Who helps those caring for their depressed family member?

[TiredMum77]

I have just come from a mental health unit at the public hospital with my 18 year old and while the staff were amazing with her, no one offered me any advice at all. I was made to feel guilty for not noticing earlier and then told well done for coming in which felt all too patronising.

I was told to keep being supportive and love her but isn’t that what I’ve already been doing? It isn’t enough. I have been told to monitor her but again, that is what I was doing, that is how she got there in the first place. Where is the practical help?

I’m exhausted. I still have to work and raise three other children. Everyone in the family is going through this, but no one is listening to us. Her depression is so draining on everyone. She is so angry that we don’t understand and I get that. But I am only human. Please help....

[Sophie_M]

Hi TiredMum,

Welcome to our friendly online community. We're so glad that you reached out here for some support. We understand how difficult it can be supporting loved ones with mental health issues, and you mentioned you have three other children to care for as well as work. That is so much, and we want you to know that we think you are so strong.

We're sorry that you were made to feel guilty by some of the hospital staff and that you and your family have been feeling so drained. You're definitely not alone - we have a whole section of the forums dedicated to Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition.

You might also be interested in our page, "Looking after yourself while supporting someone"

Have you considering seeking some mental health support for yourself to help cope with the situation? If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 
Our friendly counsellors can offer support, advice and referrals.

You may also want to consider family therapy. Relationships Australia may be able to help you with this, and they can be contacted on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.

Thank you so much for reaching out here. We hope that some of this is of some help. Please feel free to reach out here anytime.

[geoff]

Hello TiredMum, and a warm welcome to the forums.

As parents we do everything we possibly can to help our kids depending on the circumstances and I'm sure that's exactly what you were doing but it's not easy when they have depression of any type, compared to the 'overnight ' bug because with any mental illness, we aren't sure how they are feeling or what is going through their mind as this may change from day to day and working as well as looking after three children would be exhausting for you.

If your daughter has the strength she can also contact Kids Helpline as well as what Sophie_M has provided, their phone number is 1800 55 1800 or maybe online, these are trained counsellors and help eople from 5 to 25 years old.

Her doctor needs to be notified because I know when I came out of hospital my psychologist/GP wasn't informed of all the reasons why I was put there and you could ask if she wants you to be with you.

It's also helpful for you to ask to see a psychologist on a mental health plan.

Hope you can get back to us.

Take care.

Geoff.