School psychologists moved school and anxious about going back to school

[charliecharliebear]

Hi There,

I have been reading these forums for a while but as I could not find any with a similar topic so it is my first time posting.

A little background is that I have always been quite isolated at school and have never really had any close friends. I experience some social anxiety and also general anxiety. In the last half of last year I started seeing the school psychologists. I found it really hard to talk for a lot of it but I’m the end found some ways (mostly writing to him) and we also worked on some ways to manage my anxiety mostly what we called ACE or acknowledge connect engage.

I found out at the end of last year that he is moving schools and there will be a different school psychologists coming. I do not know who this is, what their name is or where their office will be but the old psychologists said that he would pass on my file. 

As it is coming up to when I start school I am getting really anxious about going back to school, with social issues as well as no longer being able to go to my old school psychologists. I am scared that I will not get along with the new one and that I will have no one to go to when I get anxious at the start of school.

Would anyone have any recommendations about how to get to know the new person or other ways to find support at the start of school when I will not know them yet?

Thank you for your time and reading this. 

[Croix]

Dear Charliecharliebear~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum. While you may not have found anyone in exactly your situation the fact that people's therapists do move on or retire  is a common one. They can play such a large role in our  lives and to get there has most often taken a great deal of effort, worry and trust.

I guess firstly most school psychologists are knowledgeable and caring, and you'd be unlucky to find one that was not. That being said you are in charge, and if you did find one that you could not relate to then you simply do not use them.

If the ACE technique (though it can be called other names) has helped you that's great. It is very well-known and I'd be surprised if the new psychologist was not familiar with it and should be able to assist you  carry on with it.

How to approach the new one? Well, I think you have already solved that problem once - by writing. Do you  think you could do the same again?

You are not stranded in any case. I don't know if you are familiar with this but a service I've found good is The Kids Help Line which is pretty understanding and can be a real comfort. You can ring them multiple times, or if you  prefer use web chat.

On the home front do you have any family you get on wiht who you can lean on for some support?

It's a difficult time and we would like to know how you are getting on

Croix

[charliecharliebear]

Hi Croix, 

Firstly thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it. 

I think I could try to write to the new person. My main concerns were that a) I have no idea who they are or how to contact them. But hopefully I will be able to figure that out at school. And b) I don’t know if they will understand or know what has happened in the past and therefore will expect me to be able to speak or explain stuff when I am anxious but I really can not do that at all.

Thank you for suggesting kids help line I will keep that in mind into the future.

At home my answer is kind of but not really. To see a school psychologist you have to have parents consent (almost all the time this applies) so my parents know that he is leaving but I’m the past they have just told my that I need to relax or just stop stressing which has not been very helpful so I can talk to them on a superficial level but not really about anything else. 

thank you again for your reply, it has certainly helped me not stress out quite as much.

thank you Charlie Charlie bear

[Croix]

Dear Charlie Charlie bear~

Trying to keep going by yourself wiht no support is extra hard, I could not manage it. It's a pity your parents do not have more expereice and take matters seriously.

I'm not sure you are completely right about school psychologists. For certain under some circumstances they may have to, but if I were you I'd check out if in your school if it is mandatory.

As you say you can find out how to get a letter delivered, perhaps in that you might say you only wish to see this person if it is kept confidential.

I found because I took a few days to do it I was able to put all the important stuff about what was happening to me and how I felt down on paper in simple point form.

When I had a consultation it tended basically on me answering questions expanding on what I'd written, not a hard thing to do. It's not like you are starting from scratch.

The whole idea is you get a better and more enjoyable life, otherwise I'd not make these suggestions.

Croix

[charliecharliebear]

Hi Croix

Thank you again for your reply. 

Yes you are correct about parental permission at some schools but at my school it (at least for me) it was needed to be able to make a file. 

But that is okay as I already have a file and I do not believe that anything has to be done or said to parents if you see a different person. After a file has been created it is the same (I believe) as any other psychologist, like everything is confidential unless they believe you or someone is at risk or for leagal reasons. 

Thank you for you recommendation of writing dot points to start a conversation and also taking some time to do it, I will definitely try this. 

I find writing much easier as it can be hard to explain but like they already know what has been happening or what you have been thinking about therefore it is much easier to start talking about something and they can ask you questions not you having to explain everything. 

thank you again for your reply and recommendations, it had really helped me calm down a bit so thank you

charliecharliebear

[geoff]

Hello charliecharliebear, it's always disappointing when someone you can easily talk with, like the school psychologist, decides to leave, but you might be surprised and find the new psych even better than the last one, but if they don't talk to you the same way as your previous psych then they are just trying to get to know you.

Give them some time to establish your needs and may be able to find some hidden secret you have been hiding or afraid to mention.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Croix]

Dear Charliecharliebear~

I'm glad it helped, it is a worrying time and the more support you can get the better. Also that having a file already gets rid of one problem.

As you can probably tell I'm a big fan of handing over a list of matters. It's not only the fact that given enough time I end up thinking of everything and write it all down (thinking of everything is hard to do face to face) but it also gives the psych a checklist to work against, very useful in subsequent sessions.

The other thing of course is I've been tempted to chicken out on the frightening or embarrassing bits and minimize things in a consultation. If it is already down on paper then I end up presenting an accurate picture, not a 'prettied up' one. That's only sensible as how can things be dealt with if the picture is incomplete

Please let us know how you get on

Croix