maybe they are wrong .

[lostone73]

Howdy all and Merry Xmas

I have a problem that i am trying to get my head around . Sorry if it is so long but needs a background .

Few years ago i was placed on a benzo and had a very bad reaction . It took me a long time to get back to something near normal but never right . The problem was that everyone treating me wanted to look at the anxiety . Not sure if you may know but benzos can cause anxiety and this is one reason why they should not be used long term . The problem was because i had the bad reaction it caused the anxiety from day one . I never had anxiety before this , only normal anxiety .

The problem is as i have said every one wants to treat the anxiety but as i am not a anxious person and in fact think very logical i dont think this is the problem . I dont say i dont have anxiety but as i live with sympton that are far from nice everyday i understand it . If the symptoms go i can adress what anxiety they cause really fast and move on but the problem is the symptoms dont go often .

I find that the symptoms are always bought on worse by being overwhemled and this is not fear based but depressed based .

The problem i believe is depression but i cant get someone to agree with this as the main underlying problem. If you spoke with me you would also not see if . But if i think or asked what is wrong i would simply say that i am overwhelmed with everything . I would not say i am scared although i do get scared but this is from the symptoms more than life in general .

I did not have a easy upbringing or a easy life and the one thing i have learned is to just accept things and not react as others would . I think this is what has feed my depression and what makes it so hard to see as its not new but part of me .

I went to a expert and they say no depression because i dont act like i am depressed but come on dont people kill themslves and people say i never knew he was depressed . Why would it be simply because i am so use to it that i dont show it as much as someone that could be new with it that i dont have it . I have friends on ADs for depression but would not sya they are depressed but they say they are so  who am i to judge .

My mental health worker sees depression i will say but not full on . I really do think that i just hide it well as i have had 40 years of doing it .

So is any one like this also ?

By the way i am male and 41 .

cheers all

[Pixie15]

Merry Christmas.

From what I have been told the aim of treatment is for you to get to know yourself and what can work to help you. Maybe you could try a different therapy/therapist if you do not think you are being understood.

From my experience anxiety can lead to depression. If my defence mechanisms break down for any reason I can quite quickly end up in quite severe depression. It is a daily challenge to keep doing what works for me. It can be very tiresome. But I think this is different to someone who primarily suffers depression. 

Hope you manage to find some joy this Christmas. Peace.

[Suzbj]

Hi Lostone73, 

Yes I get what you are saying. I have had a number of psychologists not support me re depression and/or anxiety. Being a university student with 2.5 years in Social Work and some other studies in psychology, I understand  how having that degree doesn’t make you understand or have any understanding re depression/anxiety. It is a degree that people get. It doesn’t necessarily make them good at what they do. Like any job or profession you need to work through until you find someone who resonates with you. There are good and bad in all professions. So keep looking. You will find the right person. Don’t give up!  And yes, I believe that anxiety is a bi-product of depression. At least, that is my lived experience. 

 Cheers Suz xx 

[Suzbj]

Also as a 41yo male - are you are aware of the resources open to you? Like Men's Help line? Dads in Distress if you have children you have been separated from. Beyond Blue phone number if you just want to talk? We have your back on this site. Just trying to give you options if you need it.

Cheers xxx

[Suzbj]

Also Men's Shed depending on where you are