Is it hard to actually get up and go seek professional help?

Tibby · ‎10-09-2013

Growing up I was always so cheerful and happy. A few years ago I experienced some trauma and I never cried or talked about it. I was just too ashamed to admit to myself that I wasn't ok. I thought I was getting on with my life, I've been at Uni for three years and I was going quite well. I think it's started to hit me what actually happened and now I'm completely unmotivated to do anything, even get out of bed some days.

I'm think I'm scared of getting help. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm still yet to accept that I'm not coping.

So is it hard to actually call and make the appointment? Walk in and commit to that appointment? Start talking to someone you have never met about what's wrong? Go back for more appointments? Accepting what they have to say?

Dennis38 · ‎11-09-2013

There is no real easy answer to this question Tibby but I will tell you what I did. 13 years ago I was run over by a car, did a lot of damage to me both physically and mentally. Now for a while my thought was basically its my mind my body I should have control over it. I did not need anyone's help I would sort this out myself. Well I got a really rude wake up call in the form of me nearly killing myself. Was the very first time I have ever been scared of me. That was a wake up call of "Hey you are not handling this as well as you thought and maybe just maybe its time to call someone"

The phone call was not hard to make, walking in for the appointment was a little nervous at first. but once I found the right person to talk to it was all good. Now here are a few things you do need to keep in mind when seeking help. The councilers/pyshs are like shoes you have to try a few on to find that right fit. So the first time you go into someone's office and you just do not feel comfortable with them ask them for a couple of referals, I had to talk to four people before I found the guy that I was comfortable with.

Now as for talking to someone you have never met about your problems, to be honest its the best thing you are going to do for yourself. The reason is that this is a person you will only meet in an office, more than likely you do not run in the same social circles, which is the ideal case IMO because then you do not have to worry about any awkward moments, and with them being outside your "normal" circle they might be able to give you some insight that you had not thought of.

Now as for accepting what they say that's a little tricker, because lets face it the only person that truly knows what is right for us, is us. The guy that I was talking with for a while had a few good ideas and suggestions but some of the things he had to say did not suit or fit me simply because he has never had to deal with the problems that I have had to deal with, so take everything with a grain of salt.

My advice, make the call before you have a rude awaking like I did. It will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Chris_B · ‎11-09-2013

Hey Tibby, Dennis' advice is great. It's perfectly normal to feel hesitant/scared/anxious at each of those stages you mention. Have you got any friends or family you can confide in at this point about what you're going through? Having someone who can walk the journey with you, even take you to that first appointment, can be a big help.

I was lucky enough to have an older work colleague who I blurted out to one day not long after I was first diagnosed with depression and put on meds. I was completely unprepared for his reaction, which was to ask me 'which ones' and then talk to me about his decades of history - and you would have never known. He was a huge source of strength for me in the early days of coming to terms with getting help and trying to find solutions to stay well.

Let us know how you go.

best
CB

____________________________________________________________________
Online Community Manager

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎11-09-2013

Dear Tibby,

It's OK to talk on the Beyondblue site about your past trauma if physically getting to t a GP/counsellor/psychiatrist, etc, is way too hard for you. Or, like Christopher says "Have you got any family and friends to confide in ?". When you are more specific about the historical pinch point more people on this site can relate to that particular situation. But in general talking to the dog, the Post Office clerk, the Newsagent, the woman across the road who once returned a mis-delivered letter to you, etc, is a good way to get out the angst and be "normal".

I wouldn't make the appointment and tick the box. For an alternative mindset make the appointment and then cancel it if things get too much. So, you already have this cancellation in the back of your mind when you book in. You're not saying I WILL COME AT 9AM FRIDAY like you are in some Gestapo March with the Bavarian Tuba Company playing "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's 9th Symphony. You want to be flexible and that way avoid the worry.

Likewise you can always change counsellors. The point Dennis and Christopher are making is that you don't have to be held hostage by not coping. Unless your depression looks like Matt Damon. Then, maybe, 2 days tops.

Adios, David.

vip · ‎11-09-2013

Hi Tibby you sound like you are experiencing post-partum depression here remembering your bad experience. Look you have done the 1st step to recovery and thats speaking about it here on this forum. Honestly it will be exactly the same just sitting face to face with someone eg psych or gp and telling them what actually is going on. You really need to be really strong here and just do it. I know I felt scared embarassed ect with the 1st appointment with my psych but when my psych had told me he suffered with depression numerous times it made me feel so much better. Honestly lots of people suffer with it and it is sooo common . Once you have taken this step this will further help your recovery. Please keep those communication lines open. Even write everything down in a journal and hand that to the psych on your 1st appointment if need be. Take care

Pixie15 · ‎11-09-2013

Hi Tibby,

From what I understand in a general way if your trauma is resurfacing it may mean that you have the resources to deal with it. I know from my experience that I have pushed things down in the past because I either had no means or was not strong enough to cope with them. I have recently been undergoing a course of therapy with a psychologist and to be honest it has not been easy but it has really helped me so I would definitely encourage anyone else to consider it. I understand that if you see your doctor you can be referred for free treatment. If you are still at Uni you probably have counselling services available to you as well. The hard part for me was not so much making the appointment but owning up to the fact that I needed help. Best wishes, Chris.

Tibby · ‎11-09-2013

Wow! Thank you all for a reply! Reading your advice has, well.. made me feel less closed off. It's big sigh of relief!

Dennis that advice was perfect, I honestly read it and immediately called my GP for a referral, I now have my first appointment with a psychologist next week. I still am very anxious about going though. But at least I was able to make the call. I am so sorry to hear about what you experienced and I really do hope that you are able to recover!

Christopher, I do have friends and family around me but I don't at the same time.. My family and I are really close but I moved out of home and I moved a three hour drive away from home so most support is by phone. But also a lot of my family are going through something seriously medically. I am finding it hard to talk to them because I know they're too worried about their own problems. I worry that I'm just going to worry them further.. My partner has been quite supportive, he has asked me every morning and every night how I'm feeling. The hardest thing so far was telling him that I don't think I'm coping. His response was wonderful. But he unfortunately works 70+ hours a week. I haven't told all my friends, but the ones I have vowed not to leave me alone for long. I still feel like a burden on them though.

I am very happy to let you know how I get on.

Nes a journal sounds like a good idea! I'll start one tonight and see how that goes!

A big thank you for your support!

geoff · ‎12-09-2013

dear Tibby, I love Dennis's advice and how right he is, straight to the point, and as Nes has said 'lots of people suffer with it and it is sooo common'

The first time I went to a psychiatrist I was so depressed, down in that black hole so much I couldn't have given a damn who I spoke to, or what I had to say, it was just a figure sitting there opposite me, I felt no connection with him, answered a few questions, showed him my drawing of my spider web, which was all my problems coming to a head, the nucleus and that was my brain.

This trauma has affected you so much and you won't get any better until you can relate to a psychologist, and it won't take long until you know whether they are the one for you, and this doesn't mean to stop trying because there will be someone out there, please trust us. L Geoff. x

Tibby · ‎13-09-2013

I'm sorry, apparently I didn't see some of these posts earlier.

I haven't cancelled my first appointment. But I am fearful that I'm not going to connect with my psychologist. How do you handle it? Do you just think s/he doesn't suit me and simply seek someone else?

Dennis38 · ‎13-09-2013

Tibby congrats on taking that first step. And as for being anxious well that is just normal, hey you can say you are "doing something normal" *grins* I only have a couple of comments. First do not feel like you are a burden on someone, that is what friends and family are for. This might sound strange but some times it helps to lean on someone. The reason I say this is some times it helps the other person forget about their problems for a little bit and try to help you.

Its good that you can talk to your partner and yeah he does work a lot of hours but this will make him feel important as he will feel that like the white knight, for a lack of a better way of putting things. And as for friends well these are the moments that you find out who your true friends are and who are not.

Just remember the advice that everyone has given you, put it all together and it will really help you, stick with the appointment, if you are not comfy with the person you are talking with ask for another person to talk with. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing, this group is another way to reach out even if you are just having "one of those days" its good to talk.