Supporting a Carer

[Heidi35]

I have a friend who is going through a really difficult time. Their spouse is experiencing mental health problems (anxiety and depression), it is having a huge impact on their relationship, as well as my friends own well being.

My question is how can I be the best support to my friend. What are the right and wrong thing to say? How do I best help my friend during this?

Any ideas and advice would be much appreciated 🙂

[white knight]

Hi Heidi, Welcome

It's a fine line but easily achievable.

Firstly its admirable of you to be such a supportive friend. Rare these days I'd suggest. Carers need release and care for themselves. If and when your friend can spare the time- take him/her on a short trip and during that trip try to spend as little time talking about her spouse as possible.

You could also recommend reading up here on many threads that could help them day to day.

The "fine line" could be breached if you included yourself too much between the couple. He/she is your friend and you should concentrate only on that friendship IMO

Tony  WK

[Zeal]

Hi Heidi,

Thanks for posting!

Although I haven’t personally been in your position, I have some thoughts about this. The key thing is not to get involved in matters related to their relationship. Be there emotionally for your friend. So, have regular catch ups over coffee or lunch. Your friend may want to have a mental break from talking and thinking about her spouse and his problems, and so chat to you about other topics. She may sometimes need or want to “vent”, and being attentive and listening to her is important.

The main thing is that you are there for her when she needs a friend, or a break from being a carer for her spouse. This will help with her own mental wellbeing. Maintaining close friendships like yours is important for your friend.

I hope you and your friend remain close.  

Best wishes,

SM