It's just all BPD

[buzzer32]

Hello

So recently after a victim of family violence incident  I was diagnosed with BPD despite having no issues with anger, self identity or obvious implusive behaviours . During diagnose hospital team explain to me what I'm having is not family violence and my reactions of fear and distress is not normal response to my family actions.

This one of most confusing diagnose I have as would thought being physically assaulted by family would be family violence and fear and distress be very natural responses, but my diagnosed team ensured it's just BPD acting up. Further it was suggested that cause of BPD maybe unknowingly I pretend be gay just to upset my family.

It was also suggested it's my duty to ensure relationship with family is stable and it can be done even when they are attacking me.

This so strange be told after years abuse I getting actually all my own fault cause of BPD and i need fix instead of family changing abusive behaviors.

[white knight]

Hi Buzzer, welcome

My knowledge of BPD is fair but as peer advisers we arent allowed to go into things too far into where professionals would determine. However, I'm not doubting what you were told but maybe how you received the advice. Also BPD is a complex illness that is difficult for others to live with so I'm guessing their concerns once you were diagnosed with it, that they tended to look at that as the culprit for everything and my common sense, like yours tells me this is over the top. Certainly any physical violence is unacceptable. Perhaps they think the BPD leads to issues?. Certainly BPD behaviour is such that others dont know what to do in a crisis and that naivety is a big problem.

So, now that you have been diagnosed the journey to become the best you can be with your BPD should be your goal. BPD sufferers arent often compliant to therapy or psych treatment, usually a few weeks at best and they then stop going. Therein lies your challenge to continue long term. You can do it!

There is a certain level of your own assessments while living your life under mental health treatment, after all, all treating staff are humans and they can be judgemental too.  Perhaps you can move on to more important matters now and discount some of the blame pointed at you from medical staff ? IN future question them as assumptions can be hurtful. 

Abuse is abuse so others abusing you is unacceptable. However verbal abuse by BPD sufferers can lead to physical by others etc,  It isnt beneficial going over any details- its more for you to think about your previous reactions and try to reduce them and introduce new strategies like- walking away, take the dog for a walk, meet new people that are more understanding and take up more hobbies etc... all learned with therapy.

So best pluck out the things you know are true from medical reports, if anybody was not present  at a family conflict then they are guessing the situation was BPD, thats unfair. Embrace yourself, it isnt your fault and be aware that BPD includes some behaviour that is hard to live with, counter that with love and care.

Reply anytime

TonyWK

[buzzer32]

I've had family violence for over 10 years but despite I'm very claim i.e  i don't fight back, no yelling or anger issues, no verbal abuse, no impulsive behaviour(but hospital suggested me being gay could unconscious impulsive behaviour) I would thought this reactions are most sensible? and seem be complete opposite to BPD.

As for BPD leading to the issues, one staff member upon telling them abuse I get said as a man I need to man up(almost like as saying as man should be able put up with regularly being assaulted )

My theory is perhaps medical staff not well trained in family violence and thus any issues automatically label with some mental illness  

[buzzer32]

As for therapy that's already be done for 12 years which time found lot lack of training, including some mental health service give out details on my to my perpetrators