Scared to start medicaion, scared not too :(

[Kittyg]

Hi guys,

Well I'm new to Beyondblue and new to depression. This is my first post and I hope I can find some help. I have been suffering from depression for maybe a few months now, but that past few weeks have been the worst. This is when I have decided to seek help. It's frustrating because there is nothing horrible in my life at all and I have many things to look forward to, including a trip to America in June. I am active, healthy, and have a great boyfriend and family around me. But every day is a struggle to get out of bed I just feel like there is no point. I get all these horrible thoughts in my head like "why? what is the point of today, tomorrow..." etc. Even when I'm doing things I love like spending time with my friends or partner, these horrible thoughts still sneak into my head in bring me down. It's like I can't escape them. It upsets me so much because a year ago I was just a normal happy and healthy girl living life to the fullest. Can anyone else relate with me here?

Anyway so what I am getting to is the treatment side of things. I have started psychology this week but my doctor has prescribed an antidepressant and said it will be my own choice whether I need it or not. The psychologist said the same thing. Most days I really do feel like I need it because at the moment I generally feel like it's an in balance in my brain or something! Like it won't matter how healthy, social, active or positive I am, there is just nothing that can pull me out of this. But

I am SO scared to start them. For 1 I have heard the first month of starting them will be hell so I will be worried about work and my general well being, for second I am worried that once I am on them I will never want to come off, and 3 I am worried that if ever do come off that the withdrawal will be too hard and the depression will come back 😞 Can anyone out there shed some light for me?  I am lost and I spend hours racing around the internet looking at reviews trying to find the answer for me. I am just lost and confused and don't know what to do. Thanks for listening and if you take the time to answer me then god bless you

[Blue85]

Hi Kittyg,

Welcome to BeyondBlue.

 You've made a HUGE step by seeing your GP and a psychologist in the first instance so you should be proud for that to start with. It can be very daunting to be handed a prescription and told that it is your choice to take it or not. I was in the exact same situation about 8 years ago. I chose to take the medication. 

 8 years later, I know it was the smart decision to make. I suffer from Bipolar disorder so my medication path may be different from yours, but medication isn't a 'life sentence' for you either. Medications can have side effects, but that is what the GP and psychologist are for. Speak to them about any concerns at all. Pharmacists are also a wealth of information when you collect scripts too. 

 Depression is a different path for everyone, and all the questions you have are absolutely valid. At the end of the day, I recommend taking your time to make the decision, but definitely include your health care practitioners in your discussion, and maybe someone close to you that you trust. 

Try not to be too scared based on people's comments on the internet either - remember that there will be MANY other people in the world taking medications like yours and are doing well with them. Your GP will have weighed the pros and cons for prescribing it. Also, if one isn't the right one, then there are other options (which I also know from experience and having changes myself). 

Like I mentioned, personally for me it was the right decision. I may have had changes over the years, but it was the start of getting the care that I needed overall. I aim to one day live medication free, but meanwhile, taking medication every day isn't a bad thing. In fact, it is a good thing for me. It helps. A lot! 🙂

Good luck with making your decision. 

[Beltane]

Hoya and welcome to BB

Well done for all the hard work yout're doing to get yourself better! It's so hard to take that step and you're doing so well, to get yourself to your doc and to your psych! I really genuinely congratulate you, really well done.

as you say, chemical Imbalances and the brain can be the cause- for some people they find therapy and life changes can fix their issues, for others they really do need that tablet.

im with Blue who posted above- I have bipolar so my meds are different as well. For instance, I need to be on a medication for the rest of my life most likely. But it does me SO SO good- it's sorted a lot of my symptoms out and in conjunction with theraoy had made my illness stop causing issues. And with no side effects whatsoever, there's no reason for me not to want to be on it.

your concerns are a little catastrophic. For a start, I don't know where you heard that the first month is rough- that's just not the case. There is often mild side effects in the first week or two as the brain adjusts- but we're usually talking about you being a bit sleepy or losing your appetite. Anything more serious than that and you'll want to get in touch with your doc.

will you have to be on them forever? No one knows. Many people go on them only for 6 or 12 months and in conjunction with their dictor, wean off them. 

yes you can weak off them. Never just stop them- always wean off them as your doctor tells you to and you should have very little or no side effects. Usually people wean off over 4-6 weeks or so- slower if they start feeling a bit off.

sometimes people Blame the medication when they get withdrawal side effects- but more often than not it's sctualky the original illness flaring up again as the treatment is removed.

also bever research a drug on the net. The only people who talk about them are the ones who found it didn't work, so they want to complain about it. People who find it works rarely post. So the reviews are often heavily biased towards the negative. Also just because it didn't work fir one person doesn't mean it won't work for you.

my Med is a life saver for me! But if someone else took it, it'd probably make them sleep for a week! That's cos my brain is different to theirs!

you can always ask to start off at a very low dose and work your way up- this generally prevents any side effects and lets you adjust 🙂

[Kittyg]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It's a nice feeling knowing total strangers out there are willing to stop and take the time to help someone they don't even know. So thankyou.

I think you have definitely made me feel a bit better about maybe starting medications. I think I might still hold off and see how my first few weeks of phyc go. It's good to know I have the meds as my next option though. It's just hard when some days I feel like a mess in a dark whole, and then the next I feel ok and think I'm going to be just fine. I'm still new to this and it sucks dosnt it 😞 

 I'm glad I did post this though because you are right I have done a lot of review reading online which turned me off medications. I believe you are most likely correct about the biased bad reviews. I should stop reading them!

well thank you anyway I think I am a little less confused. Still feeling a bit lost but atleast I have started the journey. 

[Kittyg]

Thankyou so much it really means a lot for you to reply and offer your support.

i think it's going to be a big decision for me to start meds so I think I will hold out a little and see how the phyc work goes. It's good to know that I have the meds as my next option though and thank you for making them see a little less daunting for me. 

your right I need to stop looking at reviews because most of them really put me off. 

 I'm sill feeling quite lost but hopefully there is some brightness in the future. 

 Mental illnesses suck 😞