Parents against diagnosing medication for Depression/Anxiety/OCD

[Shell_Shell]

Hi all.

I don't really know what to say except explain the situation and ask for advice...

 Back in high school (yr 10) I was having a lot of isssues and my GP that my mum had been taking me to for my whole life said it was her professional opinion that I had OCD and anxiety issues. My mum essentially scoffed at her and said that there was no way I was going on meds. To this day my mum still says how disappointed she was with that GP and that she "just wanted to through me into a label and drug me". My father didn't really know how to deal with all this and just kond of ignored it all.

My mum then proceeded to send me to a Kanezelogoist to help me deal with whatever was going on. After having 3 sessions a week for a month and feeling terrible that my mother was spending all this money for - what seemed to me - no improvement, I simply got better at hiding my compulsions. My mother to this day believes it worked and my father talks to me normally again. However I still have compulsions that I have to do or else I start stewing and panicking over them.

The reason why I said all that was because now after about 4-5 months of feeling like something is up I have come to accept that if I went back to a GP I would probably be diagnosed with Depression and/or Anxiety (I don't really understand how the two correlate but I think the Anxiety was always there and the Depression has just made it worse).

The problem is this; I still live at home. I work 2 jobs and voulentteer but I still live with my parents. Im worried that if I do go talk to a GP and they diagnose me with something that my parents (particularly my mum) will find out and waste money on natropaths or kenezelologists (they may help some people but they don't seem to help me if the past os anything to go by). I wouldn't mind going to a professional to talk with (psychologist??) or taking meds since they do seem to work and I want to get past this, but both cost money and my mother is able to access my bank account and see where my money is going.

Is there any other way to help myself without having to go to the GP and be diagnosed?? Has anyone else been in this or a similar situation? 

 Sorry for the long post... 

Shell

[white knight]

Hi Shell,  thankyou for posting and welcome to beyond blue forums

Our parents always mean well but some unfortunately are very naive and even some think they know more than a psychiatrist that has several years of study and experience over a GP. This annoys me at times. And we are talking about YOUR health here, your future, your ability to function to the best you can function.

These other professionals might know a lot in their field but mental illness has a home of care and that, in my opinion is psychologists and psychiatrists and therapists.

We here are all sufferers of mental illness of some type. We are the experienced in that field- as sufferers. So, based on that, if you were introduced to a person with anxiety that was cured of that illness would you agree that that persons treatment was successful and follow similar avenues for your recovery?  Well here I am.  In terms of anxiety (and I have other illnesses like bipolar type 2, dysthymia and depression) I am a success story.

Briefly, my anxiety was always there in my teens but peaked during an incident at work at 32yo. I sought an occupational therapist that taught me various techniques to relax. Medication was prescribed. I was able to stop meds 12 years later and continued relaxation techniques to this day. Add some spiritual discoveries and I'm great.

From what you have stated I gather you are over 18yo now. Isnt it time you had your own bank account and didnt have your mum having access? Further to that it is also time to seek out your own medical consultations alone. That is the answer to that issue even if there are reasons for it....its time Shell. Old enough to vote and drive a car, old enough to get through life without mum holding on.

Other posts that might help you are-

"Seeking the origin of anxiety"    in anxiety section (use search)

There are many threads here that might help you.

Take care.    Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Shell, I can truly sympathise with you, as I have had OCD for 54 years as people on this site know, as I have replied to many people with the same illness.

I also learnt to hide all my habits and/or rituals nobody could see me, well I had to look because I was called a weirdo at some stage, so once I hid them, no one knew.

OCD is normally generated by anxiety, that's what the doctors say and all the books agree with this, and yes it can be justified, so let's accept this, but anxiety falls under the title of depression, just as all the other types of depression like PND, BP, social anxiety and all what comes under the title 'The Facts' at the top of this page.

This illness does have these tendencies 'to have compulsions that I have to do or else I start stewing and panicking over them', I know this and totally agree with you.

Personally going to a natropath or a kinesiologist is just a waste of time and money, and as Tony has said that if you are over 18 then your bank account should only be opened and known about by you, and not your mum.

Are you able to click on 'Get Support' on the top of this page, where there will be a list of doctors who you can contact, who will then be able to refer you to a psychologist who specialises in OCD, or alternatively ring the web chat line or the 24 hour line, both phone numbers are also at the top of this page.

You need to branch out by yourself, because although your mum thinks she is doing the right thing for you, she's not, she's stopping you from getting real help.

I really hope that you can get back to us, and please ask me any question you want, because I've been through it all, and 54 years is a long time, so I would love to hear back from you. Geoff.x

[Beltane]

Hi Geoff. Well your parents onviousky resiexf alternatuve remedies over traditional doctors/ medicines. And that's ok that's geir life choice. You are a different person and you're presumably over 18.

to be honest. Depression, anxiety, OCD and all those related illnesses are complex. You've noticed already that you rarely have just one alone- many go hand in hand. Not always but a lot. So the treatments usually involve more than one thing. Mental illnesses are thought to cause by chemical imbalances in the brain namely the chemicals serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. Other chemicals that can play havoc are adrenaline, and hormones like testosterone/ estrogen. So that's where medications come in- they're made to try go get those chemicals back in the right balances. But doctirs can't know which chemical is the one that's wrong which is why sometimes people have to try more than one drug to find the right one.

people will tell you that "medication won't fix the problem". They're not wrong but they're not right either. The correct sentence is "medication won't fix the problem by itself". It'll help- significantly so. The right medication will just make everything easier- for me it ensures I sleep and eat right, and it got me to a good mental state after I was suicidal! So that's pretty impressive, hey? Many ocd aufferes report drugs that massively help them. 

But you need to back up your mess with other things- therapy, lifestyle changes, exercise, healthy eating. A pill won't fix it all but it very much might make it a hell of a lot easier.

as someone over 18 you can get your own medicare card, go to your own I doctor (many dictors bulk bill so you won't pay) and you can get your own mental health care plan do you can get up to 10 bulk-billed or cheap visits to a therapist. 

Oh and remember always that naturopatjy and alternative medixine does not have the legal status of doctirs for a reason. None of their treatments have been studied and tested to the same standards, all doctors medicine go through years of rigorous testing to 1. Prove it works and 2. Prove it won't hurt you. 

Just because issomething is natural doesn't mean it's safe. Marijuana is natural but that doesn't mean you should smoke it for OCD. St Johns Wort is a natural herb used for depression but there's not a lot to say it actually works, and it can cause horrible deadly reactions with other medications. 

[Beltane]

Oh and if you're 18 or over its illegal for a dictor to tell your parents anything without your written permission. They would break confidentiality abd could lose their license. You may also I think seek confidential treatment if you're between 16-18 I think- not sure but I certainly think so. Maybe not.

either way- look I know it's hard to stand up to your parents. Especially on this. I've had depression/ anxiety for 10 years and refuse to talk to my mum about it because she starts treating me like I'm psychotic and "committing me involuntarily to a psych ward". To be clear, I'imperfectly fine- I live a normal life and am not dangerous or suicidal, I'm perfectly sane and normal. So I've gone so far as to tell my dad and other important family members that she is not to be my NOK/ representative if I ever need one- infact I tell all doctors that under  no circumstances is she to be told anything. They are to ring my father and he is to make that decision to tell her. 

It it took a long time to stand up to her but it was one of the best things I ever did. Now I can seek the treatment I want without her showing up and ranting on about how "psychiatric medicines are bad" and "I should try hypnotherapy/ acupuncture". 

Psychoatric medications combined with therapy save many peoples lives and make many other peoples lives far far far better. After all, if it's ok for someone with a heart disease to take their heart medication, and it's ok for for a diabetic to take their insulin medication, then why isn't it ok for a person with mental illness to take a pill to help that too?

[geoff]

dear Beltane, a very good explanation, and boy, I wish I was 18 again, but no I'm 60.

My parents didn't know or at least didn't talk to me about having OCD and my Dad was a GP, but I agree with you OCD is from anxiety plus depression, and now I have been taking medication which is supposed to help someone with OCD, maybe it does, or maybe it doesn't, but if the doctors say it does then I will go along with this.

Over the period that I have had it there were many habits/rituals which I don't do any more, but all of a sudden I will do one which has just come out of nowhere, but it's never repeated again.

Marijuana has been known to help certain people with illness's, this could be so, but for it to be legal in one state and banned from all the others, is really being unrealistic, just for one reason and this is our government don't claim any tax from it.

Just to answer one question, you can get 10 free visits which are bulk billed. Geoff.

[Cestro]

Hey Shell.

I can completely relate to what you're going through. A few years ago I was suffering badly from my OCD and depression. I told my mother about it and she sent me to a GP and a psychologist. Neither of them really worked for me.
But now (same as you), I just hide my OCD from everyone, and no one asks questions.

It sounds like I have really similar OCD to you; my mind will come up with tasks and rituals that I have to perform, otherwise I cant stop stressing and thinking about them for hours. I also get allot of intrusive, depressing thoughts that bother me endlessly and stem from my depression.

I find that with OCD, just learning to live with it and adapt to it is more powerful and affective than any kind of therapy or medications. I believe that medication just masks you're OCD and never gives you the opportunity to truly find ways of controlling it. Just keep fighting it, and gradually over time you should find ways of making it easier for yourself to control and ignore the urges, that’s what works the most for me.

You might also find that allot of you're OCD makes you worry about things that will never actually happen, or things that don't really exist. I find that reminding myself of this and telling myself that it's just OCD and not real can sometimes help me overcome the feelings, thoughts and urges.

Also, never give into you’re OCD, because the less you give in to it, the more you learn how to control/ ignore it. Always remain determined and driven to overcome you're OCD. Remember that you are the leader of you're life, and OCD cant control how you live unless you allow it to 🙂

Take care Shell. Know that you will always have people that you can talk to about these things, people who can relate and understand how you feel :)

[Beltane]

oh jeez Geoff, i'm so sorry, i was meant to be replying that post to Shell Shell the original Op! but its gone to you instead. not to say you cant benefit from the info, just to say it was aimed towards Shell not you (no offence). Sorry for the confusion

[Beltane]

in all fairness, i think medications should be left up to Shell Shell to discuss with her doctor. Whether meds are involved or not, you still need to do therapy (tonnes of therapy), make lifestyle changes, learn coping skills. theres lot of work to be done in any case of anxiety, ocd, depression- all of that. So taking a pill certainly doesnt mean you skip the rest of the therapy! i should know, because i take meds and still have to do all that other stuff.

so i'm going to encourage an open mind on this one, and for each person to make a decision based on their own beliefs and what they find works for them, and what their doc recommends. some people have really strong beliefs that psych meds are bad and thats fine for them, but other people (including myself) find they're the difference between living a normal life and spending life in a depressed/ anxious/ OCD state. so i'm quite happy to keep my tablets, along with my therapy, because if thats what it takes for me to have a normal, calm, stable, minimal anxiety life, then i'm fine with that.