Feel regerted to talk to the psychologist!

[A sad boy]

Just now I talked with a psychologist and at first the condition was good. However, when I said that I had thought that I want to end myself, the atmosphere turned a lot -- she changed the attitude and got it seriously. I acknowledged that this is not a easy thing, however I think that it only made me more pressured to think of this thing. This just made me more quiet for me even to the psychologist. I think that I regreted to talk to the psychologist about the suicide. I am really sorry for that. I even think that I may do not talk with any psychologists because it is ALL none of work!!!

BTW I am safe now and I am always safe this time, so you can put it in the heart.

[Sophie_M]

Thank you for being part of the beyondblue community forums. 

We just wanted to send you a quick note to say there is always help available to you. We hope you find all the support, advice and conversation you need here. You can also talk to one of our professional mental health counsellors 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636 or web chat (3pm-midnight AEST) or email available at www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport who can provide you with some counselling, advice and referrals. Headspace is another great resource for young people aged 12-25 https://www.eheadspace.org.au/ or 1800 650 890. A fuller list  of the services out there can be found here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/national-help-lines-and-websites.

[DedicatedToHealth]

A Sad Boy - I am glad you are safe and thank you for sharing with such honesty. You are not alone, your experiences and thoughts mirror some of mine. In fact I find it confronting when people ask THAT question. I don't find it helpful, in my experience. So be assured that those strange vibes of the atmosphere changing are not imagined. i do hope you can find a way to speak to someone without that word becoming the barrier to being heard so you can get assistance, a good ear, reassurance, professional guidance - whatever it is you need to feel heard and ease your thoughts. I can't advise you on what is right for you.

If it helps at all please know that some of us have gone through that experience and have had the same thoughts of regret. One professional told me: if you have to try too hard to be understood/heard by the counsellor then they are not right for you. You are not the problem, you did nothing wrong in speaking honestly. I found some GPs were more easy going when I shared my thoughts. They didn't react, they seemed more ready to listen. Just my experience, not saying it is right for others.

Finding the right person to talk to is tricky for some of us. Sending you good thoughts and well wishes.

[Mara56]

I can totally understand where you’re coming from Sad Boy. I agree with Dedicated to Healths comment about if your not being heard then perhaps the psychologist might not be the right person for you. Not sure if it helps but I saw 14 therapists over 20 years before I found someone who could help me. I have PTSD from complex trauma. I was 16 years into that journey before PTSD was diagnosed and it was me that realised it. I was doing research for a research project and as I studied I realised that everything I was reading was what I was experiencing. I went to my psychologist at the time and I asked her if I have PTSD. She confirmed it and explained that as I’d experienced multiple traumas it was complex PTSD. It took another 4 psychologists before I found the right one for me. So what I’m trying to say is don’t give up. There is help out there. You’ll know when you’ve found the right person to work with. I know what it’s like to feel suicidal and how hard it is to reach out. I’m also sensitive to how others react when I reach out. Thankfully Beyond Blue is supportive environment and a safe place. I know one of the other people who replied to your post I think her name is Sophie, posted some Beyond Blue links. I’m sure they’ll help. In the meantime take care and stay safe.