Hi, welcome
The 1st thing that comes to mind is how we plan our shopping, career and the week ahead but planning our future is eroded down to "dreams" like in a way that it will all fall into place. Yet we should include milestones and interim achievements in those plans.
1 year, 3 years, 5, 10 should be made and include monthly goals as well. Of course flexibility is a must as our lives change. These plans should include financial, emotional and social needs and even boundaries. Once in place you might rid toxic people out of your life, socialise with the most compatible and embrace them more. Other ways to plan is to not have unrealistic expectations beyond your control, saving a deposit for a house is the best example when you save say $10,000 and the lowest house goes up by $50,000. In that case you might need to reassess your living location (eg if city based seek country work and houses much cheaper).
I'm a baby boomer and dont want to sound like I'm lecturing as we are on the nose on these topics, but I joined the Airforce at 17 and after 3 years service (6 now) I got a low interest home loan that got me started, all I needed was a block of land. However all was not rosy as the Keating Govt of the day floated interest rates and when seeking a 2nd mortgage we paid 21% on that loan. We were forced to sell to have children.
I know of a couple 10 years ago that made the sacrifice of living in a campervan. They did that for 3 years, staying in free or low cost camping areas on the fringe of a major inland city. No rent and they would go on holidays every second weekend to the coast. They commuted into the city daily to work. They saved an enormous amount and got their home. It's a shame radical steps are needed to do this. One one wage if it isnt feasible then for the sake of your mental health smaller steps might be wise like a block of land furthe rout if city based or a old house 3 hours from the city that is barely liveable, a project of slow renovation and healthy distraction from "the grind".
On the mental health topic you could visit your local GP and tell them of your issues and ask for 10 free visits to a mental health professional.
I hope that all helps. PS... "a person shouldnt be defined as a failure for all the things life throws at them nor for underachieving... You are a successful lady on the things that matter most."
TonyWK
