Wife In turmoil

[Zoya]

My wife finally told me that she is depressed which I knew after many years of seeing Her actions  she has blamed me for everything she is going through which I'm very upaet about  she has told me for years that she will leave me ut never does 

[white knight]

Hi Zoya,  welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Has your wife sought treatment? You said she knows she has depression, then treatment is the natural next step is it not? Rather than blame you.

It is likely common in relationships that have had regular turmoil that this would happen. But it doesnt mean its fair.

Other threads that might help you (use search) are

Forgiving and forgetting

Depression- a ship on the high seas

Regards   Tony  WK

[geoff]

dear Zoya, thanks for posting your comment on the site.

When we have depression we can make some awful statements, some that are carried through while other times they aren't.

My good friend Tony has mentioned that she needs treatment, so she needs to go and see her doctor, but it may not be as simple as this, because if she's had it for years and not done anything then this is not going to be simple.

It could be a problem for you to mention this, the reason being that she says that she wants to leave you, so I wonder whether there is a friend or family member who could approach her, but it really should be done.

If however you do happen to mention it just remember that she has blamed you for everything,  so an argument might occur.

Can I also suggest that you yourself have a visit to your doctor and have a chat with him/her, just a precaution. Geoff.

[Zoya]

Thanks for your responses

 its been 48 hours and she seems to have changed completely but then it happens again months later where she falls into a depressed state I've found that she goes through this when her period commences so I the hormones in her body are affecting her judgement  I spoke to a doctor years ago but really didn't undetstsnd Her moods then  now uve seen it happens a number if times

The next day she was nice to ne and even let me kiss her

 thus is all very weird 

[geoff]

dear Zoya, can you google this 'depression and periods', which you may have already, and hopefully some of the girls can chip in here.

I would be interested to hear what you think.     

[Zoya]

Premenstrual dysphoeic disorder is what she has.  she needs anti depressants

shoiuld have become a doctor