Sibling of Bipolar

AnitaVD · ‎26-04-2015

Hi I was wondering if any other families are out there that struggle with a sibling/daughter who has bipolar. Ever since I was five (she is 12 years older than me) I've had to deal with her struggles and what happens to a person with bipolar. She was my best friend. There were always appointments and episodes because she had severe reactions to the meds, either too strong or didn't suit her body. Constant visits to psychiatrists and Drs, and alot of hospitals visits from various reactions. We've tried for many years to be supportive and adapt to her needs. Once she got married we still carried on being supportive, We've always had a mindset that if you have asthma, you treat it, if it is diabetes you treat it and same goes with mental illnesses you treat it. But once she got married her husband and herself decided to go off meds cold turkey, I get that she wanted to be a mum, but did she have to go about it this way. However, my sister has been causing a whole lot of trouble between out family it is heartbreaking. It has been going on for coming up 18 years. She has lied, has said that my family has done things to her which aren't true (there's five of us) she has manipulated and divided the family (fortunately not between my parents and other 3 siblings and I, if anything we have bonded more than ever) My mum and dad are devastated. Mum's family are spreading rumours about what they've have supposedly done. Mum has challenged them and said if you think we have done something call the police. How can I help them deal with this. i love my parents with all my heart, they are such wonderful, kind and caring people, and they are getting older (72). They should be enjoying their last part of their lives not dealing with this rubbish and having their heartbroken I'm one of their support person's and I'm finding it hard to deal with. We're not sure who to turn to as we're fast losing trust in everyone. I have no respect for my aunts, uncles and cousins any more. Where I once looked up to them. I've started to become anxious myself where I do not like going out anymore in case I bump into these people and cause a scene of sorts. I'm worried I'll pass on this to my 2 beautiful children. We're at our wits end. Can you please help?!!! Any suggestions would be lovely.

Cheers

Chris_B · ‎27-04-2015

Hi AnitaVD, welcome to the forums.

To find some other members who are likely to share your situation, please check out the following threads below - feel free to revive them by posting in them.

Husband with bipolar disorder

New member partner of bipolar sufferer

Who can I turn to get help when my partner has bipolar?

Struggling with a partner with bipolar

Pixie15 · ‎29-04-2015

Hi AnitaVD,

I also would like to welcome you to the bb forums. It could be helpful as ChrisB has suggested to have a look a some of the other threads on the site here. If you want more specific information on bi-polar it might be more helpful to have a look at The Black Dog Institute site as well.

It can be hard to know what to do to help family members when they are not prepared to help themselves. As you have written if both your sister and her partner have given up their treatments this sounds like a difficult situation. Heartbreaking to have to watch especially if you have been positive in supporting them to get help for a long period of time.

I do not know what your sister is accusing your parents of but I am a little surprised that your mother's family are taking her word if they are aware of her background. They must be aware that your sister's view may have been unbalanced by her illness. Have you asked them why they are prepared to believe your sister and not your parents about whatever the issue is?

Sometimes family relationships just don't work for many reasons and because you don't choose your family I think you can just do the best you can to get on without giving up your self respect.

Thanks,

Pixie.

Salsita · ‎10-01-2017

Hi Anita. I hope you are still out there somewhere and that your family is doing a little better.

My family appears to have a similar situation to your own. My sister made false allegations and family friends decided to believe her without doing any fact checking.

We have lived through a nightmare situation over the past few years. I won't go into the rest of the story in detail to protect privacy, but if you are out there and want someone to talk to, let me know.

If nothing else, you can know that there are others out there who have 'some' idea of the pain that your family has been going through. All the best to your siblings and parents!

AnitaVD · ‎10-01-2017

Hi Salsita,

Thank you so much for your reply. It was lovely to hear from you, knowing that we're not alone. Our situation got so bad I ended up having to see someone to sort myself out. Now we are in a much better position mentally.

To this day, we still have dramas, not much has changed there, but because I sought help in how to deal with the pressures, gossip and innuendo it is now like a mosquito bite haha. It still bothers us but not as much. Learning how to deal with it and realise it is not "always" your problem anymore, had taken a huge weight off my shoulders. I am a much happier, stronger and successful person now.

I hope your situation becomes easier. However you choose to deal with it. Seriously, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Should you need anyone to talk to, happy to listen.

Cheers,

Anita