Stoping medication, what is a normal withdrawal? has anyone has scuccess?

[Greyhound123]

I have been on SSRI's for OCD since i was about 15, and am currently 33. Although i am an anxious person, i have never been in a better position in my life now. i am more confident and generally happy, and don't get may OCD symptoms. About 9 months ago my wife convinced me I should stop taking my medication, i spoke with my psych and she had no issue with this, i tapered down and stopped. Then I had my in law's stay for a couple months (enough to drive anyone crazy I know!) and i went down hill so i started taking my medication again (though consultation with my psych). After they went home, we agreed to stop again and my psych supported this, that was 3 months ago, and although i have been a bit more anxious etc, there was no real issues.....until this week when i really went downhill for about 3 days, it is the worst i had felt in years.

I don't really want to go back on to my medication yet, as i feel i have never lived my life as an unmediated adult, and indeed i have been worse at other points in my life when i was on medication. What I am not sure of is if this is normal to go down hill 3 months after stopping? is this the medication or is this what my life will be like in an unmediated state?

Does anyone have any experience stopping medication after such a long time? or should i just resign myself to being medicated forever?

[geoff]

hi Greyhound, a post that I can identify with, as I also have OCD.
It appears that as once as you stop taking your medication everything begins to go downhill, that's true and if I miss out on taking my AD I go straight back into dark corner and feel terrible, but as once as I start taking them again, I pick up immediately.
You have to realise that we just can't take our AD when ever we want to, there're certainly not vitamen tablets, they are given to us for a specific reason and especially if they have helped you with your OCD and made you feel much better in more than one way, then I don't believe you should stop them.
We have had many other people who have posted that they too have been feeling great and then decided to stop taking their AD, but after a few days they go straight back to feeling awful.
It's the medication that is keeping you well, and if you do decide to stop again then your OCD will get worse.
If you have been seeing a psychologist then they aren't trained to know anything about medication, that's not their department so the decision should come from your doctor, and I would doubt that he/she would agree in stopping them.
As we all get older our body needs help to function properly, we aren't able to keep it up to working in a satisfactory way, so we need a bit of help, and that help means we need medication, and by taking any of this has no bearing to indicate a weakness, so please don't feel as though you can be medication free.
I will be on medication until the day I go, especally my AD.
Hope to hear back from you. Geoff.

[pipsy]

Hi Greyhound. Instead of viewing your medication as resigning yourself to taking it, try viewing it as a vitamin supplement. Everyone as they age requires vitamin supplements for hair loss, nails, teeth, skin. AD's can be viewed similarly, as a type of vitamin to enhance your outlook. I agree about the in-law situation, you possibly love them to bits, loving them and living with them, hard work. They have their routines, you and wife have yours. Look at your accomplishments while taking AD's, now look at the disadvantages. Don't look at the downside, look on the facts.

Lynda.

[Greyhound123]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the input, i think you guys are reiterating what my family has been saying, that i should just accept that i need it for life, i had a conversation with my father last night who for a long time did not want to accept that i had OCD or needed medication, and ironically now he is on SSRI's and thinks he should have a long time ago. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and will see what she thinks. I am one of those people who sometimes pushes themselves too far to try and do things. Nothing wrong with setting the bar high....just don't get too disappointed if you don't make it i guess.

[Greyhound123]

Hi guys just an update,

I am feeling really conflicted, I spoke to my doctor/psych on friday and she said I was ok, and that I don't need to go back on medication, but lately i really feel like i need to again. i have started obsessing over things so much that I can't study, i have an exam which makes me double stressed and I have been getting very grumpy. My issue is I know I need the medication, my mother and father told me i need it too. But my wife keeps saying she supports my decision....but then undermines it saying it is normal to be stressed, how she was stressed with her uni when she went,etc. I feel I have come so far, that I don't want to take it, but I feel that logically i need it. I went and got a box on my way home from boxing tonight (I still have the script), with the full intention of starting, came home , my wife found it i had a discussion with her and had to explain bluntly that this is not about her and how great she is, it is about me, and how i need it to fully perform and lead a normal life. But some part of me is so deeply dissapointed in myself for giving in, I feel like i have let my wife and my psychiatrist down, but I can't keep doing it to myself and I fear my work and my study will suffer, as well as we are going on holidays soon and I don't want to go there as an angry wreak. I tend to push myself in life, but this is just getting too much.

[Dwwmills]

Hi Greyhound123.

I understand what you’re saying as I am in a similar situation. I went on SSRIs a couple of years ago for anxiety and they worked well combined with CBT. They work so well that after 6 months I was looking at tapering off. This took a further 12 months and I’ve now been off medication for about 7 months. I have my ups and downs now and in the middle of my downs I often wonder about medication. I think the medication worked for me in 2 ways, one it lifted my general mood and the other way it was a daily reminder that I needed to concentrate on my cognitive based therapy. I find that when I am feeling well that I tend to drop the ball a bit on practising CBT. I am lucky that the CBT fixes things when my anxiety comes back but it is still a bit of a rollercoaster. It’s difficult to have the willpower and the discipline to practice the CBT indefinitely, even though I know this is what I should do.

My wife has the opposite opinion to yours and thinks I should just stay on the medication. She can’t understand why if it works so well I would want to come off it at all. I also battle with that same sense of failure at the thought of going back on medication. I don’t know whether this is a particularly rational thought but I have it all the same.

In short I don’t have any answers for you but I do share some of the emotions you’re going through.

Cheers

Dean

[pipsy]

Hi Greyhound. I see where you're coming from in trying to be independent of medication. Your psych can only be guided by what she sees and you tell her. Possibly trying to see if you can function off meds would've been a good thought. However, there's no shame in admitting you were mistaken. You haven't failed, either, you tried something, it didn't work, you learnt something. Everyday we try to achieve things we feel are within our scope, sometimes we manage, other times we endure set-backs. Try to see this as one of those. I think it might be beneficial for you to re-visit your psych and let her know what's happened, how you feel. Ask her about returning to the AD's, tell her you seem to function better with them. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you're feeling more positive about needing them. As I said once before, try to look on them as supplements for better lifestyle. I'm pleased you at least gave it a go. As I said before, you didn't fail, you've learnt.

Lynda.

[Greyhound123]

Thanks for the feedback guys, It means alot. It is nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way Mills. I have started the medication again on my old dose and e-mailed my Psych to let her know. I am actually keen to start a form of structured CBT when I get a chance. I have had therapy and successfully gotten rid of my rituals 99% of the time, but I really want to understand more. I thought I had been doing well with my meditation...but it only took me so far.

Pipsy thank you very much for your support I followed your advice and think of them more a vitimins now than drugs.

Thanks heaps guys.