Tired of been depressed now - looking at ECT??

[Dave15]

Hi guys,

I am so sick and tired of being depressed now - almost 3 years, done the med's, done the therapy, tried self medicating, Yoga and Meditation.... I am starting to think there is no cure.. I am trying to line up some ECT with a psychologist soon - anyone comment on success of ECT therapy?

I have a few good days and then the smallest thing sets me rolling downhill - I can feel it surge through my bloodstream, and then it takes days to shrug.. now it is affecting my work... 

No-one seems to understand, and I cannot find a solution..

GP's seem to try push the SSRI's, mess up my brain, kill my sex life, and my psychologist cries with me, and looks happy to see me leave, mental health plan only has 10 visits, cant afford to pay the stupid rates they charge, need to hide the visits from work, and I cant stick to stuff, as my down days are really down, then I give up and think up reasons not to do the good stuff..... among other things, like running away and deserting normal life..

I try to protect my family from this and stay at work late and try to act happy at home to keep the ones I love around me, but my wife would sh..t herself if she knew how bad I really am..

I keep trying to protect people around me from myself, but cant go on anymore - there must be a cure..

Maybe a brain fry will help.. anyone been helped with ECT therapy?

[beingbyrne]

Oh Dave…stop being so hard on yourself and open up to your wife. She needs to know what's going on with you and let her support you. Didn't both of you say "in sickness and in health" when you got married?? I agree not to share it with your kids,  but a partner is a different story. You've got to overcome this together.

And also, you're not being honest in the marriage if you keep this from her.

Keep talking to us, looking forward hearing form you again

[Dave15]

Easier said than done - she still loves me and respects me - will she if I fall in a heap??

Think not!

[Girl_Anachronism]

Hi Dave,

ECT is serious decision to make but I have seen people's experience with it both good and bad on this site. There is a very useful post about ECT in the Community Forums section ( the first forum section after you click Forum at the top of this page)- a fellow sufferer named Juliet has been through ECT and is inviting anyone to ask any questions they like about the experience. Worth the read.

Take Care,

GA

[beingbyrne]

Dave I really know where you are coming form, it is scary to show weakness to someone you really don't want to lose and love so much. But she is your wife and she is supposed to love you unconditionally.She is supposed to love you in sickness and in health.

There is a saying I've heard some time ago: "If you love her set her free, if she comes back she's yours, if she doesn't, she never was yours"

And read Juliet's Post about ECT, it could be helpful to you

Take care of yourself and be true to yourself

I hope everything works out for you and your family, I feel for you

mrs byrne

[beingbyrne]

Ps: Juliet's story about ECT is on the "Community Board"

[Guest_3712]

Hi Dave,

Just a quick post. I have had ECT treatment and it really helped me.

I had 12 treatments in hospital and then about 1 year later had a further 8 as an outpatient,

As the others have suggested read Juliet's post- I can't add anything as she covered it comprehensively. Don 't know where you are but I had my treatments in Sydney.

All the best

Be kind to Yourself

Stressless

[Dave15]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for your support - that post by Juliet was great - it is the same clinic I am booked into on Friday - strange that ???

I am a bit more confident about it now, as there is some scary stuff on the net..

The wife thing - I know she will support me, but not sure about her agreeing with me doing the ECT thing, but need to first make up my own mind and then let her know what I have decided.

I have dragged then through the ringer in the last few years and it seems really unfair to tell them every thought I have, cause I feel so different on different days, and can have multiple mood swings in a few hours, and struggle to make descisions, as I dont trust my judgement anymore, so riding them emotionally is unfair on them, until I am sure, and they are the only "stable" part of my life at the moment.

I dont have friends, as I tend to annoy people with the mood swings and either feel or dont feel like them and it shows, so, over the past few years I have lost all my mates, so dont want to put extra pressure on my family to take that place - my wife is the most important person in the world to me and needs to be protected from my dramas..

I have some complicated life issues here and have had a bad run in the health department in the last few years, and it has taken its toll on my family..

I blacked out at work a few times for no reason, and after a few docs, shrink and a nuerologist, found out I had a heart rythym problem and had a pacemaker fitted.. ever since then I have felt like a second grade husband, employee and friend/person, and started getting depressed, sought councellining and went through 3 shrinks - not much choice here in Perth.. my mental health plan anly lasted a few months and I stopped therapy, fell off the bus again, and just upped and went looking for a natural solution.. told my HR manager, and he was cool - I took 40 days off work, and went on meditation and yopga retreats, and sought help from an Australian councellor in Bali - this helped and I returned to work in January.. needless to say, a month away from the dfamily to find myself went down like a ton of bricks.. and the fallout at work on my return is playing out now... I was overlooked for the annual bonus last month and that set me on a downward spiral again.. and this job is the only constant thing I have - I rely on it for my Life insurance, Private health and stuff like that, and pretend my colluges are my mates to fill that space in my life.. now it looks like its on a downward spiral too.. so have to get this ECT in before they let me go...

Pressure, pressure... not what I need now, and I cant tell my wife this, as she will just worry more..

My GP just keeps prescribing SSRI's and they put me in a really bad place.. like "adverse effects and foggy head and memory loss - I work in a high profile oil and gas place, in a responsible finacial role, and cant have this kind of issue with what I do, but it is real and it takes every ounce of effort just to get to work, then the emergency effort to stay here and do my job, which I thought at least that I was doing well, now they have got my replacement in and expecting me to train him..

...almost at breaking point, so need to do someting quickly, before all this plays itself out..

cheers,

Dave

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Dave,

I agree with GA that ECT needs careful consideration. To my knowledge it is a very effective treatment for some people with severe depression.

I had ECT (11 treatments in hospital) in 1991 as a last resort as I had very negative thoughts. It saved my life, making me happy for the first time in many months. The only side effect was some short term memory loss that made me forget most things at the time. HOWEVER, When I fell ill again about 18 months later, I had ECT (6 treatments as an outpatient) but this time there was no real improvement.
 

Hope this is helpful. Good luck with it.

Cheers
Henry

[beingbyrne]

Oh Dave….hugs from me…..It's not easy for you, but you know what…I think you will get through this, because you are doing the right thing by trying everything in your power to help yourself and you should be proud of that. Your family is most important to you and I respect you for that. There is nothing more attractive in a man than protectiveness towards his family. Your love for your wife and kids will give you strength, just hang in there.

So love yourself and be kind to your self…you deserve it….I promise

beingbyrne