Trusting a psychologist

[Guest_5809]

My child is currently under a early in life mental health service. I have been to see his psychologist several times. As working on parenting is just as important. I feel like I can trust this therapist and have told him of my fears of regressed sexual abuse which has been resurfaced due to my son being subjected to it as well. The therapist has told me he recommends I find another therapist to help deal with my baggage. He works one day privately elsewhere. I am not sure what to do. It is hard to find a therapist to trust. Any advice???

[Doolhof]

Hi Dottibluebell,

Firstly I am sorry to read that you have had to experience sexual abuse in your past and that your son has experienced it as well. It must be difficult for you to be assisting your son through his trauma as it brings up memories of your own.

I do realise it is difficult to see a psychologist, and especially to find one you feel you can trust, rely on and receive assistance from. Have you asked this psychologist why he feels you should see someone else? Does he believe that assisting you as well as your son could somehow cause difficulties? Can he recommend someone else for you to see?

If you do need to find a different psychologist and you are waiting for an appointment, I would like to encourage you to use other means of assistance in the mean time, like phone help lines or use the webchat here at Beyond Blue. Look in your local phone book or on the internet for people who can help you deal with the memories of the sexual abuse.

I hope you can find ways to help yourself as well as your son.

I hope a solution for therapy for you can be organised soon. From Mrs. Dools

[Guest_5809]

Thank you for the suggestions. It's such a difficult thing to do to open up AGAIN to someone else. I suppose that's why it's easier for our brain to repress. I am feeling really down about it all again. I had such good for healing but know I feel like I should have just shut up and not trusted again 

[Pixie15]

Hi Dottibluebell,

It is positive that you have found yourself able to open up to someone about your experiences. Your son's therapist might not be the appropriate person from what I have learnt. It may be better for family members to have a separate therapist. Refusing to accept you as a client actually just suggests your instincts were right in feeling that you can trust this person. 

Doolhof's suggestion of having this therapist recommend someone for you sounds like a positive step.

Grateful.

[Guest_5809]

I do agree to some extent. I have s tremendous fear of males. He is male and it's been hard to build up the trust and I had started to believe he is a good guy. I can't do it again with another male. In saying that I need to so I can learn they are ok people. As sad and immature as that all may sound. I do so much appreciate your support. 

[Guest_5809]

I do feel like an unbelievable loser worrying about this. I drink so j don't need to think. How low can you go? If I didn't wake up in the morning would it be so bad....... Hmmmmm no!!!


beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

 

[Doolhof]

Hi Bluebell,

I am going to leave off the Dotti bit, unless that is actually your name? If it is then I am sorry. I had a great Aunt Dotti.

It certainly sounds like you are in a bad place right now. Please reach out to someone for some help, keep in touch with us here, use a crisis care phone line, the Beyond Blue Webchat, anything, so you can continue to share your pain and hurt and confusion. Especially so if you are feeling so deeply depressed that harmful thoughts are coming into your head. They are thoughts Bluebell, they don't have to be there rattling around in your brain. Share them with others so people can help you.

It is great you feel so comfortable with your son's psychologist. Could you ask him if you can see him until he helps you find another person. Is there a lady you can visit instead of a guy? If there is only another guy available for therapy, is there a friend whom you could take with you into the first appointment, just until you get a feel for that guy? You don't have to ask the friend to stay the whole time.

I wish I had the answers for you Bluebell. Please know that I am thinking of you and really hope you call out to someone in person/through the phone/webchat. if life seems too much right now.

Thinking of you, from Mrs. Dools

[geoff]

dear Dotti, this whole situation is very sad for the both of you, and to reopen your story will be difficult, however there maybe some good points that come out of this.

What I would do is click under 'get support' at the top of the page where there is a list of doctors who are aligned with BB and specialise in all the different types of depression, hopefully there is a female doctor who can then recommend a female psychologist, fingers crossed.

This whole scenario is terrible, so I hope that this helps you. L Geoff .x