Hi everyone. I know I'm a strong person but this time I don't know anymore how to handle the situation wd my partner. At the start of our relationship I already knew he has history of anxiety & depression. As it is 'history' then I thought it's over as he also stopped taking medications. He was good to me and we lasted more than 2yrs.
However, in the course of our relationship I can see some inconsistencies with his behaviour. Problems can be like mountains to him. He's forgetful and blame it to his medications for his anxiety and depression. He can't think fast. Always dreading going to work. Always having an upset tummy that doest respond to normal medication. Scared to go to sleep because he might not be able to wake up. Run to the confession room the next day after we have sex. Watch porn too much even though he feels too guilty about it. On the things he feels guilty of doing he would still do them and the cycle goes on. He's scared of the end of the world. His behaviours will immediately change when there's a full bright moon but when he's fine he knew that his reaction to it is beyond normal.
For a couple of times we almost broke up but this time all of a sudden he moved out. He broke up with me bec accdg to him I deserve some1 better & that he has done too much damage already. But I was able to talk him into coming back together. We are communicating well through text and I know in my heart that he still loves me but don't know what to do with it that he would rather run. I don't know if anxiety and depression is causing him not to think properly of a solution cause he will always tell me "I dont know...it's like my brain is not functioning properly...I'm lost" I told him I'm here and I want us to fight for our love but he always say that he might disappoint me in the future. I want to fight for this bec before he fought for it too. But, sometimes he's hard to understand. His reasonings and his constant change of mind. I feel hurt too and sometimes emotions clouded my judgwmet and forget that he is not coping well.
He agreed to see a psychologist again but said he had bad experiences with them that's why he did not went back. But still I was able to convince him and he said he will make arrangements. I'm scared though that he might change his mind again as he always does. I want to make him feel better, have a clear head, and decide and make judgements properly for himself and not only for our relationship.
