just feel like I want to look deeper and see if I can find something like the source of some of these feelings, and it's alright if that hurts but I just don't understand what's going on and I'd like to be able to decipher the feeling? I know sometimes things are irrational, but even so I'm not sure I have the emotional intelligence to interrogate those feelings so I can accept them or work with them.

I'm going to make sure I communicate that up front next session so I can articulate what I am trying to improve. Not sure if I'm barking up the wrong tree so to speak, but at least we can talk about the expectation.

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Kath-R-Tick,

It sounds like you have a great plan up your sleeve. So often we expect psychologists and other people to know exactly what to do. As a health professional, working this out and getting to know each other can take time. A great suggestion is to create some clear goals that you want out of the therapeutic relationship you are developing with your psychologist. Sometimes people don't do this and sessions focus on exploring for the first while. This is fine for some people, but other people want a more targeted approach and this is fine too. Establishing clear goals can help guide the sessions you have and hopefully you will be able to get the best out of your psychologist in supporting you towards reaching these goals.

Other times, we just don't gel with a health practitioner. This is okay too and after several sessions, if you are not feeling like the therapeutic relationship is going where you want it to, then you can try to find someone else who can.

Wishing you best,

Nurse Jenn

[blondguy]

Hi Kath-R-Tick

I do understand where you are coming from when you mentioned finding a reason(s) why we feel the way we do. Anxiety and depression can take some time (as per Nurse Jenn's post above) for us to heal

Its really good to have you on the forums with people who have actually experienced these horrible symptoms..Just a note...When I mentioned 'councellor' this doesnt always include a 'formal session' with a psychologist...we can also have excellent counsel from our GP too!

I hope you are having a good weekend 🙂

my kindest

Paul