I want to help myself to STOP Hidding from the world &feeling Depressed,Anxious&Alone

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Originally posted by: Maggie May on 23 October 2012

Lost ¬ sure where to start? Looking for advice on steps i can begin to take to get myself get back on lifes track? I know i need to seek out help from others around me& get some support. I've written a list of things I should do like, NO.1: go visit my doctor to get back on track with my medication again NO.2: get back in contact with my psychologist &resume regular sessions NO.3: reconnect with my close friends &my family, (my support network) they have been a big part of helping me to overcome similar episodes that Ive had throughout my past NO.4: Go Outside! I need to get up from bed &get out of my room &get some sunlight! -go 4 a walk or whatever? this is maybe the easiest task listed so far, but yet for me, in my current state of mind, this is the hardest thing to do, everyday I fight the same negative thoughts in my head almost obsessively around in circles until I become both mentally exhausted, physically drained, from feeling overwhelmed &above all SELF DEFEATED by my own anxiety. guilt& depression I cant understand why i let myself stay imprisoned in my room by myself all day too afraid to live life? Instead i just keep letting the days pass me by without following through on anything i plan to do that might help me help myself? I have got myself back on my feet in the past when I've been down &out but i feel I've burned all my bridges im having trouble coping with my current black hole ive let myslf fall in but im too deep now to escape from the anxiety& i cant muster up the courage to face the world& break down the barriers of my self isolation? Please if anyone feels they have any suggestions i would greatly appreciate any&all thoughts, I often wonder if Im the only person that thinks &feels such things? or Are their other people going through a stage in life such as this too? all i know for sure is that I want my life back I want to live again! enjoy life, be happy,travel around& experience as much as possible ! somewhere in my heart i truly believe we all should try our best to live everyday of our life to the absolute fullest coz after all any day- even this day- could be the last? love &hope &a big thanks to alll who take time to read this it means alot to me to share my troubles &struggles and have a place to vent by just writing it down simply voicing my insecurities &fears out loud, ITS A START 4ME thank you ...... Im Feeling a little BETTER ALREADY....... Sincerely Maggie May

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Originally posted by: David Charles on 23 October 2012

Dear Maggie May, Sometimes "steps/plans" are just too much to follow although there is great merit in your scheme. I'm not sure about support group "re-connection" as they should still be there for you now. Maybe one friend could move in with you ? Act as a human electric cattle prod for following such schemes, i.e. holding firm on eating times and sleep patterns. Throwing in some activites to relax with - drawing, tv, exercise -anything really that you feel you can make work. Be there for constant discussions and anxious moments when you need to talk to someone and not hide in your room mulling over stuff for eternity. Now, you won't find a human electric cattle prod in the stores. But, Michel's Pattiserie do good cakes and most humans are capable of care and love. Treat yourself to a few luxuries. You're worth it. The other thing your human electric cattle prod can do is put a lock on your bedroom door. Psych hospitals sometimes use this trick to fend off eternal sleepers. You need a routine to have a plan. Adios, David.

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Originally posted by: AnonAnon on 23 October 2012

Hi Maggie May, why haven't you been able to do steps 1 and 2? If it's the act of stepping out of your room that's the hindrance, are you able to step outside to the backyard garden. Or better yet, sitting on the front porch/verandah in front? If you see people walk past and they see you (and there's eye contact), you must smile or at least smile back. And this doesn't require any future planning! You can do this. And you can do this pretty much now or tomorrow morning. You make the decision whether you want to leave your room or not (to anywhere you like). Perhaps, one of those mornings, you might decide to walk further pass your gates and to the doctor's office. Thinking up thoughts about the act? Never mind it, it's just a thought. A bit anxious about the walk? Never mind it, it's just a feeling. Push through, push through, push through. Doing vs thinking. Do keep in contact. Best wishes

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Originally posted by: Chelsea on 24 October 2012

I TOTALLY understand how you feel right now. I'm sure I have spent the last two years hiding away and sleeping for most of the day but then at night when everyone is sleeping, I'm wide awake and just thinking over the silly stuff that is not really that important but feels huge at the time. I just wanted to be motivated again, step outside and just take in the sunlight. Drive to the shops. Hang out some washing. I know it sounds stupid but these small things can mean so much when your down and cooped up in the only place that seems comforting, MY BED! I've lost friends because I can't bring myself to go out and visit them, my family kind of gave up along time ago and I've become a creature of habit in my own loneliness. So my husband had finally had enough, it was off to the docs or divorce. That was my wake up call and now I'm going through the transition of med changes. I'm not completely switched yet and I've had a horrible time dealing with the changes BUT today I got up, went out for coffee, by myself 🙂 then came home and cleaned my house, watered my garden, baked a cake and put on a roast for my hubby. I think he just about fell over when he walked in the door. I feel like I've woken from a century long sleep. I feel alive. So my point is this, I've just come from where you are and within a week of seeing my Doctor I have had a complete turn around. You can do it too. Just make the appointment and go. You have nothing to lose. I know some days will be harder than others but I also know that the good days are worth fighting for and if it means dragging your butt out of bed for a few hours to see a Dr than so be it. Good luck .. Chelsea

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Originally posted by: Scott2 on 26 October 2012

Hi MaggieMay I think step 1,2,3,4 as you suggested. Start with 1 , it's good you made a start thats the main thing. Chelsea sounds like you and I are are on the same path right now, I hear you. 1/2 hr outside is good for now, small steps it is soldier on! S2

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Originally posted by: jennifer on 1 November 2012

i so feel the same as you but have been to the doc and trying to sort out meds but just not happening fast enough for me this time i just feel like a massive let down to everyone around me and just want to feel like my old self again this may not help you but at least you know there are others out their exactly the same as you

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Originally posted by: geoff on 2 November 2012

dear Maggie May, Jennifer makes a very important point such as 'a massive let down to everyone around me', this could be true but it's like saying 'there are worst people off than me', we have to first consider ourselves as the major concern, these facts are true, but here we are not comparing others to us, we are stating on how WE feel and how we are trying to overcome depression, and sometimes or most times do these people feel sorry for us, maybe or maybe not. Maggie May it's good that you have been able to post your feelings and that's always good to begin with, and maybe you could reply to what other people are seeking help for, because this will begin to open up on how you feel and gives you the chance to 'verbally' express yourself, and so the process can begin. Love Geoff. x

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Originally posted by: Paula on 3 November 2012

OMG I am totally understanding you right now! I feel so overwhelmed by all the problems that I am having that I am staying at home. Meanwhile the anxiety gets worse. I find the thought of 4 steps daunting in my current state. Let me know how you go.

[TemporarilyOutOfOrder]

I know how you feel and am in the same situation at the moment.

Only I have not actually seen my doctor in the first place in the past 2 years to have any ort of depression diagnosis, only my anxiety which I have suffered from for the past 7 years and deal with by myself.

If I get out of bed I move to the lounge. I do little around the house and do little with the people in my life (who remains). It has been like this for about 12 months now but I have had another period in my life many years ago when my son was small. 

I am trying to reach out but I can't, something is stopping me. Noone in my family knows and I don't know how I can tell them. My regular doctor of 26 years retired and I have it in my head that another doctor wont believe me. I had a chat on this site to a counselor who was of little help. I can't understand what I am supposed to do to get help when the depression is holding me back. I am so lost and confused, I just want to get bettter to live my life again and be the wife and mother I have been in the past.