Worried about my daughter

[hsvoz72]

Hi all. I'm new here.
My 14 year old daughter is not her usual happy bubbly self lately. For the last week and a half she hasn't wanted to go to school. I'd wake her up in the morning saying, wakey wakey time to get ready for school. She'd say to me, I feel sick mum or I have a headache/migraine I don't want to go to school. The first two days, I thought everything was all good and she was just sick/unwell. This has been going on for a week and a half now. I know she's not sick and I'm really started to worry about her.
So this morning I texted her best friend and asked if she's noticed anything wrong with my daughter. She's noticed that my daughter is sad quite a bit and when she asks her what's wrong she said nothing's wrong I just get sad alot. She's told me that my daughter has liked alot and i mean alot of sad, lonely, depressed etc pages on social media and that maybe I should have a look to see how many.
Today I said to my daughter, what's wrong why don't u want to go to school? U know u can talk to me about anything.
She said to me, she feels like everyone is always looking at and laughing. She also said that she doesn't feel like doing anything, see anyone or talk to anyone and she said she's felt this way for awhile.
I'm very worried and concerned about my daughter.

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning hsvoz72

I am sorry for the late reply to your post, I hope that this morning is better for you and your daughter.

I am going through a similar thing with my daughter too, year 7, new school, new friends, missing their old friends, not knowing who they are, worried about who they are "supposed to be". It is so very much for our young people and I can hear how worried you are and I am so pleased you are here to reach out for support. My daughter is 13 and I get texts from her saying her friends hate her (I know this is not true as they spend time at my house) but this is her perception, so I have to address it seriously. Just as your daughter is saying people are laughing at her. School is tough and I think very different to when we (I am 45) were at school.

I am by no means a professional but I would and have given the kidshelp line a call 1800 55 1800 as they will be able to give you some advice and maybe even get to speaking to her on the phone too.

Sick tummies, sadness, headaches and being withdrawn are all things to take very seriously and I am so pleased you have reached out. It is fantastic she is talking to you and was able to describe some of how she is feeling to you, that is so positive and she is talking. Do you think she would be open to seeing and chatting to your doctor about this and maybe seeing what they think?

I am so sorry that you are going through this too, my daughter is 13 and as a parent you would do anything for them and to take the pain away, well you are here and talking and that is a wonderful step for you to help your daughter.

Hugs to you hsvoz72

AS

[Alana_H]

Hi hsvoz72,

Thanks for posting. I'm sorry you're daughter is having a rough time. There is nothing harder for a parent than to not know how to help your child. I feel for you and think it's great that you're reaching out to find solutions.

Aaronsis has made some great suggestions and I would definitely agree that calling the helpline or going to the GP with your daughter are great steps. I would also ask if she has an aunt or a friend of your that she gets along with that she can reach out to, sometimes even in the closest parent/child relationship children can have difficulty talking with their parent, but someone older than her friends that you and her trust can often help. You could also contact the school to see if the counselling services are able to reach out to her, they don't have to say it was you who called in, they can say some teachers noticed she is down at the moment. A final suggestion if she's not open to these things is Headspace, they have safe spaces for teens all over Australia or even online 1-on-1 support from 9am-1am (Melbourne time) 7 days a week. https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/connect-with-a-clinician/

Keep reaching out to her and be sure to be kind to yourself and get help for you too if you are struggling, the teenage years are hard for most kids/parents at some point so know you're not alone.

Feel free to let us know how you are going.

Alana_H