Post Concussion Syndrome: Harvey Two Face

[borderbuddy]

Hello, my partner is suffering from Post Concussion Syndrome after approx. 12 concussions in 5 years, (he is currently 25). Due to being on an international visa, he is unable to obtain a medicare card and receive proper medical support.

This makes it very hard when he has an episode; usually a violent outburst directed at me. Fuelled with hateful words that lack any empathy, personal attacks that I "get upset over everything", and admitting that he despises speaking with me because I always twist his words.

These episodes will last anywhere between a few minutes to hours. After which, he will be filled with an overwhelming sense of remorse, begging for forgiveness. These attacks on me leave him brim with self loathing, and worsen his already depressed mind.

I'm trying to understand how the most doting person I'be ever had in my life can become the polar opposite, in what seems like an instant?

I have GAD, depresssion and borderline personality disorder; which I am medicated and in therapy for. I would consider myself a well functioning depressive most of the time.

I guess what I really want to know is; will staying by the man I love, ultimately ruin my own mental health?

Thank you for reading this, even just writing it out helps.

[white knight]

Hi Bb, welcome

I can't answer your question. We only get one side of a story here.

However, you are free to implement your own boundaries in your relationship to insist abuse stops. If he isn't OK with that then you might need to move on.

The same goes with medical consultation, if he doesn't want to pursue it then move on.

These are basic requests that are reasonable in an abusive relationship.

Medications for any mental illness have come a long way in the last few years.

The bottom line however, is that you are the one that has to live with him. You'll need to find the confidence to make the above decisions. Otherwise it won't improve.

Dont feel guilty for wanting a loving, caring, calm life with good communication.

Tony WK

[JessF]

Hello Bb... how did your partner suffer 12 concussions in 5 years?

[borderbuddy]

He works as a removalist and has had things drop on his head and knock him out. He has also been hit by a car skateboarding twice.

[borderbuddy]

Hello,

Thank you for your response. I understand what you're saying and it sounds like the best idea.

I think a conversation about setting boundaries is definitely needed; I'm moreso dreading his response. But at the same time, he needs to understand that he's hurting me and probably address the care he needs.