Finally started medication and went to a psychologist and feel worse than ever!

[Rosa-eve]

So....after trying to deal with depression and anxiety for along time now without any help,  I finally started taking some medication a few days ago.   I do realise it takes a while to have any effect.  At the moment I find it hard to believe taking a pill will make me feel better. But that is probally because I just can't even imagine feeling better at this point.  I think I'm just hoping it will take the edge off the anxiety if nothing else.  

What has made me feel worse is seeing the psychologist.  I know it has been said before that you might not find someone who works for you straight away and to not give up.  Try and find someone who does.   Today really made me feel like giving up.  

It took a hell of a lot for me to actually go and see someone.  I have never talked about the things that have happened in my life.  And not entirely sure how seeing a psychologist will help.  Not sure what I expect to happen.   Mabey I just ended up seeing the wrong person.    She wasn't who I was refered to.  The doctor talked me into seeing someone  and refered me to someone who he said was very good.     But when I rang for an appointment I was told he was booked out  untill the end of May.   But I could see someone else this week.   I'm thinking that mabey she was so easy to get an appointment with because she isn't that good.    I was bulk billed at least.  But am amazed that it would have cost $150 for pretty much nothing. Other than to make me walk out feeling like there was just no point in talking to anyone.    The letter from the doctor that I gave her said that I was severely depressed.  It said how I had a history of abuse. etc.     So she asked a couple of questions,  one about where I work.  I said how I needed to find another job as I'm not getting enough work to keep me going.  She asked if I was looking for something else. I said I had previously but I don't have the energy to put into finding another job here, when what I really want to do is move back to Canberra.    So,  her advise was to look on all homes for places to rent and apply for jobs.    End of story.   That was it.   Would I like to make another appointment to see her another time.   So I have mentioned suicide to her  (that's how I feel,  but no I wont do that to my son)    she has something in front of her telling her I have severe depression and a whole lot more.  And for $150 all I get is  "do I have the internet so I can look up places to rent"     To Neil and all the other wonderfull people here who offer advice....... you are all worth a fortune.  You offer so much more help, understanding and care than what I got today.     So,    should I try again and wait  to see the psychologist the doctor recomended?      Does it help if you talk to someone who is good at what they do?     I've always been so reluctant to ever talk to anyone.  There has been a couple of times in life that I have tried to explain to people how I feel.  But trying to tell anyone who doesn't understand depression just makes it worse.  It feels to me like drowning.  You have your hand up hoping for someone to pull you out and instead they look at you and push you under.   

Sorry for any rambling! And thanks, from Rosa

[JessF]

Hello Rosa, thank god it was bulk billed! I think you may be right about the good ones being busy. It's like what they say about restaurants, beware of eating at a place that's empty.  I know with my psychologist that it's very busy but the service is the best I've ever had.  There are other good ones out there though, perhaps you need to see someone who will talk to you more about what you would like to get out of therapy and be more active in talking to you about your past and your feelings instead of just reacting to what you say so literally. 

[White_Rose]

Rosa-eve

If you feel dudded then go elsewhere.  I spent far too long with a psychiatrist who went to sleep when I talked to him, was extremely sarcastic and couldn't even start his appointments on time. Not five minutes late but up to an hour.

Trouble is we are so nervous about these things that going to to a different psych can be nerve-racking.  I felt I would be judged as an awkward client if I changed psychs because obviously the fault would be mine not his.  I got over that with my doctor's help and I will never allow this to or anything like it to happen again.

You may not be able to get an appointment with the recommended psychologist for a few weeks but if your doctor believes he/she is good at the job then it's worth waiting.  Meanwhile, check out  a couple more psychologists.

Yes, I understand it's hard. I know I was terrified but look at it as one more step in your journey.  Every step brings you closer to a good place.

Psychologists and psychiatrists are not supposed to discuss you or your difficulties with anyone, so whatever you say will remain with them.  If you want you can refuse to allow a new psych to access your old records and start afresh with them.  That way the new person can make up his/her mind about the problem without being influenced by your previous experiences.  The good ones will not mind about this.

Just a couple of extra words.  When you start to see a psychologist it may feel worse at first because you will probably be bringing up all sorts of old hurts.  The good psychs will take you slowly through this and if you are getting distressed will help you.  It's like exercising, as I know to my disappointment. The first sessions hurt and there are lots of aches and pains until you start to get fitter and stronger.  You learn to manage and take the improved fitness at your own pace.

So think of it as a workout.  Being sweaty and aching at the end shows you have been working hard.

Good luck and keep us posted.

White Rose

[Neil_1]

Hi Rosa

I'm sorry that your recent experience with that psych was a very poor one.  But as you wrote, I guess from experience that you've heard on this site, it can be a long experience in finding 'that perfect (or at least very good) psych'.  Long, expensive and painful although great to hear that they bulk billed.

Brilliant advice from both Jess and White Rose that you've already received.

I back up their comments and would like to suggest whether it's possible to get back to your GP again.  To let them know about the wait that you have to have for the pysch that they recommended (I hope you made the appointment with this person anyway - cause if something brilliant happens, that you find an awesome one in the meantime, you can always cancel it) is booked up for ages, BUT is there 'another' one who is in similar style to this psych that they could recommend.  Please mention about the previous one as well being that they were no good for you.

One other thing that I've mentioned a number of times on here and it's a practise that I do.  Type down in say dot points the things that you'd like to discuss with your psych.  It's a page or pages only for you to view if you decide that's the way you'd like to go.  You can then use them you know, like prompt cards when you're in your next session, so you can cover all bases.

I know it gets draining in these appointments, as White Rose suggested because you're rehashing over past experiences but it's these things that need to be dealt with - and I just hope that you can find someone suitable soon.

Thanx for getting back to us and would love to hear from you again.

Kind regards

Neil

[Neil_1]

PS:   Rosa, above all else, "Don't Give Up".  🙂