Has anyone else done DBT?

[toshy]

Hi All

I am new to this site, I came on this site so I can try to understand what I am going through, I figured there must be others out there like me and I would like to hear from them.

The last 9 months have been horrific for me, I have been in and out of hospital with

severe anxiety and depression. You see I lost my soul mate 4 yrs ago after 30 years together. for the first 3 yrs I did ok as I still had my children at home. Then they moved out and I went downhill from there.

Sadly I have

tried to take my life 3 times as I can handle the thoughts and anxiety going through my head.

I have great support from my family but it still feels as though I am disconnected.

I am going through DBT at the moment and wonder if anyone else has done this and if so how did they go?

I look forward to your feedback.

Thankyou

[AGrace]

Hi toshy,

Welcome to the forums. I'm sure you will get a number of responses, as I can recall a few people are doing DBT on this site.

I really empathise with the trauma you have been through. It sounds like you were really strong for your children, i hope now you can make this time about you.

I am hoping to start DBT in September. I've done an 8 week pre-commitment group already. This gave me a lot of insight into what to expect during the 12 months of the program. I've been waiting almost a year to get in, so I am really looking forward to doing the modules. For me what will be most difficult is putting the skills into practice in day to day life. I'm happy to keep you updated on my progress, and I'd love to hear how you're finding it.

I hope that very soon it will begin to help you manage the suicidal thoughts, as this is a huge priority.

AGrace

[geoff]

dear Toshy, your journey has been a long and difficult time, and your children can only prop you up only for a certain time, so you are left to battle with the continual feeling of depression.

Being married for 30 odd years is a great feat, and you truly loved your husband, but unfortunately we never know when this relationship can come to an end, and when it happens it leaves a giant hole in your heart, and even your children who you dearly love, but they can't fill that specific hole.

I haven't done DBT as such or it wasn't called this, but reading it on the net, I believe that I have, but it was never named by my psychologist.

To try and take your life must have been very upsetting for your children, if they ever knew, but please believe me your worth to all of them and maybe grandchildren on the horizon is so valuable, but that's where you need help.

I would like to know how this treatment goes for you. L Geoff. x

[toshy]

Thankyou Agrace for your kind words and support, I would love to know how you go with DBT and I will keep you updated on my journey.

Keep Well x

[toshy]

Hi Geoff,

I wish to thankyou for your kind words.

I know I should be grateful for the 30 years I had with my husband but expected to grow old with him.

Now I feel as I have no purpose in life even though I truly love my children and grandson.

Everyday is a struggle  but I plan to be around for a long time.

Take care Geoff x

[Jo3]

Hi Toshy

I am sorry to read about what you are going through and the loss of your  husband.  I really hope that your children are helping you and that they give you strength to keep going.

I am currently doing DBT therapy with my therapist.  I see him weekly and we are slowly going through each chapter.  There is lots of homework that I have to do and also put into practice in my daily life what I have learnt, which can be difficult at times.

So far I have learnt about distraction skills, coping skills, judgement, radical acceptance, distress tolerance, relax and self soothe, safe place visualisation.  There is lots more but I can't remember them at the moment. I'll get back to you on the rest. I have just come home today from a 10 day hospital stay having a much needed break from the family and attending group sessions.

I wish you peace and strength

Take care

Jo xx

[AGrace]

Hi Jo,

Just wanted to say I'm glad to hear you're back at home. hope everything went smoothly in hospital, and that you're feeling a bit better now:)

AGrace

[Healthy_mind]

Hi Toshy,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I too am in a similar situation. I have just lost my soul mate to Suicide in Nov 2013. I am currently in 2nd year of DBT (1st being pre commitment) and have had so much support and care throughout the program. It has been instrumental to helping me understand my emotions through the grieving process and I have grown so much since starting pre commitment over a year ago. I can say that it has changed my life. I used DBT and Insight Meditation (vipassana) to help me continue to heal. I wish you all the best with your journey and healing with DBT, it will change your life.

Goodluck x

[toshy]

Thankyou all for taking the time to reply to my message, I am very grateful.

I am having the occasional good day, but most days are still a struggle, the thoughts are the worst I really find it hard to remain in the moment and constantly think of suicide.

Believe me I am trying really hard to get through every day, I do see a therapist once a week but I don't feel as though it is helping with the thoughts.

I do the mindfulness the making space for my thoughts but it doesn't work.

Please tell me this will get better as I am not doing so good right now.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.
 

[AGrace]

Hi Toshy,

I wanted to start by reassuring you that this will get better. Who are you doing DBT with? Do you not have a weekly one on one with your DBT therapist? Do you also have access to phone coaching with your DBT program? 

The suicidal thoughts haven't vanished for me either, I just ride each urge as it comes, trying to do distraction, self soothing, or mindfulness. The thing I've found with coping strategies is that you need to practice them all the time. There's little point in trying to bring them out just when you feel low. 

Are you finding medication helpful? It could be worth having this reviewed. 

If you really feel like you've hit a crisis point, please contact Beyondblue. 

AGrace