Trying to support my husband...

[Nickle888]

Hi,

My hubby has had depression and anxiety for quite sometime now and has recently been diagnosed with OCD aswel. He has been off work since december and is therfore not being paid.. i am currently 8 months pregnant and have just started my maternity leave, im no longer going to be paid either until the baby is born and even then its the bare minimum.. no way near enough for all the bills.

Hubby was due to return to work next week but today has said he cant do it.. th pressure of becoming a dad and also working fulltime to provide for us is too much for him.. i havnt been pushing him to return to work because i know how anxious it makes him but i dont know where our money is going to come from which stresses me out.. and also stresses him out.

Since hes been off work his motivation for anything has just disappeared.. he admits to having no motivation and no will to live anymore.. hes told me the only reason hes still alive is the baby, im hoping when the baby comes he may find his motivation again but im not holding my breath.. i dont really know what to do anymore..

His family arnt very helpful, they just whinge to him about getting back to work to make some money.

I need advice or help or just someone to tell me that were gonna get through this.

[PatT]

Hi Nickle888,

Sorry to hear you're going through such a rough patch. It's difficult to see somebody we love go through such pain and it so often unfortunately affects those closest to us even if we really want to spare them from harm. From what you've described he really needs to go and get some psychotherapy and consider a medication. People with mental illness can be incredibly stubborn and often reject the idea of help but you've got to be forceful enough in your resilience to make him take those first steps if he won't himself.

I think you should book him in an appointment to see a GP and go with him so you can ensure he goes and the doc gets a complete picture of what's going on. If he honestly is making threats against his life then I'd urge you to contact lifeline or get him onto the phone with them if possible. It's no idle threat to joke about it.

Take care of yourself.

[Nickle888]

Sorry i should have mentioned earlier.. hes already seeing a psychologist and has regular check ups with his GP.. hes also on medication  to help him settle at night

[Winterfell]

Hi Nickle

it sounds like you are really stressed and it sounds like your husband is not travelling well at all. Does he have income protection through his job at all? If not is he eligible for some support through centrelink, sickness benefit or something like that? Can his Gp or psychologist assist with the process of making a claim? Also do they know how badly he is feeling? Its not light thing when people feel hopeless or helpless, its true cause for alarm.

[Nickle888]

Hi thank you for your reply!

My husband has gone to centerlink and recieved forms for sickness benefits.. but i am worried they wont pay him because of my income.. even though im on maternity leave and not getting paid at all at the moment ive been hearing different things from different people and im worried he wont be eligible for payments as i earn too much when im actually working..

[Winterfell]

That's good your husband has gone and got the forms. If you are unsure then maybe talk to someone directly at Centrelink as often with these things there can be lots of misinformation and conflicting information. I hope that maybe getting the forms in will help some of your concerns especially with the baby due so soon. While he is off work and before bubs come it is likely an ideal time to see the GP and have a review of his management. Something to help him settle/sleep at night doesn't sound like optimal management for someone with a potentially major depression that is causing disruption at work and a lack of interest in life. Hope things start to look up soon