PTSD and PND

[automatic]

8 years ago my daughter gave birth to a son. What should have been a joyful occasion was destroyed by a terrible birth. She suffered mentally and physically and ended up in a mother baby unit. I believe she has never completely addressed the event. Neither she nor her husband were able to bond with the boy for quite awhile so we had him and his sister often. Things got better and all seemed well however she started drinking heavily and now it affecting he relationship with her husband. He was at the point of leaving and taking the kids but I hope I have made him see some sense. It is killing me seeing them go through this and as they live in the country and I work I cannot just drop everything and drive 4 hours to help. Recently My husband and I went down to help but my daughter says everything is fine and to butt out. I have told my son in law that we are here to support him and the family but that walking out is a no win situation for all of us. He has gone from lashing out at me to being more understanding this morning and is willing to get help. I know my daughter has to want to get help but would like to have that info ready for when she does.

[PamelaR]

Hello Automatic

Welcome to Beyond Blue (BB) forums. People here are friendly, caring, supportive and respect individual's privacy. We're not counsellors or therapist, though we've all had experience with mental illness.

I can see you really care for your family. They are so lucky to have you. It is such an important part of healing and recovery for your daughter. She may not realise that at the moment, with comments like - 'butt out'. I guess that hurts. Though if you can look at it as part of what she is going through and not take it on personally it may help you. Eight years is a long time.

To help you, I may ask some questions, though there is no pressure for you to answer these. I'm not being nosey just trying to understand better so I can help.

You say your daughter has PTSD and PND. Is she currently seeing a gp and/or therapist about these conditions?

While PTSD, anxiety and depression can be debilitating at times, it is manageable with good support from the right professionals and a range of self help tools.

I have PTSD, anxiety and depression and find that what helps me manage these - is to have a good gp who understands me and a good therapist who is able to give me tools to cope.

Ultimately, your daughter will need to take responsibility for herself and make the move to manage the PTSD and PND. It requires ongoing management.

Did she drink before having her baby 8 years ago? Or is that something since the birth?

It's pleasing to hear that her husband is going to stay about to help. That's really good. Your daughter needs to participate in her own recovery as part of his willingness to stay.

Many woman have PTSD, anxiety, depression, your daughter is not alone. Have a browse through the forums and the Beyond Blue home page.

Look forward to hearing back from you automatic.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi automatic,

Welcome to the forums - sorry I just came across this post today for the first time! How are you and your daughter going since you've made this post?

I'm not sure if you're still looking for some information, but if you are -

PANDA is the absolute go-to for PND resources. They are an Australian organisation specific to pre and postnatal depression. They have phone lines and specific support forums (just like this one). Their website is here - www.panda.org.au

Given the info is a little broad though I've also linked to some other ones below.

You might also find this link helpful about PTSD and recovering from a traumatic birth - http://cope.org.au/birth/recovering-from-a-traumatic-birth/

and this one about Postnatal depression; specifically symptoms and treatment options -https://womhealth.org.au/sites/womhealth/files/public/Antenatal%20and%20Postnatal%20Depression_low%20res.pdf

(Note that page 21-24 on this document has some ideas about how to provide support from both husbands and family)

I hope that this is useful! You may even want to print out some of these resources to show her or use it as a tool in your conversation rather than directing to websites.