My Son is Showing Signs of Depression. Should I Tell Family My Anxiety Is Triggered?

[Ranga-1]

My 19yo son is showing signs of depression (lack of motivation, not showering as often). He is supposed to attend TAFE Mon and Tues, but he has to get a very early train because the campus is not in our town. Our town doesn't offer the course of study he's doing. He enjoys the course. Our routine is I get him up and he gets ready, and I take him to the train station. This morning he said he didn't feel well and preferred to maybe catch later train (which would get thim there in time for afternoon classes). When it was time to get up for that train, he was still feeling not great. 

He does look a bit lethargic and off-colour today, admittedly. I suggested he set himself a goal to have a shower and brush his teeth, which might make him feel a bit better. 

He's not working at the moment, so it's important he continue with TAFE for 'occupation'. I'm being as supportive as i can be and pointed out if he wants to talk to anybody, the college has a counselling service if he's worried about anything. 

Now, here's my question: I'm thinking of having a family meetign tonight and telling everyone how this is making ME feel. I have anxiety and catastrophise. I am exhausted. I have to work and am studying. In about 8 weeks, I have to do a three-week prac in a nearby town (I'm doing a teaching degree) and it will be exhausting for me. I need support and reassurance that my son is going to attend his classes. His dad has  health issues and is unable to work. I don't think my son has a memory of his dad in long term employment at all, and I wonder if this has affected him. SHOULD I TELL THEM HOW I FEEL OR WILL I LIKELY MAKE IT WORSE FOR THEM?

Thank you, everyone. 

[therising]

Hi Ranga-1

Congratulations on the commendation. They're fulfilling, those moments, where hard work does not go unrecognised. A commendation on the head lice treatment too. I smile when I say 4 words that tend to trigger a mum can be 'I have head lice'. Staying on top of it is definitely the way to go. The eggs are a mongrel to get out. The less the better. With the war on head lice, it's about battle strategies.

I'd forgotten about the concept of compartmentalising. I suppose I tend to do it with time. For example, between 5am and 6am I'll do this, between 6am and 6:30am I'll do that. So on and so on. I have lists each day like this. Instead of lists, I think I'll write things down in block form and see what happens. My brain might prefer so see things in block form, like building blocks in a structure. A sense of satisfaction in being able to look back over the day or week etc and think 'I'm structuring my life like a master builder'. I seem to be struggling a little lately, to commit to time frames. Thanks for the tip.

Hoping the assessment goes well for you and comes with some sense of ease 🙂

[Ranga-1]

Thank you. He developed a really bad infestation ages ago.  We went to a professional for treatment and they did a great job. Also, at the time, his dad had almost died, so the heightened situation no doubt contributes to the bad memories because of my emotional state at the time. And as I've mentioned, his dad has had ongoing issues since then.

I thought I was the world's worst mother, but an old friend told me he was 17/18 and had to take some responsibility because what guy that age lets his mother near him, that I tried everything I could and took him to get treated, and this indicates I am a GOOD mum. 

I have to tell myself the fact that I got a specialist and help him ensure it doesn't happen again means I'm a decent mother and that this is NOT going to happen again! 

So, I keep on top if it. And yes, it's all about the strategy.